Aa
kind of jealous...
my boyfriend is obsessed with jessica alba and lindsay lohan.. and i can't help but compare myself to them. like fine if he has a celebrity crush and thinks there good looking... but it bothers me when he was like OMG LINDSAY LOHAN IS SO HOT!!! SOOOOO HOT!!! i watched her sex video!!!! ... and he watches movies just because they are in it, but he wont watch other chick flicks with me. i refuse to watch a movie with him if they are in it. he always tells me how jessica alba is perfect. but i want to be perfect for him and i know im good looking and its really the only confidence i have, im not cocky at all though, and it just bothers me. he says im perfect for him as well, and that more than one person can be perfect. since i have a completely different look that jessica alba, he says he likes more than one type of feature for example he could like two noses. but hes never said i looked perfect before he mentioned that she does. i just feel like hes trying to make me better. but i feel like if he didn't brag about them i wouldn't have this feeling, but now its too late. and before he was always like "jessica alba.. mmm... she is something else." and im i've "joked" saying oh u wud date her rather than me. and then he says no i cudn't date her shes way too perfect. so how the hell does that make me as perfect as her then, hes dating me!
Best Answer
COMMUNITY LEADER
Well, he seems a bit out of line with it and it makes sense that if your marriage went through a lull it would make you nervous and sensitive to it. I've not ever had my husband go on and on about a celebrity but am sure he finds some attractive. I do think I'd be annoyed at him if he made a big deal out of one---- not so much because I took it seriously but because I think it would be a bit disrespectful to me.
Well, talk to him and see how that goes. good luck
Well, talk to him and see how that goes. good luck
I was searching for a document for school and ran into a letter he wrote to a media personality about an event at comic con, where, of course, Olivia Munn was. I 'd never seen him write like that, not even about me and it was shocking to say the least. I'm not at the point where I have a sense of humor about - yet, but I'm sure once I talk to him about it he'll understand. Marriage is tough! I do wanna say for the record that my husband and I went through a lull and I believe his mind wandered (w/Olivia Munn). We're in a much better place now but I did catch him recently looking at her website. Ugh.. It feels so weird talking about it but maybe it will be funny but right now it is just plain annoying.
Thank you, Lourdes. I will definitely mention how awkward it is. I see now that behavior like this was acceptable in our early 20's when we were dating (maybe) but now in our thirties and married it seems so immature and out of line. Whew... I though I was overreacting.
Thanks again.
Thanks again.
Hmmm.....sounds alot over the top for a 35 year old man; ridiculous.
Yes, I would definitely tell him, bring him back to the reality of things and tell him to "grow up."
Yes, I would definitely tell him, bring him back to the reality of things and tell him to "grow up."
COMMUNITY LEADER
Who is he writing these things to? Just curious. Well, it seems slightly immature, to be honest. I'm sure plenty of folks have celebrity crushes but don't exert energy googling them, talking about them to their guy friends, chasing them down at events they might be at---- but it also sounds harmless. I'd laugh about it with him. Hopefully he can laugh about it??? I also think that we can tell our partner of 9 years that they are being a little rude and to knock it off. good luck
My husband loves Olivia Munn and even goes to lengths to get her autograph at comic con. I've read some pervy things he's written about her and ogles her online. At first I was OK with it but now it is borderline annoying and somewhat juvenile. Please tell me if I'm overreacting. Should it bother me at this point? He's over 35 years-old and we've been together for almost nine years.
He is immature. It is really sad that women mature faster than guys (in most cases) and then we have all this emotional baggage about how their immature ways are hurting us.
It seems like he could be WANTING you to be jealous and that's why he makes such a big deal about liking them in front of you.
As previous commenters have said... there is no way he will ever be with Jessica Alba or Lindsay Lohan... and he has chosen to be with you. You state that he treats you well so... tune him out :-)
It seems like he could be WANTING you to be jealous and that's why he makes such a big deal about liking them in front of you.
As previous commenters have said... there is no way he will ever be with Jessica Alba or Lindsay Lohan... and he has chosen to be with you. You state that he treats you well so... tune him out :-)
Im just saying this coming from you understanding that if he brags way TOO much about a girl that makes you feel jealous i think you should probably...
break up
confront him
Im sorry but unfortunatley i cant think so thats all my advice
hope it works out
break up
confront him
Im sorry but unfortunatley i cant think so thats all my advice
hope it works out
COMMUNITY LEADER
I'm just wondering if you can "coach" him into handling himself better. My husband may get caught looking at a woman but he is so funny, he will then say "that sweater would look SO good on YOU!" Yeah right! LOL But I do so appreciate his effort. That is a way for him to say that I'm his girl and he was just looking.
