Aa
once again.
Once again my boyfriend cheated on me. It's to the point now that I'm just numb. I can't even eat, or sleep. I have no feeling left me in me whatsoever. I wouldn't call it depressed not really sure what to call it but it's close to being it. It's the fourth time of it happening and I know people might say I'm an idiot but two times it happened before I got pregnant I should have cut it off but I have a huge heart and I love him so I forgave him if anyone has been in my position they would know how it feels and if you haven't don't sit here and tell me I should have left because you have no idea of how it feels. I'm 21 weeks pregnant and the third time he cheated I stayed with him for the baby's sake and he acted like he changed his ways but I got a text from a girl telling me everything tonight and it just makes me sick it's no longer I'm trying to make this work for the baby's sake and I love him it's I'm getting the f*** out of here before he keeps on doing this.
That's really great advice if you end up staying. Start living your own life doing your own thing and forget he's even there. Make plans with your friends, go and do interesting things all without him and live your life as if he doesn't exist. That would be a good alternative if you truly can't move out and leave his loser cheater butt in your dust. Go find fun stuff to do and don't include him in anything. Pretend like he is nothing more than a piece of furniture.
three time's the charm,fourth time's the alarm.I'm so sorry you're in the situation you're in,sweetheart.I haven't been in the situation you're in,but I remember always considering "if I'm in a relationship with a guy that cheats,I wouldn't mind so long as he has feelings for only me,"so I think I can understand where your heart was going with this.I probably would have let two times slip,but the third time you felt obligated to stay for your baby's sake and you still love him.you probably feel like crap.
if you didn't have an apartment lease,I would say leave for the baby's sake,because emotional stress in the womb is probably worse for him/her than not having the bad daddy around.besides,once your little sunshine is born,you'll have another love in your life to worry about.if you think your boyfriend won't get angry about bringing it up,I say suggest keeping this a business relationship;simply live together,as roommates.or perhaps a break from each other would do some good.set yourself free for a bit,get interested in some TV and internet shows,take up a new hobby like cooking or drawing,think about your baby's bright future,flirt with someone.you're a sweet girl,do some sweet things for yourself.
if you didn't have an apartment lease,I would say leave for the baby's sake,because emotional stress in the womb is probably worse for him/her than not having the bad daddy around.besides,once your little sunshine is born,you'll have another love in your life to worry about.if you think your boyfriend won't get angry about bringing it up,I say suggest keeping this a business relationship;simply live together,as roommates.or perhaps a break from each other would do some good.set yourself free for a bit,get interested in some TV and internet shows,take up a new hobby like cooking or drawing,think about your baby's bright future,flirt with someone.you're a sweet girl,do some sweet things for yourself.
COMMUNITY LEADER
If you move out and give him notice, he actually needs to then advertise for someone to replace you on the lease. If he doesn't, then you are not responsible. He'll be evicted and would then have to sue you or the landlord would sue you both . . . both of which takes time and money. Do what is best for you and figure that out later. If you have ANYONE you can live with, do it. How else will this man ever take things seriously that you will not put up with this treatment?? Look into government assistance because these are the situations they are for. No, shouldn't be a lifestyle where for the rest of your life you take it but for now while you get on your feet, it's okay to do. Section 8 can set you up with a house and if you don't work, you may need to start. But remember, if you go to school, the hours you put in are worth a lot more than if you don't go to school . .. so hours at work are more profitable and help you be steady/stable without this guy who takes you for granted. Think of ALL your options as this is an opportunity to better your life. good luck hon
It's a shame you don't have a better relationship with your family to move out and live with any one of them instead of him. That's what I'd do. I'd wait until he left for wherever he goes during the day, pack my stuff in the car and go to my parents house. I wouldn't stay with him one more minute. How can you even look at his ugly face anymore knowing he's been banging multiple girls behind your back for such a long time? I'd be SO disgusted that I couldn't even look at him, much less live in the same house or breath the same air as him anymore. I would be completely grossed out by his presence.
I'm in a year lease with him at our apartment because I thought things were different. So I'm screwed
Ladybeeley, you under estimate the power of the vagina. We women have all the power and must notforget it. Sometimes we miss place that power, but believe me it can be taken back.
I have the power in my relationship. I didnt always. My man knows better than to deceit me now, because i stood my ground and demanded what was right and nothing less. Its like training a puppy who is master. You let him feel in charge, he may wear the pant, but dont let him forget who controls the zipper !
Crack that whip girl ! & if he cant get with the program, someone else will. You will get what you deserve if you stand your ground.
I have the power in my relationship. I didnt always. My man knows better than to deceit me now, because i stood my ground and demanded what was right and nothing less. Its like training a puppy who is master. You let him feel in charge, he may wear the pant, but dont let him forget who controls the zipper !
Crack that whip girl ! & if he cant get with the program, someone else will. You will get what you deserve if you stand your ground.
Dont let anyone make you feel stupid. Betrayal is enviable in ever relationship. (At some point intime you will feel betrayed to some degree) everyone women at some point will put up with more than they bargined for. Be thankful you realize it now rather than when you are 40 with 5 kids and feel like there is no more options left than to put up with it.
