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i really need help
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i really need help

hi , i'm a 19 years old girl . well i met this wonderful guy on web , he liked me n he suggested  that we should meet . so i met him he was wonderful n actually we kissed n kissing for me is a huge deal n the kiss was wonderful we bothe enjoyed n felt amaizing , i dont know there are a huge physical and mental attraction between us . so the problem  is i feel that am going to rowing every thing becose i had a terrible relationship before with a guy who lowed down my self esteem .. and in every time i do something rong or right i wonder if he is like my ex or that he is going to hurt me like my ex did that he just wanna play n just  get what he want from me than leve me . but this feeling didnt come out of nothing this new guy stated telling that he likes me a lot and he would love to spend a night with me that he is going to take me to a very romantic place that i would looove to go to , and that we spend a the whole day there than we sleep in the hotel over there in the sama room , i spent a whole night thinking about it and imagining every thing even the small things and jesters , but in each time i remembre my ex and the skars that he left .. i really want that this new ralation works i started having feelings for him , but am really confused plzzz help
12 Comments Post a Comment
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13167_tn?1327197724
If you have sex with this man that you don't know,  it's very likely he'll have sex with you and then leave.  It's very likely he's married,  or has a criminal record.  Demand more for yourself,  and you'll get more.

Go out to dinner with his friends,  meet his coworkers,  etc.,  before you have sex with him.  Then you'll find out something about him that prevents him from being successful with women face to face - and having to find strangers on the internet for relationships.
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We are treated the way We expect (demand) to be treated.  We have control over Our choices and We need to make good choices.  

RockRose is right - You know nothing about this man - physical attraction doesn't count.  It takes time to build/grow a Meaningful Relationship and THEN You have sex - You don't have sex and THEN hope the relationship becomes meaningful.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
He already wants to take you somewhere "special" and spend the night with you?  That's totally a "red flag."  

If you don't want another situation like what happened with your ex, don't go off with this guy for any "special" getaway.  

Sounds like this guy ONLY wants sex and NOTHING meaningful.  TREAD cautiously.  

Totally agree with Tink......don't have sex and THEN hope the relationship becomes meaningful.  

Going away to some "special place" with a guy you BARELY know isn't a good idea.

Dinners, meeting for coffee......YES and NO to "special places" alone for now.  GET to KNOW him FIRST before doing the "getaways."

Think of yourself as a "diamond."  NOT everyone derserves a "diamond."
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134578_tn?1404951303
I also am alarmed by the notion of going off somewhere with the guy who you don't actually know.  You would be entirely vulnerable to whatever he pulls on you.
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134578_tn?1404951303
And please, lest you think I'm kidding, women end up kidnapped and abused from situations like this.  There are some people who are specialists at chatting up vulnerable young women on the Internet.
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4843277_tn?1364205339
thnk you all ..
i just wanna tell you that i met some of his friends it is true i don't know him very well but i'am sure that he is not married , i know where he works and where he lives , i agree i should not go any where SPECIAL with him , but i really want this to work , i feel like this is my chance to be happy , i meen every woman dreams of certaint basic things in the man she wantes to be with  , i'am lost  becoz i feel that i'am going to rowing every thing becoz , i know that i sould take it easy baby steps ..  but i dont know how  
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How to take it "easy baby steps":

Keep Your panties on - at least until You know more....a lot more.
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3149845_tn?1386354841
Hi sanan,  If you want this to work then youll have to use your feminine charm and that consists of being not overly excited about him but show some restraint. Men will tell you things just to get you in the bed for sex and then dump you. If a man is suggesting spending night in a hotel this early in your relationship , he does not respect you and thinks your easy and a bit inexperienced.
If you fall for this you will make a big mistake and if you do have sex with him, make sure he uses some protection as you dont know who he as had sex with prior to you and you dont want to catch any transmitted sexual diseases.
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1268057_tn?1399131913
I am assuming "rowing" is supposed to be ruin.  Why do you feel like you are going to ruin this?  

Just take things slow and go from there.  Some of your statements in your last post kinda sound desperate and you definitely don't want to be coming across desperate to this guy.  If you go "full speed ahead" then you are for sure going to ruin this.  

He MAY OR MAY NOT be "the one."  @19 chances are he is NOT the one.  You are still so young IMO.  

Dear, do you have other things you are pursuing in life?  i.e. school and/or work?  Seems like you are 100% focus on this guy.  

What exactly happened with this ex?
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4843277_tn?1364205339
well by ruin i mean i started to acting in a stange way with him , i call few times n if he desnt answer i start having bad thoughts that he is playing and things like that n when he calls me i kindeoff show him that i'am angry .. n this is not me i do not want him to take a rong impression becoz i'am friendly and nice n i love enjoying life .
+ abwt  the 100% focus actually i have other things in life i'am preparing for a huge exam that will decide my future and when i study i do not think of him or any kinde of problem , when i wrote my question was becoz , i wanted to start a relationship , after my ex i didnt have any relation i couldnt becoz he left a bad impression on me , and i wanna move on , but the bad impression did not go a way .. as it is clear ..
+ abwt my ex he was horrible with me , i was yong at the time , i didnt think of my self as a DIMAND  at the time he made me think i'am worthless  , we spent 2 years together the only thing that he wanted is a physical relation but thank gohd we did not have sex only kissing and touching those things and i broke up with him when i knew that he only wanted sexe .. so i left him i spent a loots of time hurt broken and didnt get involved with any one after  that ....
AND THAKS :)
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134578_tn?1404951303
Well, sanan, at least you are trying, and in a world where there are thousands of men who would be all too happy to take advantage of you sexually, it is very good to know that you are a diamond and deserve the best and won't accept being treated badly.  Some cultures are worse about this than others, but it is a constant theme that in most, women are treated as less than men in many ways.  That does not mean you have to fall for this message.

Please let your next serious relationship be with someone who you meet through family or friends, in the more traditional way.  There is so much protection in that, and so much more truthfulness.  The Internet is a place where we never have to reveal our true selves if we don't wish to, and anyone can make himself look charming if all he has to do is type a few lines or make a few nice phone calls.  Your reacting strangely when he doesn't answer the phone indicates that you know this, in your gut.  You know that you are operating on very little information, and when you don't get his immediate response your warning flags go up.

Please try to push through with your exams and think this over thoroughly again when they are done.  Sometimes school has a tendency to push us into ill-considered relationships because of the contrast they have with the stress of schoolwork.

In other words, he may not be all you think, and please don't do something you will regret, or that may even harm you.  

(((HUGS))), Annie
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4843277_tn?1364205339
thank you i really appreciate what u've said , what all of u have said
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