So, I think that you can help him along to be better mannered about something that is quite natural. You can say to him---- "I get it! You love HER. But I love YOU. So how about you keep your love of her to yourself once in a while!!" Do it lightheartedly. Then say "in all seriousness, WE ALL think other people are attractive but it isn't nice to rub it into someone's face." Something like that in your own words. And see if he gets it.
good luck!
So, I think that you can help him along to be better mannered about something that is quite natural. You can say to him---- "I get it! You love HER. But I love YOU. So how about you keep your love of her to yourself once in a while!!" Do it lightheartedly. Then say "in all seriousness, WE ALL think other people are attractive but it isn't nice to rub it into someone's face." Something like that in your own words. And see if he gets it.
good luck!
Sounds like he is a younger guy that can be immature at times; typical. I don't see any reason to be "rubbing" the crush in anyone's face. On the other hand I think you are reading too much into this.
If he is willing to stand by you while you are dealing with this difficult medical situation then that speaks VOLUMES about him; HPV is a scary diagnosis.
If he is willing to stand by you while you are dealing with this difficult medical situation then that speaks VOLUMES about him; HPV is a scary diagnosis.
I would just say something along the lines of, "Honey that's nice, but I love you."
My husband has a thing for Scarlet Johanson. I have a thing for Johnny Galeki (sp). We both know that we don't have a shot with them. We even joke about what it would be like if we were to be with them.
There is a huge difference between reality, and fantasy. It took me a long time to learn that.
Maybe it would help if you told your boyfriend who your celebrity crush is.
My husband has a thing for Scarlet Johanson. I have a thing for Johnny Galeki (sp). We both know that we don't have a shot with them. We even joke about what it would be like if we were to be with them.
There is a huge difference between reality, and fantasy. It took me a long time to learn that.
Maybe it would help if you told your boyfriend who your celebrity crush is.
i don't believe he is a jerk though, he treats me with a lot of respect, im going through a lot of issues right now and he is always there by my side. i just found out i have hpv yesterday and hes been really supportive. its just this one thing that is bothering me. i forgot to add in that i also have major trust issues from my last relationship of cheating. and he has come a long way to help me get past that. its just this one thing that still bothers me, and i think its because i have trust issues. i know a lot of ppl have celebrity crushes, besides me cuz im weird.. but i just don't like how he rubs it in my face.
I didn't finish, I realized, vix, and now I'm going to finish.
People get the best house they can, and the best car, and they just biff it on getting the best partner.
There are SO MANY sweet guys out there who will treat you like a queen. Don't settle for a jerk you will divorce when you have a couple kids in grade school, because you just then realized what a jerk he is.
People get the best house they can, and the best car, and they just biff it on getting the best partner.
There are SO MANY sweet guys out there who will treat you like a queen. Don't settle for a jerk you will divorce when you have a couple kids in grade school, because you just then realized what a jerk he is.
vix, you're not being ridiculous, and I would break up with this jerk.
If you're planning on a life with a long marriage, and children, you want a man who is not an ahole. This guy is one.
If you're planning on a life with a long marriage, and children, you want a man who is not an ahole. This guy is one.
ahhh i know im being ridiculous :(. i guess its just the fact that he makes a big scene in front of me about how hot they are. i barely ever look at celebrity's or any other people and think they are hot, so i think that's why i have a hard time understanding. if i do, its rare and for a brief moment and i forget about them so fast. when im into someone, im like realllllly into them, and they become the most attractive person to me. i guess i just want that equality feeling, i want to feel like the most attractive person to him.
Your boyfriend has a crush on two celebrity women...that's not the worst thing in the world dear. All men have this have you never looked at a celebrity male and go "damn!" I have! I want to be Mrs Zac Efron! But its all just fun and laughter and you are the one he is with. He is not trying to diminish your personality. He tells you that you are perfect for him, he doesn't compare you to those women and say 'you should look more like that' or 'why couldn't I get a girl that good looking' I wouldn't get too wound up over it. Its not worth it.
His chances of ending up with one of them is PRETTY slim and I wouldn't date Zac Efron for real so I doubt your fiance would even take the chance. After all he knows and loves you, when he sees these women he sees...a woman. Just a plain woman who he is thinks is sexy. Do not compare yourself to anyone, celeb or not. You are you. I am sure there is someone out there those two women wish they looked like and if not cootos to them!
