is she lying about her pregnancey

[concerned400]

ok so a month or two ago i met this girl and the first night i met her well i kinda knew her but never talked to her, we slept together she said she was on birth control and i didnt use a condom but pulled out. that next day she started acting real crazy talking about relationships and how i felt about her, after she had told me i was just a quickie, so i was amediatly not cool with that she got real upset and acted like we had been dating for a long time. so when she texted me a couple days later i wouldnt hang out with her she flipped out came over started yelling at me said no one dumps i dont get dumped, and r you sure you dont want me and when i said yes this isnt going to work she yells no this is what you want then she slapped me i imediatly told her to get out and she wouldnt leave this went on for an hour and finally she stormed out and i locked the door. couple of days later she texted me like nothing happened and kept asking me to come over and i wouldnt, then shed flip out. well needless to say my idiot self got drunk a couple of times and when she would text me i went there and had sex with her unpertected but always pulled out and she was on birth control, this happened about three times and she would always ask me where our relationship was going, and telling me how hung up on me she was. she also is older than me and has three kids but divorced and all my friends that know her recently told me she is way crazy and to not deal with her so after those three times i held off for a bit cause she was just nuts which was a couple of weeks till she was at a bar i was at and i ended up going back with her and we had sex midway through i thought about how stupid i was and just wasnt into it so we stopped as we were lying there we got into about something cant remember what and she yelled thats fine cause im pregnant and i freaked out and said not by me your not and she said get the f out, and she kept telling me to leave and i said wait r you serious and she said yes im pregnant but im not and she said i mean im not going to have it i said how you said you were on birth control and i pulled out and she just kept telling me to leave i had no choice but to leave so the next morning she came over all lovey dovey apologizing and i asked her if she was really pregnant because that night before she was really drunk and she said i took a pee test the other day and it was positive but i was on my period so i called the doctor and asked to get a blood test  and the results wouldnt be in till monday or tuesday so i told her if she wanted me to pay half of the abortion or wanted me to go to the doctor with her i would but she said no its ok and that she had to go to chicago in a couple of weeks she was gonna get it done there i said ok but if you need anything im here for you. then she asked me to have sex again and i kinda got madd and said um no im a little freaked out here, and she kept asking me, and she would say just be there for me till its done, finally i took her to her car and as we were leaving i said keep me informed on the blood test cause we agreed to cut ties, and she didnt say anything and i said did i say something wrong and she kinda beat around the bush and said i found out the results friday and i said so what were they she paused and said ive got a date for the abortion when i go to chicago and its the 13th. i kinda sat there we paused and then parted ways. she emidiatly text me sayin just be there for me till this is over. and also i didnt mention when we were at the bar out of nowhere she said something about birthcontrol and i said something back and she goes trust me i dont want to have your baby my tubes are tied anyway i said then why are you on birth control she finaly admited she was lying about her tubes were tied and i thought that was weird cause it was before she told me she was pregnant, but anyway so in the meantime she has been texten me wantin me to be there for her and what ever i say makes her flip out and say im an ******* and would keep saying dont tell anyone i dont want anyone to know and finally tonight i was working late and she said can i come over i told her there was customers here and she said screw you and i need someone right now i said what do you want me to do tell them to leave and im in the middle of a job i cant stop, she says your an ******* whats more important them or the person pregnant with your child. i said ill text you when im done, she says whatever then i said you know what i was trying to respect your wishes that you didnt want anyone to know by telling you people are here and you have to call me an ******* and ive done nothing and if you cant respect the fact im in the middle of work and ill contact you when im done then screw it. she texted back and said screw you i needed someone to talk to you cant even be there for me your an *******. then she called me and we were yelling at each other i said ive done nothing but try to be there for you but its not good enough whatever i do im an ******* your to selfish and expect me to say how high when you say jump and its not going to happen im in the middle of workin, the convo went on for a few and she hung up on me. so i went to a buds got a pregnancy test and was goin to go there and ask to see the blood work papers so i can see something in front of me and if she said she didnt have them i was going to make her take the pee test but she wont ansewer her phone or door so i came home and wrote this. and just so you know thats how it was everytime i would talk to her she would be cool at first then just blow up, leavin me nasty voice messages and texts before and after this whole thing like she was bipolar. i dont know what to do and thanks for reading sorry its so long

[heatherlynn22]

well your first mistake was taking this womans word that she was on birth control. there are some crazy women out there who will say their on birth control just to get pregnant. are you POSITIVE she's having an abortion? she might have been saying that just to see what you would say. so she might and might not have it. and why did you continue having any sex what so ever with her? she sounds like a complete loon.

[Vance2335]

The woman is crazy, but you were dumb for taking her word on birth control and also the risk of STD's.
What you need to do is first confirm that she is pregnant and confirm that you are the father. From there it is in your hands.
If she will not talk with you then there is not much you can do. From the story I dobut that she is pregnant, sounds more like a trap to get you to stay.

