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need advice

Ok so I have been with my boyfriend off and on for two years. He left me in December of 2011 when I was two months pregnant. Married another woman...left her and got with someone else then got back with me in may when our daughter was born. He has been my bestfriend for over ten years. But I can't do anything without being followed or asked what I'm doing. I'm a mother of four and I also have panic disorder so his actions just add to my anxiety. If I text get a text or even pick up my phone I get asked who's that or what are they saying. And I mean everytime. I can't even go to the bathrrom without him behind me. I've told him it needs to stop but he says your my girl I have the right. I don't know what to do. I'm on the verdge of saying forget it........why would he be acting this way
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Avatar_m_tn
I understand you not wanting to hurt your kids by him leaving.  I get that... but what about hurting them by him staying?  There has to be some kind of happy medium, one would think.  But where?

Part of that lies in the fact that he has some serious changes that he will have to make.  Personally, from personal experience... his paranoia regarding you receiving texts or you sending texts probably comes from him doing something less than "kosher".  

Honestly, the key to healthier kids starts with a healthier you.  How you go about that is your own business, but if he is going to stay and be involved in your kids life, he too will have to make some concessions.  Being a couple, married or not, is all about making concessions, being able to communicate, and being able to do what it will take in order to keep everything going in the right direction.

It is NOT easy.  It's not meant to be. Being a couple in a committed relationship is a heck of a lot of hard work.

Are you seeing a professional regarding your panic disorder?  Are you doing anything regarding this panic disorder?  Some relief might start there.  Arming yourself with as much knowledge about your disorder can probably prove to be most beneficial.  Him supporting this could be beneficial as well and may lead to him addressing his issues as well.,
3 Comments Post a Comment
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13167_tn?1327197724
Do you have an older female relative you can go live with with all your children?  A grandmother,  aunt,  older sister?  (My guess is if your mother was in your life you'd be there with her or she would be helping you somehow,  is why I don't mention her).

This is really awful,  cmoney,  and can't continue this way.  I don't know if you have custody of all four of your children or where they are exactly,  but your life right now is a complete mess.

Can you find an older woman in your family to help you?
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4170713_tn?1350582710
My mother is around but she has heart problems so I don't like stressing her. I have all four of my babies. I do have my own place and him and I live together.  I've been thinking about asking him to leave if he can't change but I don't want my kids to be hurt by him leaving
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Avatar_m_tn
I understand you not wanting to hurt your kids by him leaving.  I get that... but what about hurting them by him staying?  There has to be some kind of happy medium, one would think.  But where?

Part of that lies in the fact that he has some serious changes that he will have to make.  Personally, from personal experience... his paranoia regarding you receiving texts or you sending texts probably comes from him doing something less than "kosher".  

Honestly, the key to healthier kids starts with a healthier you.  How you go about that is your own business, but if he is going to stay and be involved in your kids life, he too will have to make some concessions.  Being a couple, married or not, is all about making concessions, being able to communicate, and being able to do what it will take in order to keep everything going in the right direction.

It is NOT easy.  It's not meant to be. Being a couple in a committed relationship is a heck of a lot of hard work.

Are you seeing a professional regarding your panic disorder?  Are you doing anything regarding this panic disorder?  Some relief might start there.  Arming yourself with as much knowledge about your disorder can probably prove to be most beneficial.  Him supporting this could be beneficial as well and may lead to him addressing his issues as well.,
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