my girlfriend won`t try having sex with me

[anonym96]

My girlfriend is 20 and I am 19 and we have been together for almost 2 years and we live in 2 different countries and when I ask her if we could try and see what it is like ( both virgins ) she says yes, but closer to the time when I am gonna fly out to her she keeps changing her mind and say she dosen`t feel ready, what should I do? cause I really wanna try and spice things up and try out new stuff in bed, not only dry humping and cuddling. I feel like we should try it out

[Londres70]

Have you two met in person at all or is this an internet relationship?  Are you planning on have a long term relationship with her?  Are you planning on moving to her country or viseversa?

Say you two did get sexually involved.  What then?  You two live in two different countries, so that would make things more complicated.  

If she isn't ready, then that's that.  Don't pressure her.  Maybe she feels the relationship isn't that stable enough to be throwing sex into the mix.  She doesn't feel it's time to loose her virginity and you should respect that.

Maybe instead of hyping up the sex talks before flying out to see her (which is probably freaking her out and making her feel pressured) why not just tell her that you can't wait to see her and spend time with her WITHOUT mentioning sex?  If all you are chatting about is sex before visiting her then that could make her feel that all you care about is being sexual with her.

[Chima7]

I might be misunderstanding your post, but it looks like you're asking how to talk her into doing something that she doesn't want to do. If she says she is not ready then she is not ready. You need to accept that instead of looking for ways to try to trick her or force her into doing something she doesn't want to do.  A large part of being a loving partner is respecting the other person's wishes and does not include making demands of the person that they are not comfortable with doing.

[specialmom]

This is an important step if she'd like to remain a virgin before marriage.  If you intend on marrying her, give her the gift of waiting.  good luck

[Nighthawk61]

It sounds like it might be "normal" to her to not have sex until she is married. Is that right?

[RockRose]

Have you ever met her in person?