not maintaining erection

[lullabloom]

hi,

my boyfriend and I have attempted to have sex several times but every time we get close to the actual intercourse he loses his erection. At first it was only after we'd put on a condom. As this continued and he already felt like a loser, it now goes down whenever we get anywhere near there.
Oral sex is fine. He enjoys it and is hard but it takes him quite a while to ejaculate.
Handjobs don't do anything when he's with me. He says though when he does it himself it still works and pretty quickly.

Naturally, adding up to whatever caused this in the first place he is now also under a lot of pressure and I think he's already given up. We can talk about everything comfortably, make our jokes, we discuss what we like and dislike...he can't have performance anxiety. He says he doesn't.

Does anyone have any experiences with the effects of anti-depressants? He has been on and off medication for long periods each and I didn't see any difference. I know that some medication can make you less sensitive but then again he had the same problem when he was still without medication.

Hoping for some advice.

[otot_mu_bahu]

y don't you poke his ass and try to touch the prostate thing.  let's see if he doesn't get an erection... then, hump him up.  

[lullabloom]

Of course there's always the chance (or risk) that he's sexually more interested in someone else, be it man or woman.
But since we talked about this and he assured me he's very much attracted to me and wishes it would work for both of us, I can safely say it is not the case.

[mugg]

Hi,
I dont think for an instant that all those men out there that are unable at some stage in their lives may find it difficult to maintain an erection, could possibly be gay...

There are many reasons as to why he may be experiencing this problem, medication can certainly play a part in it, but stress is one of the main factors.  Is he stressed at work or overtired etc or maybe have something worrying him, apart from this of course.
Try not to worry too much about it and if it becomes unbearable try and visit the doctor and see what they say, afterall we can all have our own input on this forum, but best to ask those that are more likely to be able to give you some sound advice.
He may feel a failure, but im sure it is a great help knowing that you are supporting him.
good luck in finding the reason.

[mugg]

hi
sorry if i have offended you, my comment was not meant to.
Your comment was well worth mentioning, and maybe i should of worded my comment better so as you did not think i was attacking you. sorry.

[RockRose]

I don't think every guy with difficulty maintain erections is gay either,  mugg.

I have a good friend whose fiance was just like this - had difficulty with erections,  but could maintain an erection with oral,  although it took a long time.    He finally got the courage to stand up to his family,  and announce he was gay and broke off the engagement - he was engaged just to hide his homosexuality.

It's a thought,  and I thought it was worth mentioning.  Which doesn't mean that it's true,  it just is worth mentioning.

[RockRose]

Is there any chance he is gay?    

Don't answer too quickly.