I was watching one of those interviews on E! about celebrity break ups, they were interviewing Angelina Jolie's ex husband and they asked him why did he cheat on her, she's hot (something like that). He said something like (and this is not his actual words its just BASICALLY what he's saying), dating a celeb sometimes is like eating the same thing every night it gets old! And she's Angelina FREAKING Jolie. LOL.
His chances of ending up with one of them is PRETTY slim and I wouldn't date Zac Efron for real so I doubt your fiance would even take the chance. After all he knows and loves you, when he sees these women he sees...a woman. Just a plain woman who he is thinks is sexy. Do not compare yourself to anyone, celeb or not. You are you. I am sure there is someone out there those two women wish they looked like and if not cootos to them!
I was watching one of those interviews on E! about celebrity break ups, they were interviewing Angelina Jolie's ex husband and they asked him why did he cheat on her, she's hot (something like that). He said something like (and this is not his actual words its just BASICALLY what he's saying), dating a celeb sometimes is like eating the same thing every night it gets old! And she's Angelina FREAKING Jolie. LOL.
My husband has some quiet celebrity crushes that he kids me about in a funny way - and they look like me. I don't look as good as they do, but in general, we are the same type. So I guess I've always thought it was funny and cute.
But he CERTAINLY doesn't say omg she's so hot. What he says is, "you look like ____". He likes the pink ranger, too, haha, and he says of course he does, she looks like me. (THAT'S a stretch!).
Vix, I think this would be a complete deal breaker for me. This guy is such a cad he has no idea what a jerk he's being, and you don't want to end up with a big huge insensitive jerk.
That's a miserable way to live. Find some guy who says you take his breath away.
But he CERTAINLY doesn't say omg she's so hot. What he says is, "you look like ____". He likes the pink ranger, too, haha, and he says of course he does, she looks like me. (THAT'S a stretch!).
Vix, I think this would be a complete deal breaker for me. This guy is such a cad he has no idea what a jerk he's being, and you don't want to end up with a big huge insensitive jerk.
That's a miserable way to live. Find some guy who says you take his breath away.
Why would you be jealous of women your bf will never be with or have? In reality, he is with you, correct?
It is not unusual for someone to have a celebrity crush. My husband's celebrity crush is Hallie Berry and I adore Bono from the music group U2. NO BIGGIE.
Do I compare myself to Hallie Berry? Nope. Am I jealous of her? Nope. Should I try to imitate her? Nope.
Hey, my husband enjoys looking at beautiful women and I don't see any crime in that. I like looking at good-looking men. No crime in looking.
I wouldn't make someone a threat that in reality will NEVER be with your bf.
A person secure in herself/himself aren't looking to be, look and act like someone less.
This issue would lie more with you and how you feel about yourself; not with him adoring Lindsay Lohan or Jessica Alba.
It is not unusual for someone to have a celebrity crush. My husband's celebrity crush is Hallie Berry and I adore Bono from the music group U2. NO BIGGIE.
Do I compare myself to Hallie Berry? Nope. Am I jealous of her? Nope. Should I try to imitate her? Nope.
Hey, my husband enjoys looking at beautiful women and I don't see any crime in that. I like looking at good-looking men. No crime in looking.
I wouldn't make someone a threat that in reality will NEVER be with your bf.
A person secure in herself/himself aren't looking to be, look and act like someone less.
This issue would lie more with you and how you feel about yourself; not with him adoring Lindsay Lohan or Jessica Alba.
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And then you are still a bit insecure about who you are. My husband has a few celebrities that he thinks are beautiful. Oh well. Who cares. My husband ain't no Brad Pitt or George Clooney either. Ya know? I mean I admire the outward appearance of various famous people but what does it mean in my real life? Nada. So, you need to look at it like that.
Now, I'm dating myself here but. . . I had a highschool boyfriend that loved Stevie Nicks. Oh . . . I loathed her!!! How dare she make my boyfriend want her more than me!! But I will say that I'm pretty sure that in all these years---- she and my old highschool boyfriend have not gotten together. Nope.
So, I think you need to keep this in perspective. Don't blow it out of proportion and make yourself feel bad over it.
And, I think all girls/women should make efforts to feel great about themselves. This includes having cool hobbies, doing well in school, working a fantastic job or training for one, exercising, having friends, taking care of themselves, etc. All of these things will help you say Jessica who? Lindsay what?
You could always talk with your boyfriend and tell him that everyone has these kinds of crushes including you but you just don't make a scene out of it to be polite to others. Maybe he could try that himself!
good luck