[concerned400]

yes i know im very stupid for having unpretected sex with her and taking her word about the birth control all i can say is that i have learned a huge lesson from this, and just hope she is lying, cause i will never let anything happen like this again. and about the abortion she keeps saying shes not going to have it cause this isnt the kind of relationship she wants to have a kid in, and she says if you think im gonna back out dont worry about it. she told me she wasnt even goin to tell me about it till i saw her at the bar. and also that night she said i think i love you and i said what dont ever say that again your crazy. anyway do you think im wrong to ask to see the blood work papers cause i know she is going to flip out and say some crazy stuff, im scared to say anything cause i dont want her to just say ok im just going to have it to **** him off or something crazy cause as much as i hate it this is not a fit environment to have a child, and i know thats my fault for having unpertected sex.

[heatherlynn22]

is she or isn't she having the abortion? and if she is why is she going to chicago to have it done?  have you talked to her about adoption? and you're right the way the 2 of you are a child is not good for either of you but it could be a blessing to another couple who can't have children.  have you thought about having your number changed so she can't contact you anymore? changing bars you frequent and doing whatever you can to just avoid her at all cost? she's a nut and it's not surprising that she's divorced. how many times has she been divorced? just the once?

[concerned400]

she says shes having the abortion? she said the reason its in chicago is cause she will be there on work but it all seems suspicious cause she doing everything to where i cant see proof. once i find out the truth her call will be blocked and i will never contact her again. i think she has been divorced once but i know people that dated her and said shes crazy and never got this far in depth with her. the crazy thing is ive really only hung out with her like twice, and the other times were just sex and left, and she is so obsessed it scares me cause who know what she is capable of pulling. im going there right now to make her let me see the blood test but im gonna do it in a nice way and i have a pregnancey test for backup incase she says no. the thing that gets me is you think the doctor would have said ok since its gonna be two weeks since you can do the abortion why dont you do the abortion pill its quicker and she hasnt said how far along she is and she should no this cause you can only wait so long for an abortion in some states, things just dont add up.

[heatherlynn22]

if she's so far along (i'm not sure how far) the pill won't work. it does sound a bit suspicious. why doesn't she have it done before she leaves? or is she going tomorrow? if she won't let you see the blood test results or take an hpt start thinking she isn't pregnant. and DON"T give her money. if she won't give you proof she's pregnant odds are she's not.

and for the abortion i think after 24 weeks it's illegal in all states. i'm pretty sure but not 100% positive.

if she gets to crazy and goes so far as to say start stalking you (people are nuts as you know now) you can get a restraining order or a pfa against her. i know it sounds drastic but if she won't leave you alone it may be your only option.

[concerned400]

i just went there and asked to see the blood test results and she said sure you can see what ever you want and i said can i see them she said well i dont have them with me but when i get back after the 13th you can see whatever you want i will bring a stack of papers and an ultra sound and drop them off. i said well they had to have gave you papers of the results and she said no they never have cause i thought about getting an abortion when i had my twins and they never gave me paperwork but ive never had anyone requesting them either. she kept saying i wouldnt lie about this , i said well if this is your decision i want to make sure your going through with it and she said most definatly theres no way i could not. i said well why didnt your doctor offer you the abortion pill and she said you have to be at least six weeks into your pregnacy to have an abortion i said ******** i looked it up on the internet.

[concerned400]

she just now text me and said i think i might just keep it then you can get all the tests and proof you want. im freakin out

[heatherlynn22]

well if she does keep it.....if you want it you can fight for custody. if you don't want it...you may end up paying child support. but i know there are circumstances to that which you'd have to contact a lawyer about all that.

[concerned400]

i just said why would you want to keep just prove to me thats not right. she said i wouldnt do that to the kid i wont bring a person in the workd whose parents hate each other and he used me for sex for four months then didnt believe he got me pregnent. its so hard to tell if she telling the truth cause i still havnt seen proof, but she says she will show me just dont have it.

[peekawho]

Two words:

Paternity test.

[concerned400]

can you even find out if its yours before it is born

[heatherlynn22]

only if she has an amniocentisis (sp). but if she doesn't need it done for medical reasons don't ask her to there's a 25% chance she could miscarry. my ob wanted me to have one done to see if my boys were autistic. when he told me there was a chance of miscarriage i wouldn't do it.

just wait. i know it will be hard but you'll have to wait.

[RockRose]

heather - a test for autism?  Do you mean Down's syndrome,  not autism?

[concerned400]

thats weird you said that cause i noticed she an autism sticker on the back of her car today

[heatherlynn22]

my docs said autism and downs syndrome. i have cousins who are autistic and a few who have downs syndrome. of course when i refused the amnio they tried so hard to get me to abort the boys. bah. doctors.

[peekawho]

After the baby is born, if she doesn't get an abortion.  Paternity test.

And stop having sex with her forever, if you haven't already.  You fell for the oldest trick in the book.

Never, never, never have sex without a condom.  Not for one instant.

[imanaddict]

First of all, if she were already pregnant and knew for a few days, why is she at a bar drunk?? I would call her bluff! I don't believe she's pregnant by what you've said. She's going to wait to get an abortion in Chicago? When no one is there to drive her back to wherever she's staying? Hmm..sounds extremely fishy to me! If you don't want anything to do with this woman, cut all ties and forget about the so called pregnancy until she can provide 100% proof. Crazy women can and will do crazy things to keep a man, like lying about being pregnant. If she actually has a baby, get a DNA test. I highly doubt she is. I think she's just trying to keep you around and so far it has worked. I'm sorry to hear you're in this situation!