marriage..

[sweetpea03]

What is a good age to get married(what age did you get married)? How long should someone date before getting married(how long did you date before getting married)?

[penswriter]

Dh and I have known each other since we were 6. Started dating when we were 20. Engaged 2 years later at 22. Married at 23. We're at about 2 1/2 years married.

Is it rough? Sure. Do we fight? Who doesn't? Are we in love? Most days. (lol yeah there are some days when we just don't like each other but still..."love" each other) Does it work for us? Yup. Will we get divorced? Don't plan on it. Do we have kids? Yup, 2 year old twins.

[sweetpea03]

We've been really realistic about it, knowing we need to be more financially set before getting married. Both of us have been putting away money, saving up. He's getting promoted soon to a higher paying job. I've been working hard in school, and keeping my scholarship. I can take care of myself, always been very independent. I just love the idea of always having him in my life. He's so supportive and loving, and I want to wake up next to him every morning. I have told him I won't move in with him unless we're married, I want that to be part of the excitement of getting married. I didn't want to be like his sister who lives with her boyfriend, has a family with him, living there with him, and is basically no where near marriage. And there is no reason for him to marry her, as he already basically has it all. I would never do that myself, I am pretty old fashion. I love my boyfriend beyond words can express, he's been my rock. It's just that I think sometimes maybe my friends are right, I am too young. Though I have never felt my own age. I see getting married as forever, not lets see if it'll work and then bail later.

[Ashelen]

I met my husband at 17...we became engaged 2wks later in private, and announced it after we had been together for 2 months when he bought me a ring...we were engaged for 4 1/2 years before getting married, and have been married 3 years. I was married at the age of 22. all-in-all we've been together about 8 years.

I'm glad we stayed engaged as long as we did before marrying because we got a LOT of problems out of our systems....and I was able to finish most of college and my degree before I left for other reasons. We conceived our first child a month after our wedding and she will be 2 next month, and our second child just turned one month old.....I wouldn't change how we've done anything in our marriage, either :).

oh to mention..we lived together for almost our entire engagement as well (he snuck into the dorms when I lived there in college, lol...it was quite romantic) and even though I'm VERY traditional and normally wouldn't have agreed, I'm so glad we did because we already knew how to live together and survive by the time we tied the knot.

[lovemykids465]

I had turned 20 two weeks before our wedding. We dated for 20 months before we married. Some say this was to young but we got to grow together and I would not change a thing!

[imanaddict]

My first husband and I were together 6 years before we got married. I was 23 and he was 24. Marriage didn't seem to work for us and a year later it was over. I met my current husband about a year and a half after my divorce. Within 6 weeks he proposed and after 5 months of dating, we were married. We are about to celebrate our 7th wedding anniversary and I still cannot imagine being with anyone else. I knew it was different with him than my first husband. I just had that feeling that he was the one. When you know, you know! My brother met and married his wife within 2 weeks and 25 years later, they are still together and happy. Now, I'm not saying this works for everyone because it doesn't. And I'm not saying that none of us don't have any problems because we do. If someone truly opens their heart to you and vice versa, you've definitely got a shot at it though. Good luck!!

[el_em_en_oh]

Crap... that reminds me, I need to make a dinner reservation for Friday night!!!

[el_em_en_oh]

My wife and I met in February of 2005, moved in together in April of 2005, and were married by August of 2005. 2 days from now, we'll have 5 years under our belt. Happy 5th Anniversary to us!

Ideal? No. Does it work? Yes. Do we have our problems? Yes. Does it work for US? Yes.

All I can say is that you must follow your heart and do what it says, right, wrong, or indifferent.

Most people will tell you to wait, wait, wait. Obviously, your chances increase the more you get to know someone, but sometimes "you just know".

Not sure what else I can say...

