love triangle

[caughtupinlove1619]

I have known a guy for about 5yrs now and when we 1st met it was instant chemistry,we laughed and joked all the time like we had known each oda longer then that,he was a good guy and we had awkward moments cause we started developing feelings for each other. The only reason we hadn't pursued the relationship was cause I was engaged to be married and so was he!time went by and eventually I had lost all contact with him as I had moved jobs,4yrs down the line I meet him in a mall and he approaches me as I used to do promotions,we get talking and swop numbers and emails and from there we got talking he said his seperated from his wife she's cheated and happy days I been out of relationship for 2yrs so I tawt maybe this could be my guy after all we did have chemistry in the past and its still there!we hang out a lot and I eventually moved in with him we were good together until he realised his son is suffering without him and the only way he could make his son smile is to sacrifice his happiness with me:( so his son comes to him but so does the wife which is adamant they gona work the marriage out,she starts calling me and threatning me so much so I had to take it further to the police!she's extremely sly and if she doesn't get her way every1 suffers,she kept asking me to back off but I would and he would come back to me begging me to w8 till he sorts out his situation with her meaning gt rid of her but at the same time not ruin things for his son!we always hiding and seeing each oda be it in my flat or in a parking lot,I couldn't take anymore and I spoke up the oda night telling him how I really feel,it was awkward but we really bonded like really crying and all that I just feel so reassured now like we never fawt and like we not apart everything seems perfect even tho his with her and not me I no he doesn't love her and its his son his doing this for and like I sed to her the oda day she shudnt think everything is happy days coz he honestly sacrificed his happiness to c his son smile!she's doing everything under the son to kp him happy but clearly its not where he wants to be coz if it was he wudnt always be texting me and calling me not to mention spend nights with me telling me how much he loves me and can't just let go..he apologized for everything lastnight he sed he nos his hurting me and he wants to walk away but something holds him bk and he nos letting go is only gona hurt us both more!he only lft my flat at 5am he cried and told me to please be patient he loves me and soon all this will b over! So I asked him wat makes him think him and I wud work I mean there are plenty oda woman,he says I accept him for hu is and nobody understands hm like I have so far,he says he can't believe how much I love his son which to him was like the main thing wen he moved on...I just wish all this cud b over,the wife told him he doesn't love me his just lying to himself but according to her coz she told my mom this he sed to her I love nicole u no why coz I no she wud never betray me and I no no matter wat she will stand by even if I had nothing!!!

I need help!what should I do??

[specialmom]

Oh yes, in reading this again and your new post just a bit of time later--------  I do think you need to not date for a while.  good luck

[Kayannaboo]

Sorry about what you are going through but don't shoot me. I have seen so many scenarios where a man is married or in a relationship and then things are on the rocks and he gets involved with another woman and then for some reason or the other he needs to go back to the previous one.

I am going to tell you to back off, you may get hurt actually there is a good chance. Just because she cheated doesn't mean he doesn't love her and married couples have gone past cheating before and still be married. Its more than just the fact that he needs to be living with her for his son I am worried about for you its the fact that you do not know what he is doing with her. He can tell you anything but it does not have to be the truth. You owe it to yourself not to be sneaking around and getting harassed by this woman.  I would hate for him to come and say "umm Nicole I need to stay married to my wife for my son" even though it may very well be for himself too. And then you are all patient and get the bad end of the stick dear.

This woman is adamant that she will not just let go and I can't help but think that eventually he will give in, he married her so....

Take care of yourself dear I always tell people "If you cure your wound from early out, it will get better. But if you leave it open and have someone doing more harm to it, you will never heal." Back off now and save yourself some heartache, you broken heart from letting him go will heal in time. But keep him around while he's trying to "sort this through" may result in a greatly damaged heart.

[specialmom]

I agree with those who said to back away.  A child is owed this much.  His parents should make every attempt to work it out and he doesn't need any distractions in that.  

It is hard to not be selfish in these types of situations but it is in your best interest as well to step back.  If they do not make it down the road----  you will not be the "other" woman.  You can have an honest relationship that involves no drama.  As it stands now, any relationship with this man would be very difficult.  

So, do what is best for all concerned and take yourself out of the triangle completely.  good luck

[RockRose]

I think you should back away and let him be the kind of father he knows he can be,  and wants to be.

[Londres70]

Tell him to give you a call AFTER he sorts out his life.  He is in NO position to be establishing a new relationship with you at this time.  

His life is WAY too messy and dramatic at this time.

[Jaz1989]

New year WOW. If you love him speak up and tell him this situtation isnt working tell him to leave his wife finalize a divorce obviously shes a cheater so use that in the divorce filings and do visitation for the son