Aa
not sure how long my marriage will last.
Today was the day I was going to have my graduation ceremony and I was really excited. But ended up not going because my husband got mad at me for calling him stupid and acreaming at him. I was mad and called him stupid because he wasn't helping me out with our baby and was sitting down playing his instrument and he knew I was supposed to be at the location 2hrs earlier than him. So when I saw that he was nonchalant about the matter I yelled at him and called him stupid, then he left our apartment and told me that I could go without him cause he wasnt going to go. I felt soo unsupported and really upset and cried because the one I thought was going to be there ditched me. This makes me think that maybe he just settled with me and I don't to have that kind of life but I have a daughter with him and so I think about her. Any thoughts?
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi there and welcome. Hm. Well, are you owning anything about this scenario yourself? The communication style of calling a name and yelling is really ineffective. If my husband did that, I'd tell him to go alone to something as well.
I really think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and figure out where you yourself are contributing to these marriage problems. I get wanting support---- but verbalizing it and helping someone along to be more supportive is a much better approach than attacking them.
good luck
I really think you need to take a long hard look in the mirror and figure out where you yourself are contributing to these marriage problems. I get wanting support---- but verbalizing it and helping someone along to be more supportive is a much better approach than attacking them.
good luck
Well.....You might have had a different reaction from Him had You asked Him to help rather than yell at Him and call Him stupid. That's hardly ever a good way to ensure support.
As I recall, only a few days ago You were "fanticizing" about Your cousin. Could Hubby have picked up on this and feel that You aren't being supportive of Him either? Maybe both of You need to make the other feel more important and cared for. Your Baby is counting on it.
Good Luck
As I recall, only a few days ago You were "fanticizing" about Your cousin. Could Hubby have picked up on this and feel that You aren't being supportive of Him either? Maybe both of You need to make the other feel more important and cared for. Your Baby is counting on it.
Good Luck
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Watching how people do it is really, really helpful. Just watching day to day issues come up, and how they're handled over a long period of time teaches you how to do it. My guess is, you've never had the chance to witness a good marriage.
So many times, people believe their partner knows what they want, and is purposely not doing it. My guess is, this guy was sitting there playing whatever instrument it is, enjoying his time and suddenly you're in a rage out of nowhere and calling him names.
This kind of thing can be averted just by giving him a heads-up. "Hey sweetie, I really need your help. I have to leave in 15 minutes and the baby needs ____. Can you help? *smile*"