[AHP84]

Oh, and I was two months shy of 25 years old when I got married last year. My husband was 26. ☺

[AHP84]

I almost got married around the age of 20, which would've been the worst mistake of my life and I'd probably be divorced by now. That relationship was my first with everything and began in highschool when we were 14 and was off and on until we were 22, and I got pregnant at 19, hence the reason we felt pressured to get married...from his side of the family, anyway. My side of the family and friendds couldn't stand him and thank God they eventually talked me out of that abusive relationship.

I got my life together between the ages of 21-23; graduated college with a BA and began a career shortly after. I was 22 when I bought my first house. I was raising my son as a single mom completely on my own, as his father moved 1500 miles away and has fallen into the deadbeat dad category more or less.

I was 23 when I met my husband. He was (and still is) a college student and we worked for the same company, so that's where we met. We dated for two years and he proposed to me last summer (and we had just found out I was pregnant two weeks earlier) and we got married two months after he proposed. We'll be celebrating our first anniversary together in 2½ weeks! It's been an absolutely wonderful first year together, too!

I agree with teko and specialmom about becoming an independent person first before considering marriage. Knowing you can do anything you need to do on your own is very important to discovering who you really are and what you expect out of life and from other people. I never would have experienced the full extent of that if I'd jumped into a marriage the first chance I had, and I would've been miserable.

[specialmom]

Ah.  I was 34!  I'd say that somewhere between 28 and 30 is an ideal age to get married.  I always want a woman to have moved from her parents and to her own place before moving in with a man.  I think every woman needs to know that she can be self sufficient without anyone's help just as Teko says.  The stages of life are dependence (as in a child with your parents), to independence (doing it all for yourself) to interdependence (when you commit in a mutual relationship to another).   So, I'd make sure you are all set with your education and career before marriage.  It gives you two legs to stand on for the rest of your life.  

My husband and I dated for 2 years and then became engaged.  We married a year later.  So 3 years total before that walk down the aisle.  We never lived together beforehand.  

good luck

[teko]

I was sixteen. Looking back, way too young. As far as how old when you get married? I dont think age is a factor. I think when you are able to take care of you financially and not depend on another person to fill those needs and when you meet someone that has the same hopes and dreams that you do in life and are ambitious enough to walk that dream beside you and together you make it happen. When you think more about how to make that person happy, rather than what they can do for you. This is unselfish love. I think it takes all this for a successful long term working, lasting marriage. And it takes time to be able to see if your love interest has all these traits, and you too. :)

[kay2486]

me and my boyf have been together for just over 6 years and got engaged last year, thing is he never answers questions i ask like "do you think we'll ever get married"? he replied "i dunno, whats the point? its a waste of money for one day" so i said "whats the pissing point in getting engaged if you dont want get married"?

how do i take that? thats one thing i want and its to get married one day

after that conversation i dont bother talking about weddings, but i thought the whole idea of getting engaged was to get married one day?

i must live on another planet :)

[amberette]

My husband and I met when he was 17 and I was 20. We dated for 7 months before he proposed. He was 18 by this time. When we actually got married, we had been together for 16 months. He was 18 and I was 21. We have been happily married for 6 years.
However, it doesn't always work out like that. You need to be completely positive about it. You also need to know that it isn't always a happily ever after. You have to be willing to stick it out during the bad times, and work through it together. Marriage is a life long commitment that should be taken seriously.
Good Luck

[sweetpea03]

Oh, wow, 4 months is short, but I'm glad it's all worked out for you.

I've been with my boyfriend for 9 months, and we've been talking about getting married. He wants to propose at the end of this year, and then we'd wait about a year and a half or 2 years to get married. I'll be 21 in November, and he's 31. I've been really excited about it all, though some friends say I'm too young and I'll be making a mistake. I don't think I will be, as it has all been pretty well thought through. I don't at all expect it to be simple and easy, relationships never are. I'm curious what others have done and what they think.

[shishka]

I got married when I was 26. we dated only for 4 month before we got engaged. Been happily married for 7 years.