nervous....need advice

Ok so I'm 20 years old and pathetically have my first boyfriend now. We've known each other since summer of 05 and we just started dating in August. I've liked him since the end of 05 and now that we're dating I feel really compelled to say I love you. Is it too soon considering we've only been dating a month? Also he's said in the past he's not big on relationships or the love thing since his parent's started having problems. Should I wait and see if he says it first? Someone please help me! I'm starting to think about this so much I'm honestly getting scared to even be in the relationship.

[bip]

I know its easy said than done Im sure you like him alot but I would wait along time before you tell him you LOVE him. Its a strong word. I been there before.Wait a while and see if this is the right one for you. I dont want to see you get hurt.   See if he tell you he loves you. Think before you say it.  Ask yourself quiestions.  Is this the guy for me?  Does he want a  commited relationship? You answers that quiestion hes not big on relationship........My opinion is I would wait until he tells you.  Dont rush......

Best wishes.....

[laura1977]

There is a big difference between love and lust.  Do I believe that you can think you love someone after dating a month, yes.  Do I believe that you love him, maybe not.  Love isn't just caring about a person, love is being with someone for awhile and even though the bad times can be bad and the good times can be great, you still love the person you are with.  The first time I knew for sure that I loved my husband when we were dating was when I got a call that he wrecked him motorized dirt bike on a road, and broke his arm.  Get this, he lived about 25 minutes from me, and this happened up by his parents house, he didn't call his mom and dad to take him to the hospital he called me first.  I dropped everything a raced up there to pick him up and take him to the hospital.  I knew right then and there that I wanted to marry this man, and that was 8 years ago, and we are now going on our 7 year anniversery in April.  If I asked a month into dating him that I loved him I would have said yes I do, but looking back it was more of the lust side then the love side.  Does that make sense?  So, do not tell your boyfriend this word after only a month, and expecially since he seems to have relationship issues do to his parents.  Some guys will get scaired and run!
This is your first boyfriend so that can even make your feelings feel like they are stronger, but it can also make the hurt hurt worse.  Careful and take care.

[bedtimestory]

Funny! I was in a relationship where I was the one who actually heard those words (I LOVE YOU) two weeks after the relation started. I broke up with him. Perhaps I was too drastic. However, I felt that he was lying to me at just two weeks after we kicked it off with our affair. Then I said to myself: If he is lying to me so soon then what can I expect in the future? more lies? hell no!! and so we broke up.

Two weeks is too soon to feel love and so is a month. You may feel excited to be with him. You may also feel butterflies in your stomach and all the good feelings you get when you start a relationship with a guy you REALLY REALLY like. Now, this does not mean you love him, dear. Love can be very difficult to explain because it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action and sweetie I do not think you and your boyfriend have shared, done, been through those things which make you realize you love him for a month is too short of a time.

So take it easy and take your time. Sometimes the light and heat of a new relationship is so strong it blinds you and interferes with your senses and confuses you in a way that you might think you absolutely love him. After a while everything settles down and you can see things more clearly and better. Give yourself the time to differentiate between passionate burning flame and love.

My advice to you is enjoy the state that you are in right now, every minute of it and don't worry about more complicated things. A lasting relationship is complicated enough and if you get to that point you'll see what I mean. So don't think too much now but enjoy and relax. The love part will fall by itself between the two of you.....don't rush it.

Good luck

[slow_healer]

"Two weeks is too soon to feel love and so is a month. You may feel excited to be with him. You may also feel butterflies in your stomach and all the good feelings you get when you start a relationship with a guy you REALLY REALLY like. Now, this does not mean you love him, dear. Love can be very difficult to explain because it has no meaning. Love has to be put into action and sweetie I do not think you and your boyfriend have shared, done, been through those things which make you realize you love him for a month is too short of a time."

Nicely said! :)

[bedtimestory]

Well thank you  :)

[RawnieGurl]

That's what alot of my friends have said too. On the other side though we've liked each other for almost 2 years and we have been through alot of ups and downs. However I do think I'm going to hold off on it simply because I don't want to scare him away and I don't know if I am ready to commit myself to love just yet. Thanks for all your input!!! It means alot that you took time to read and respond to a silly girl like me.

[laura1977]

Your not silly, you are a young female that has her first real boyfriend.  That is something that will forever stay in your heart, even if things don't work.  No one forgets their first true love.  Ahhh how sweet.  :)

[RawnieGurl]

I just wanted to let you guys know that we both made that jump and said i love you last night. It wasn't really how i wanted it to happen because we were fighting but it got said and it wasn't bad. Thanks for taking time to read this. It really means alot!!