i need someones advice on my relationship.! PLEASE
so me and my boyfriend have been dating for about 9 months now. we have the kind of relationship were its a love/hate kind of thing. one minute were all in love and then the next minute were arguing and we hate eachother. so you can only imagine the kind of ****. anyways here recently i want to say within this past couple of weeks we got into the biggest arguement we ever been in, i ended up breaking up with him and was very serious about the matter, because were forever breaking up and getting back together. well i ended up breaking up with him and of course he does what he is good at doing trys to sweet talk me into staying and im usually dumb enough to fall for it every single time. but i told him i basically needed time to think about things, well about 5 days went by with no communication, and we ended up getting back together. well not to long after we got in another big arguement and it seems like this one had taken a big toll on are relationship he ended up ending things with me and we went back to not communicating at all he wouldnt reply to any of my texts or calls. eventually everything went back to some what normal and see this is where i am very confused at. because we ended up getting back together after everything had blown over from all of are arguements. and now when i text him he wont text me back AT All.i believe the last text i recieved from him was about 4 or 5 days ago when i was supposed to call him and we was supposed to talk about everything that had been going on to try and move forword with are relationship and what not, and he told me to call him in 30 minutes but he never anwsered when i called and ever sense then he has not called me, he has not texted he has not anwsered any of my calls or text. im soo confused !! i have no idea what the hell is going on ???
Everybody has a breaking point. The point in which they don't just deep down know and ignore anymore that things aren't working out. They mindfully acknowledge it.
You have been together a very short time--- 9 months is short to have these types of issues. Sweetie, this is the EASY time period of a relationship. If you are fighting like that now, no way could you last through the stress life brings to us as people and partners in a relationship over time. Relationships aren't supposed to be love hate. Sure, I fight with my husband but not on a regular basis and not to where we do a dance of break up, back together, break up, etc.
Sure, that took a toll. And he might just be done with it. And in all sincerity, YOU SHOULD BE ALSO. This isn't a healthy relationship. It's going nowhere fast and the two of you should split and spend some time thinking about what was so darn important to fight about all the time? Why did you stay together at all if you had such issues? Work on yourself, throw yourself into work or school, spend time with friends, etc. And THEN, slowly begin dating again. You don't want to repeat this destructive relationship pattern.
You'll find that relationships work better when you learn to let the little things go. Constant bickering will eat away at things. Getting irritated all the time will make a cloud hang over things. Not trusting one another is doom for a relationship. It's just not supposed to be that way.
So when you ask what happened---- from the outside looking in, it seems like your boyfriend has had enough. He wants a peaceful relationship with someone he gets along with better. And I really really wish that for you as well. good luck
From what I've seen of very volatile relationships, they end this way. Both fight like cats and dogs and one person is kind of fine with it, and the other finally gets enough and doesn't want to live that way. It sounds like he's had enough and you are still okay with the level of constant fighting the two of you do.
hi and welcome. By you continuing to break up or threatening to break up has caused him insecurity. What kind of communication is this when instead of trying to resolve issues you break up with him?
He is worried you will hurt in the end by breaking up and apparently has mustered up enough strength to walk away.
This relationship isn't going to make u very happy or him. Y would u want to do this to yourself? Not sure if maybe ur afraid of being alone, but if so, u night b ruining your chances of finding someone who might not make you go through all this. Really think of what u want.
Your BF is sending you a very clear message, that he's had enough. If he WANTED to work on the relationship, he would be making an effort. Instead, he's ducking you. I would just be done with this once and for all.
I agree with the ladies above that it's maybe time to call it a day on this one. Sounds like there has been more bad than good, and that's not going to yield a happy union for either of you. Especially considering it's only been a very short time!
I agree with taking some time to work on YOU. Don't jump right back into another relationship, that's never healthy. And learn from YOUR mistakes in this situation. VERY rarely are issues in a relationship only one sided. Almost always, both parties are contributing to the chaos...so you need to do some honest soul searching to figure out where YOU went wrong so you don't repeat the same patterns in the future with someone else.
Lastly, I'm not sure how old you are, but the breaking up every time you have a fight is basically like 6th grade nonsense. That causes SO much unneeded drama. The decision to end a relationship should be one that is thoroughly thought out, not made hastily on a whim (especially as a punishment when angry), and something that should be considered permanent. That alone probably made your relationship a lot harder to be taken seriously, by either of you. Knock that kind of stuff off for sure.
thank you everyone for taking the time out to reply. i appericate what each and everyone of you had to say about it. all though i understand everything that has been said, i am slowley starting to move on from the situation. but i am also still a little confused by his actions because he is sending me texts saying, if im ready to act right we can talk but everytime i go to call him to talk with him he never anwsers. ? it seems hes playing some kind of mind game.
I personally wouldn't give this anymore of your time and effort..moving on sounds like the right thing to do. If you want to try again, my advice would be to tell him he needs to call YOU, until then, you won't play these back and forth text games. It's so ridiculous.
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