new boy friend want a guys perspective

my boyfriend says well to be quite honest about it he said that i would look better with breast implants i have a small b cup size and i think i look fine, but i'm curious as to why a guy would say something like that

also he has hinted that he would like me to shave my vaginal area and i'm wondering what differance if any that would make

[sk2006a]

i know you said you wanted a guy's perspective, but i have a question for you:  why do you want to be with someone who wants to change you?  please don't do anything which can affect your future health to please someone else!

[chellybeans]

if you think you look fine then stay the way you are. if he wants implants to fondle he can go get some.

i am so tired of women giving up their identity to please a man. and this one is JUST your boyfriend.

please, only do these things if you are having self image issues which it sounds like you are not.

with every surgery there are risks, with implants they can be rock hard, rupture, damage your milk ducts so you can't breast feed ever and worse yet, create an infection in your breast. there is alot of risks, and yes, the surgery is very common and many women have the procedure fine, but there are always going to be chances.

i would not take them unless you are sure it's what YOU want.

as far as shaving...everyone likes a different style of hair there. i have heard from male friends that they like that area to be smooth so there is no friction or prickly hair during intercourse. or simply aesthetic reasons.to each his own

[POONANI]

breast implants are a no-no, my dear. the risks far outweigh the benefits. i agree with the other posters.
natural is always sexy, it ain't about the size, it's always been about how you carry yourself.

about the shaving, hurrah!!! shaved is cool and creative, breaks the monotony. both of you should get shaved.

if he insists on the breast thing, tell him to go watch some porn and relieve himself of his fantasies. it ain't worth it if he can't appreciate you for what you have.

GOOD LUCK

[slow_healer]

If breasts are what's important to your BF then he needs to address that - not you. Part of a healthy relationship is unconditional love and support (right?). Asking you to undergo major surgery to physically alter your body (when there's nothing wrong with it to begin with) is asking A LOT. As already discussed, what happens if there are complications? What if the relationship doesn't work out and you are left with these large, uncomfortable silicon packs? Would you ask him to undergo penis enlargement surgery? Would you place that kind of standard on him?

Once I had a guy tell me to cut my hair. That relationship ended in a hurry. I'm not a fan of manipulative, controlling behavior like that.

As far as shaving goes, that's also up to you. Sometimes it's nice because it feels cleaner for both partners (and is better for clitoral stimulation in some positions). You can also trim as less menial and complicated alternative. But generally I think men who ask women to do that are perverts because it looks like a little girl's. I've been pleased to hear my guys friends comment that there should be hair down there - they're men, and they want to be with women - not little girls. Sounds like your partner is very superficial. How much are you sacrificing to please him? Is he sacrificing the same to please you?

[RockRose]

Slow - healer -  actually,  unconditional love in the dating process is a sign of a very sick relationship.  

During dating,  you give conditional love and approval.  If the person is persistently doing something you don't agree with,  or even don't prefer (like swimming instead of hiking) you are free to go.

Unconditional love is between parents and children,  or adults and invalids (like aging parents) who are incapable of recriprocal relationships.

The rest of what you said I agree with.

[skelebor]

forgive me for saying this, but your BF is acting neanderthal...unfortunately, there are still a lot of them nowadays.

If his concept of your relationship and his love for you is directly proportional to your bra size or the lushness (or lack thereof) of your loins, and he shows no signs of ever changing this way of thinking, you have a lot to think about.  What about him, I guess he's not an Adonis himself, is he?Do you bug him about his not-so-perfect traits?

A relationship based more on looks and physical traits is not one for the long haul. If a loving, caring, and healthy one is what you are looking for, maybe you could try making it clear to him that your boobs and everything else suits you just fine.

[slow_healer]

Whether unconditional is the word or not, when you choose to accept someone in to your life it should be without superficial judgement like that. I certainly don't look at my partner when he takes off his shirt and tell him to wax his back or get moles removed or anything like that. Why the heck do people get so hung up on looks??

