Aa
lyong boyfriend...
How do I deal with a lying boyfriend. How do i coop with it? Or how do I stop it? He always lies to me. About a lot. I can usually sense when he's doing it but I just want the truth. I'm 17 weeks pregnant with his child and we signed a 15 month lease together so its not like I can just leave. And plus I grew up with out a father and I dont want my baby to. What do I do?
In my opinion I say drop his sorry hide on the street(might be because I am heartless, no emotions, and no feelings) and find you a good man who can take care of and love you and your child. But with that lease I would go to church get saved and ask God to step into your life and to guide and direct you where you need to go. And to shut any door that needs to be shut and to open a door that you must go through. It is as they say "He'll close a door that no man can open, and he'll open a door that no man can go through."
P.S.I ride your question but I stopped reading your comment because it is super long sorry. And I only read the little comments. So I hope that I am not repeating anything. It's like 0726 Zulu. If I got my times right.
P.S.I ride your question but I stopped reading your comment because it is super long sorry. And I only read the little comments. So I hope that I am not repeating anything. It's like 0726 Zulu. If I got my times right.
Also, smoking weed with other workers Is bad enough as It sounds.. That's not good for you or the baby either. At least, make him pay for child support, and see his child once a week.
Yeah, I agree with Londres70 he doesn't sound like "father" material at all. The best decision would be to worry about the baby, and try to prepare and save up. It's sad that you didn't have a father figure in your life but in my own opinion it would be best If you find someone else that wouldn't mind taking care of your child with you, has a good relationship with you, and won't lie to you constantly. The cheating in the beginning of the relationship sounds like my boyfriend. I've been with him for 2 years and I think he's changed but I'm not sure what he does behind my back. You should trust your gut. If you're not so into what he does with all these girls than leave before you get anymore deep feelings. Good luck to you and the baby I hope to hear from you soon.
You've had good advice from others here. As for myself - I remain speechless - this seems like a no-brainer to me.
How to cope with it or stop it? WALK AWAY. Why would you want to subject yourself to all this (the humiliation and lying) and not to mention subjecting your child to such nonsense?
BTW: It is NEVER good to mix business with pleasure; dating someone that works in the same place as you. Now everyone at work probably knows all your personal business.
Sitting in the car while your bf is smoking marijuana with some girl from work......hmmmm........what are or were you thinking? You were more worried about him being alone with this girl than the welfare of your unborn baby. BTW: covering your nose and putting down the windows is NOT a guarantee you didn't inhale any of it.
LET SASHA (she sounds like she isn't to be trusted; a snake in the grass), ALICIA, the GIRL THAT HE "SMOKED" UP, ETC. HAVE HIM. He isn't even "father" material. Seems like all he is interested in is all the "hookups" he can find at work or wherever and all the marijuana he can get his hands on. He is NOT thinking about you let alone his child on the way. Basically, you are dealing with an immature, oversexed pothead.
Get rid of him and get rid of him QUICK. I would recommend getting your name off the lease somehow and move. I am not sure if you have ever sought therapy for your own issues. If you haven't, please do.
If you stay in this...hmmmmm......you MUST love drama.
Think LONG and HARD about what you are doing dear.
BTW: It is NEVER good to mix business with pleasure; dating someone that works in the same place as you. Now everyone at work probably knows all your personal business.
Sitting in the car while your bf is smoking marijuana with some girl from work......hmmmm........what are or were you thinking? You were more worried about him being alone with this girl than the welfare of your unborn baby. BTW: covering your nose and putting down the windows is NOT a guarantee you didn't inhale any of it.
LET SASHA (she sounds like she isn't to be trusted; a snake in the grass), ALICIA, the GIRL THAT HE "SMOKED" UP, ETC. HAVE HIM. He isn't even "father" material. Seems like all he is interested in is all the "hookups" he can find at work or wherever and all the marijuana he can get his hands on. He is NOT thinking about you let alone his child on the way. Basically, you are dealing with an immature, oversexed pothead.
Get rid of him and get rid of him QUICK. I would recommend getting your name off the lease somehow and move. I am not sure if you have ever sought therapy for your own issues. If you haven't, please do.
