Im glad you worked it out. Best of luck and I wish you many more romantic and fun sexcapades ;)
sabby good advice as well, i have done all those things and they never worked either, i would never bring up sex for over a month and always massage her and what not. the problem is actually over. we talked about it one night and she admitted that she was feeling unattractive becuz she has put on some weight and did not ever feel sexy or comfortable naked.
our sex life is back on track and romantic, fun, and everything.
i agree with rock rose. not soo much fun for your fiancee either. It probably bothers her too and rock rose explained it best. As a women, i know that when you put too much pressure on the sex thing it makes the women less likely to have sex because of the libido problem along with the stress making it way worse.
Try giving massages and doing things like this without trying to get sex out of it. The problem if you put too much pressure, anything that would potentially lead to sex, she will avoid. So remove the expectations and overtime, it will come back. Men have problems with patience, so my best advice is to be patient, romantic, caring and thoughtful without sexual gain. The rest will come naturally.
i think RockRose has the best answer I did not mean to select special mom
I agree with sweetpea and Specialmom's thoughts.
In the meanwhile, I have another thought also. I've had times (usually due to birth control pills, but also after having babies) where I had zero libido. It's really hard on a relationship. In the interim while you're trying to figure out what's happened here, I'd recommend sticking to quickies. I know this isn't what you want, but in the interim, you'll get a lot more sex since she really doesn't want it, if she knows it's going to be quick and you're not going to try to make her pretend she's enjoying it.
For her at this point, it's a bit like mowing the lawn. I'm really very willing to do it, because the lawn needs to be mowed, but please don't make it last any longer than necessary or make me act like it's a pleasure, and don't talk to me later about why I don't enjoy mowing the lawn. It makes a task she's probably minimally willing to do kind of unbearable.
The thing is, she loves you. Who knows why women's libido switches on and off, it might be thyroid for her or something else, but from my perspective, I'm telling you it's awful when it happens. She probably spends a lot of her day trying not to turn you on. If you would just make it easier on her by being quick, this might blow over.
If not, then I agree with specialmom. It sounds like you're facing a future with a woman who doesn't enjoy sex. Although with me, and other women, sometimes it quickly does come back.
Best wishes.
she is on no medication or birth control
Is she on any type of medication? birth control?
I'm going to be honest with you. Think long and hard if you can live like this or if you would want to. While there may be something going on to cause this low sex drive that can be rectified ---------- that she doesn't see it as a problem to lose the intimacy with you she once had is a super big red flag. It really should bother her too. That leads me to believe that it isn't getting better any time soon and could become a life long pattern with the two of you. Could you or would you want to live like that with your spouse?
Don't answer here but do some serious introspective thinking. What happens in dating is we meet someone and at different points we evaluate them and the relationship to see if it should go further. This may not be the wife you always dreamed of. Better to get out now than after the wedding. I'm sorry to say that as I'm sure you want this to work out. But this is a pretty big compatibility issue and her attitude is worrisome. good luck