marriage question

[ksanden]

how does purposeing work. is it something men should do or does it go both ways.
how long should you be with someone to purpose. how does any of this stuff goes , im clueless and wondering why its never happened to me. me and my bf has problems but who doesnt, we are working on the clinks in the relationship. my mom said that he most likely doesnt want to marry me because we have talked about it but never anything serious. we will have been together two years on the 10 of sept. i was thinking about getting a ring and asking him, but part of me feels like id be let down and i no that it would hurt so i dont no what to do. i need advice. if anyone wanting to no my age im 22, and have 2 kids.
ksanden

[mayflowers]

The guy usually does the asking.  In most cases, the couple has been talking abt marriage, and then they go look at rings together, pick out a style/size diamond the girl would like, then the  guy goes back and buys the ring when the girl isn't around, then he plans something special as to how he is going to propose.  

If your guy hasn't taking you ring shopping yet, or said anything about planning a life with you - job, house, # of kids - I would say he's probably not thinking serious abt marriage right now.

[BearHitch]

I agree with the above poster.  Plus, if it is your desire to have him propose, don't pursue him- proposing to him isn't as romantic, and plus- you aren't even sure he wants to marry you.  If he said yes, you may always wonder if he actually wanted to.  

[RockRose]

I think buying yourself a ring and going through a romantic proposal is completely the wrong way to go.  That's the guy's job,  and there's a reason it's the guy's job - he has to really really want it,  or the marriage will fail.

I think it would be fine to have a frank discussion with him,  and say the goal of dating for you,  is to find a husband.  If he doesn't have the same goal of getting married,  or doesn't want to marry you in particular,  you need to be free to move on with your life.  

Then see what his next move is.

Best wishes.

[bedtimestory]

I agree with RockRose. It is up to the man to ask his girl to marry him. Men are usually less imature than women. Therefore he has to decide whether he wants to spend his life committed to you or no. I have read so many posts similar to this one it's not even funny. Us girls think of marriage and lifetime commitment even before they START thinking of maybe buying a ring.

Do not propose to him. Let him be the one who does it and you'll know he really wants it. If you push him he might get the wrong message, think you're trying too hard, feel he has no choice but to agree with you and accept your proposal. As a consequence, he would not be accepting you as a wife from the bottom of his heart, which is, after all, what you want, right? The above posters said it best. I think you should follow these advices. Good luck.

[ksanden]

just wanted to say thank you for everything..
ksanden