If you stay in this...hmmmmm......you MUST love drama.
Think LONG and HARD about what you are doing dear.
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there. Sorry this is a rough one dear. First, let me say that you really highlight why it isn't a great thing to work in the same place as your partner. Hopefully you all get some work done with all this BS going on in the work place. But that is besides the point.
Wow hon, you are in a real pickle. You are pregnant with a man that has a wandering eye or wants to cheat on you and lies about. And he obviously has a temper because when confronted about it he blows up rather than being horribly sorry. He causes drama in your life with your friends. And he's a weed smoker. Frankly, I think he jeopardizes your job by the antics at work. Ugh.
Being pregnant is a BIG deal. You are about to bring a child into the world that will need a loving home and much stability. Your current situation doesn't sound like either of those.
I will tell you that the lease doesn't worry me because that is just money and he'd have to sue you for it. He sounds like the kind of guy that would just get one or two of his stoner pals to move in with him to cover your rent anyway. BUT . . . a baby. That does worry me very much.
I really think you are going to have to put this baby above all else and move out. Sadly, sometimes we subconsiously try to 'fix' what hurt us in our childhood when we are an adult and end up reliving the exact same things over again. You picked a man with some serious issues to make a baby with and now very likely will have your own child with an absent father. He doesn't sound like he is building a nest for his family, does it? It sounds like he has no interest whatsoever in being a dad and a comitted partner. This makes me really sad because I know it isn't what you wanted for you or your child. When financially able, I think you really need to explore this with a therapist to understand the choices you make and how to make better ones in the future. That is how we break a pattern that negatively impacts our life.
There is no easy remedy and no way I can make this man into the person you'd like him to be. I know I mentioned adoption to you before and it is always an option. You have time to think about that. Raising a child is hard work and a lot rides on how you do it. But that is your decision and this is yoru life.
But it is clear that you probably should leave this guy and work on a peaceful home for your child. Maybe Sasha would like a roommate. I don't know. After the baby comes, you can work on paternity and gaining rights for your child that would have his/her father paying child support.
good luck. Like I said, this is a tough one. Peace.
Wow hon, you are in a real pickle. You are pregnant with a man that has a wandering eye or wants to cheat on you and lies about. And he obviously has a temper because when confronted about it he blows up rather than being horribly sorry. He causes drama in your life with your friends. And he's a weed smoker. Frankly, I think he jeopardizes your job by the antics at work. Ugh.
Being pregnant is a BIG deal. You are about to bring a child into the world that will need a loving home and much stability. Your current situation doesn't sound like either of those.
I will tell you that the lease doesn't worry me because that is just money and he'd have to sue you for it. He sounds like the kind of guy that would just get one or two of his stoner pals to move in with him to cover your rent anyway. BUT . . . a baby. That does worry me very much.
I really think you are going to have to put this baby above all else and move out. Sadly, sometimes we subconsiously try to 'fix' what hurt us in our childhood when we are an adult and end up reliving the exact same things over again. You picked a man with some serious issues to make a baby with and now very likely will have your own child with an absent father. He doesn't sound like he is building a nest for his family, does it? It sounds like he has no interest whatsoever in being a dad and a comitted partner. This makes me really sad because I know it isn't what you wanted for you or your child. When financially able, I think you really need to explore this with a therapist to understand the choices you make and how to make better ones in the future. That is how we break a pattern that negatively impacts our life.
There is no easy remedy and no way I can make this man into the person you'd like him to be. I know I mentioned adoption to you before and it is always an option. You have time to think about that. Raising a child is hard work and a lot rides on how you do it. But that is your decision and this is yoru life.
But it is clear that you probably should leave this guy and work on a peaceful home for your child. Maybe Sasha would like a roommate. I don't know. After the baby comes, you can work on paternity and gaining rights for your child that would have his/her father paying child support.
good luck. Like I said, this is a tough one. Peace.