[skelebor]

i guess its a lot of things that influence us..society mainly, the way we were brought up thinking what's beautiful or not, different forms of media, etc...not that everything in society proposes this superficial approach..but I guess most factors make a fuss on looks..there's a certain survey that says a very large percentage of good-looking individuals tend to find better-paying jobs or tend to be more successful in their careers..

on the other hand, neandertals did not grow up with all this preconceived **** about looks...i bet most nean guys thought they were elvis and every nean gal thought sharon stone when they were giving in to the most basic of instincts..

[RockRose]

The thing is,  guys are visual,  much more so than women.  That's why men's pornography is pictures,  and women's porno is the written word.    Men almost always have a strong preference for an appearance type of woman.

If he likes breasts that are bigger than yours,  he's not for you.  There are a LOT of guys who like small breasted/slender women.  

I think you should find one of them.  For a man you are only dating to suggest surgery,  is a bit presumptuous on his part.

Maybe you should tell him you like guys who are taller than he is,  and see what he does with that.  ;D

[skelebor]

in between his suggestions of a breast job and shaving down there..does he remember to say something nice to you once in awhile?

[PlateletGal]

Why change yourself and go through a painful surgery because of ONE boyfriend in your life ? And please don't let this ONE guy's opinion give you a complex.

[BABYGIRL2006]

Then people will be teasing you about having fake boobs anit nothing wrong with a b cup I wish i had a b cup carring these suckers around are murder

[curious mi]

thank you all so much and no its not just him that has made comments about my breast being small, several boyfriends have commented on it along with another male figure in my life (this one is a jerk and i don't associate with him anymore) but it looks like i'm not going to be with this guy anylonger anyway

you have all shown me (along with some of my friends here) that he's not good enough for me and that if he cant love me for who i am then he's never going to truly love me I plan on talking to him about next time i see him and hopefuly we'll be able to have a civilized conversation and if i don't like whats going on in his head then he's gone

[kris123]

Breast implant are not dangerous - I've had mine for a mine - no problems not one - there is nothing wrong with a woman wanting to get implants.  I was a 36A and i got mine to make myself feel better and fit into clothes.  I love them and you can't even tell they are implants.  To top it of I'm preggo and still no problems.  i say get them if you want them.  i would do it all over again.

[kris123]

About 98% of women who have breat implants can breast feed.  

[SeriousSam]

If you are actually curious about implants do like my sister did and get one of the silicone augmentative bras first and see if thats the image you prefer.  Personally I think they are bad ideas in most cases, particularly if you get them for someone else.

However shaving can be hygienic particularly if he is expected to perform oral sex.

[SeriousSam]

LOL on my most things I agree with you Teko, but if a woman wants a guy to do spontaneous oral sex then at least trim the shrubbery around the eating area!!  to many moistures can gather in the hair to be entirely appetizing!

Quite honestly if their is an "off" scent I have to say that is usually where it comes from.  However the converse is true that if you ask a lady to do that then if she asks something similar out of humor or actual desire you don't have a leg to stand on.

[Soonerman]

Funny how she wanted a guy's perspective and mostly women respond.  Here you go...most guys like big boobs.  So you should be open to his communication of his preferences to you; otherwise he will feel like he has to hide his preferences/wants/needs and will look elsewhere.

[Crystlas]

What a jerk.  Why waste your time with someone that does not love you for you.  A nice guy would not try to change you, but love you for whatever flaws, he thinks you have, and all.  I have horrible vericose veins.  My fiance told me that it makes my legs ugly, because I asked him to be honest.  I thought they were ugly before asking him.  I told him I was going to have them removed and he said, if it improves your health do for it, but I love you either way!  I went to have them checked and found out it is not a health issue at all so I am loved with vericose veins and all.  I did not have them removed, because it will not hurt me and I can save the money for more important things, which I am living off of right now!  Also, a neighbor, I had growing up, got breast implants because her abusive husband, which I found out about later, insisted she get them.  They burst, she got very sick and he left her because her boobs were not perky enough.  He was screwing around on her too.  It wrecked her life.  I feel so bad for that lady.  Find a nice fellow, you deserve it!