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is it such a bad thing ?
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is it such a bad thing ?

so im known as the wierd girl in my street coz im bie sexual ( i like men and woman ) i cant help it ive always been like this and i dont know why .... i would lke to know is it such a bad thing if i go out with a male or femail cause in my eyes everyone is equal i honestly dont care whats in peoples pants i only care about there personality i ust wana know why ppl are so afraid of my desisions
11 Comments Post a Comment
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480448_tn?1403547723
Honey, if this is a question we could answer here, we'd be miracle workers.  LOL  This same questions has been raised millions of times.

You are always going to come accross people who are very accepting of your choices, and people who aren't, for whatever reason.  People have their own views about alternative sexual lifestyles, based on their own belief systems.  It's really just that simple.

I advise you to live your life, and focus less on what others think, and more on just being you, and being a good person, to those around you.  The only person you can control is YOU.

Whoever you end up with, be loyal and faithful to that person.  That's really all you can do, dear.  You can't change people's minds, so don't even try.

Best of luck!
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163305_tn?1333672171
Nursegirl is right.
We have no control over what others think.
What's important is what you think, and how you treat yourself and others.


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973741_tn?1342346373
Yes, I agree.  I think that bisexuality almost confuses folks more than homosexuality.  Some think that it doesn't really exist that someone is just gay and not admitting it.  And in this day and age, it has become 'cool' for a girl to make out with another girl and neither girl is bisexual or gay.  I think that the premiscuous attitude that a lot of teens and young people have makes it tougher on those that are really homosexual or bisexual. They 'play' at it and almost make it a joke.  

I think you be who you are and do your best to be happy whether it is being with a man or a woman.  And as Orphanedhawk says, treat yourself and others gently and kindly.  Find peace inside of yourself and the rest of the world will matter less.  good luck
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4369516_tn?1354028998
I don't think it is "weird" at all. I think it shows a great deal of open-mindedness. I also think that it is great that you are not afraid to be yourself, regardless of what people might think. I read a study years ago that said almost 80 percent of women had thought of being with another woman at some point, but only a small percentage actually try it. Times are changing as is society's version of "normal." Just be true to yourself. You will find the right person, be it male or female. And people will learn to accept it! If not, then too bad. At least you were true to yourself. Most of them probably couldn't say the same.
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13167_tn?1327197724
Well,  I'm going to step out and say I'm confused by bisexuality.  I'm also confused by homosexuality too,  but that doesn't mean it's not somehow in nature's plan,  as bisexuality probably also is.  

You are a human being, and you're totally free to choose whatever partners you want - and blessings for you in that pursuit.  

Most of us are hard-wired for clear sexual behavior that leads to procreation.   Some of us are not,  and that may be in nature's plan too.  
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4367713_tn?1353724467
u guys are making out like im confussed when thats not the case i dont care whats in ppls pants i love everyone for there personality i dont care if its a girl or a boy cause w eare all equal and have rights im not confussed i have been like this y whole life !!
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973741_tn?1342346373
Dear, re read the posts.  no one says you are confused and somehow I think you are sensitive to that and are reading it in.  I think most here said to be who you are.  You asked why some behave oddly about bisexuality, so I and some others expressed why that may be.  There is no suggestion that you should change or are confused.  I think being proud of who you are is important and maybe you put too much thought into what others think.  good luck
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3149845_tn?1414182164
Hi. I think there is a point that should be considered. When we talk about sexual preference, the main point is the act of having sex, and we also have the other aspects of being with people like friendship. We can say that this is not true and we can have sex with everyone we meet but there is a clear difference in having friends we like to be around and the actual act of having sex with them. To have sex with all the people we like is some what steping over the boundries of what society is all about.
To confuse having friends and having sex with all these friends trails moral issues. With this comes transmitted diseases and a host of other issues.

Being heterosexual is one thing and homosexual is another but bisexual shows that you enjoy sex with either man or women, so the question is, which would you want to marry and start a family with?
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480448_tn?1403547723
I agree with SM, I think you're overly sensitive about this topic, no one here suggested you are confused, or that you should change, quite the contrary, actually.  People are just being honest with you about how THEY view homosexuality or bisexuality, and that is a good way to learn, even if you don't agree with other people's perceptions.  It helps people grow and become more tolerant of others if they can try to see how other people may view a certain topic.  Even just acceptance of another's views, without fully understanding them, helps promote tolerance.

I think that a lot of the "turmoil" people in your kind of situation feel, comes more from themselves, rather than others.  You overthink what others are thinking, how others perceive you, or how they judge you.  A lot of times, there is less judgement than you may perceive.  I think that happens because it IS hard to go against the grain and the "norm".  Any time a person chooses a lifestyle outside of the "status quo", there are challenges that come with that.

Again, just be yourself, and be a good person.  That's what is important.  You're still young, but life raises a good point.  One of the challenges you may face is deciding who (what gender) you want to spend your life with.  

There are going to be some differences when you're talking about daily life, legal considerations (marriage in the instance of same sex), starting a family, etc.  Also, I would think it's important that the partner you choose is aware of your bi-sexuality.  You want to choose someone who accepts you for who you are.  You have time to think about all of that, but it's something worth keeping in the back of your mind, as you meet people, and date.

Best of luck to you.
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Avatar_m_tn
You asked two questions in your original post. #1. " Is it such a bad thing if I go out with a male or female?" and #2 Why are people afraid of my decisions?"

1.  This question's answer is about preference.  People opinions are likely to be different than yours and that is more than okay.  Some people are not okay with same sex relationships, and that's fine.  They can choose to stay out of same sex relationships and their problem is over.

It's a judgement thing and I think that is what you're feeling.  Is it fair to be judged on this (or anything else for that matter)?  No, its not fair.  And if you have a certain style that is not  considered "normal" by the masses, some people will judge on appearance alone...  (My son has had purple hair, pierced ears, wears the brightest unmatching colors and people judge him all of the time.  In fact, some lady thought he was a gang member, drug dealer....  The kid looks like a spilled bag of Skittles, for Christ's sake)

Make good choices.  Don't be judge mental yourself.  Act appropriately with manners.....  If you are doing those things and people want to judge? Who cares???  You don't need that in your life.

Is it a bad thing?  No its not... Its a choice and not everyone will be on board with your choice.

#2 Why are people afraid of my choices?  Most important, who's afraid of your choices?  Is it mom and dad?  Again, this is probably something that is foreign to them.  People who don't understand likely stand in opposition or are perceived as being in opposition.
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3147776_tn?1349200103
Great feedback all around.  Why are people afraid? Well, history and society have shown us over & over that people are afraid of differences, or traits that they don't understand or relate to - different skin color, nationality, religion, culture, and yes, sexuality.

You're never going to be able to MAKE people understand, nor can you force them to agree.  What you can do is, instead of being defensive or angry whenever a question or criticism arises, is to open yourself up to (appropriate) questions.  Then you can respond, without harshness, with the explanation you just gave here - that you're attracted to personalities, not gender, and you know they may not understand, the same way you may not understand why some other people are only attracted to people of one gender.  

Your sexuality is certainly not your only defining trait, so hopefully neither you, nor your friends and family, will focus on that alone.
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