Used to lie about EVERYTHING but he caught on to me catching him in his lies. But yet he still continues to lie about the big things. My main problem now is figuring out the truth, as is does he really want to be with me? He tells me all the time how much he loves me and wants to be with me and a good bit of the time at home he treats me good, like holds me and comforts me and makes me feel safe. But once we get to work, we work together, but in different areas. He acts different everyone there knows I'm pregnant and his girlfriend, but we both had this one girl friend "sasha" when I first became friends with her we were really close, not closer than me and him tho, but one day he got mad at me and went to work and told her that I was mad at her? Random, weird, and immature. So she got mad because she didn't understand why. Well that was two months ago or alittle more, just the other day I had some lady come up to me and tell me I should "watch my boyfriend" I was like, why? What haapeend now? She told me he's upstairs trying to "f*ck everything that has a slit between there legs." And that sasha thinks I hate her, but he has been trying to get her to hook him up with all these girls. I was just like oh. Thank you for telling me. And went and had a talk with him about it. Well he went balistic, like got in my face yelling that it wasn't true, and that if I was gonna believe everyone else over him then he doesn't want to be with me, he called me all these names and just flipped out. Well once we for home, of course I was crying my eyes out. He tried to hold me and apologize and make me believe that it wasn't true and that this lady and him got into a fight that day at work. Well I decided to just go with it. But the next day at work I was talking with my male friend and told him the situtation to see of I should believe it coming from a man's point of view, and he also knows my boyfriends past of lying to me and well cheating on me in the beginning of our relationship. And my friend just simply said, how do you know he's not lying to you to cover it up. Like before. And it did make me think, a lot. Like the hole time at work. Well we get off of work this was actually yesterday, and he brings this girl, very pretty girl. Over to my car and says "its her last day, so I want to smoke her up." Because he smokes weed, and so does she. Well I couldn't really say no because she was right there. Well I'm there when they are smoking but I cover my nose and make all the Windows be down because I'm pregnant. So I can see how this goes. And the hole time she's like I'm so was I'm leaving this *****, he's like I know :( I wish you wouldn't. And that was literally said like 5 times in the ten mins we were there. Now she does have a boyfriend who works there also so I was alittle confused. And after she left I tried talking to him like what was that about? And he just got cocky and said she's a friend it was her last day and so on. So once he went back into work and I went home. I just felt like I needed to call sasha and try and talk to her. So I did and me and her got everything straightened out about my Bf lying to her. And she has never once lied to me. Not once, so I asked her If he really tried getting her to hook him up. She chuckled and said oh man, yeah he asked me to hook him up with our old friend Alicia. And told sasha how he would "f*ck" her in a heartbeat and stuff. And that he was upstairs flirting with this new girl for two weeks until she got moved downstairs. But the girl had asked sasha if he had a gf and sasha was like uh, yeah and she's pregnant and works downstairs. And the girl was Just like wow. And that's all I heard. I have yet to confront him about everything I found out because I don't want a fight and I know he will flip out. I don't know how to approach him or to believe he really loves me and wants to be with me of he's gonna go behind my back and say and do that stuff still. Am I over reacting? Or what? I'm just so lost and confused.
Is he lying about everything? I am assuming he doesn't realize he has a problem. Did he just start lying or has he been lying from day 1?
How do you deal with a lying bf? Hmmm...........well, how can you have a relationship with someone who lies constantly? Well, there is NOTHING you can do to change this; he has to FIRST admit he has a problem lying and then SEEK professional help. If he can't do that..........only thing left is to tolerate it or leave. If you stay and he is NOT willing to get professional help, please consult a therapist for yourself to get a professional's opinion about this ESPECIALLY given your past history (absent father).
You have stated you grew up without a father, however, I don't think it is any better to have a lying father vs an absent father; both instances are just as heartbreaking. You must do what is best for you and above all for your child.
How do you deal with a lying bf? Hmmm...........well, how can you have a relationship with someone who lies constantly? Well, there is NOTHING you can do to change this; he has to FIRST admit he has a problem lying and then SEEK professional help. If he can't do that..........only thing left is to tolerate it or leave. If you stay and he is NOT willing to get professional help, please consult a therapist for yourself to get a professional's opinion about this ESPECIALLY given your past history (absent father).
You have stated you grew up without a father, however, I don't think it is any better to have a lying father vs an absent father; both instances are just as heartbreaking. You must do what is best for you and above all for your child.
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