If he truely loves you and wants it to work. He will change. People can change, but only if they want to. What i did whipped my man in shape real quick ! He did a complete 360. And will never let me go to bed mad, ever issue we have gets resolved. He deleted all his social media sights. Changed his number, works full time (bustes his *** so i can stay home) got us an apartment and comes home every night.
Honey, if he wants a family and it to work. He will do what meeds to be done to keep you.
Worst case scenario he doesnt and you guys go your seprate ways. If he cant shape up, its best that way.
Honey, if he wants a family and it to work. He will do what meeds to be done to keep you.
Worst case scenario he doesnt and you guys go your seprate ways. If he cant shape up, its best that way.
COMMUNITY LEADER
I think everyone does understand what it feels like to be cheated on. It's horrible and it hurts. I'm sorry you are going through that. But it is very true that if you continue to be with him after the fact, he just sees it as you'll be there no matter what. And guess what? You are. So, therefore, you yourself play a role in his chronic cheating by NOT doing anything about it.
we should never be in a position of needing a man so much that we let them walk all over us. If you are in that position because you are pregnant--- time to work on getting yourself OUT of that situation. College, job training courses, work programs, etc. This is what you need to THROW yourself into so that you can be independent and then when a guy betrays you over and over and over . . . you don't just say "I'm hurt" and live with it ---- but you can make a man live up to treating you properly. You are currently living like this man's doormat because it is how you think you can survive. He's no 'father' to your baby. A father cherishes and loves their child's mother. Remember that. He's not special. In fact, he's a shmuck that hurts you and hurts his baby's mom and jeopardizes his ability to stay together as a family without caring. For what? Sex with another woman?? Do you really want that to be your life??
So, I get that you don't want to hear this. Your situation is like so many others--- it's not unique to be pregnant or with kids and cheated on. It happens. But you have choices to make.
I'd make meaningful change in your life by working on your own independence. I know things like paralegal are a great program where you can go for really not that long of schooling, may be able to have the majority if not whole thing paid for via a grant, and then have a great job with a nice income to support yourself and your family.
Because I'd rather that then some guy believing he can treat met this way.
Again, very sorry you are going through this. I hope you can make some changes YOURSELF so to stop this pattern. good luck
we should never be in a position of needing a man so much that we let them walk all over us. If you are in that position because you are pregnant--- time to work on getting yourself OUT of that situation. College, job training courses, work programs, etc. This is what you need to THROW yourself into so that you can be independent and then when a guy betrays you over and over and over . . . you don't just say "I'm hurt" and live with it ---- but you can make a man live up to treating you properly. You are currently living like this man's doormat because it is how you think you can survive. He's no 'father' to your baby. A father cherishes and loves their child's mother. Remember that. He's not special. In fact, he's a shmuck that hurts you and hurts his baby's mom and jeopardizes his ability to stay together as a family without caring. For what? Sex with another woman?? Do you really want that to be your life??
So, I get that you don't want to hear this. Your situation is like so many others--- it's not unique to be pregnant or with kids and cheated on. It happens. But you have choices to make.
I'd make meaningful change in your life by working on your own independence. I know things like paralegal are a great program where you can go for really not that long of schooling, may be able to have the majority if not whole thing paid for via a grant, and then have a great job with a nice income to support yourself and your family.
Because I'd rather that then some guy believing he can treat met this way.
Again, very sorry you are going through this. I hope you can make some changes YOURSELF so to stop this pattern. good luck
Now you know his true nature, and you know that he will always cheat on you if stay. So you have a choice to make. Do you stay and allow yourself to keep being cheated on forever? Or do you leave and gain back some self respect by not allowing yourself to be mistreated? It's up to you but I know what I'd do, and it doesn't involve staying with a cheater.
Sigh sorry for all the typos stupid auto correct I should never post from my phone
Sweet heart don't waste your time with him because after a while it's just gonna get worse.
Never make anything work for the baby's sake my X cheated and I fell apart we just found out were were pregnant two weeks later he's moved out with some other chock he'd been with on the side for 3 months. It was the hardest moment of my life pregnant with my first baby abandoned and my c be I g a total piece of work. But I could not imagine going through those emotions while my baby was already born. What helped me get over him fast was the fact that I was so much more happier with out him. And my son was ever thing to me there was no room left in my heart to give and ***** about my x. Now I have a wounded husband who loves my son like his own and we are expecting no 2 together. No baby should she their mother cry over a jerk.
Lol an ultimatum wont work. You already showed him you vare so little for yourself ornwhat example is set for the baby that he will always vheat on you. You've shown him you allow cheating 4 times! Why would he ever take you serious now. Once is a mistake for you taking him back. Twice is a pattern. 3 times its your fault. 4 times you might as well be setting the hookups up yourself. Leave or dont but either eay he will never have respect for you or care about you. So now youre deciding YOUR happiness and setting the exanple for what your chikd will see is ok.
I know exactly how you feel ! Took me a year after our second child was born to finally get the courage and kick his cheating butt out ! 5 years of being cheated on was enough ! He has nothing to do with our kids and rarely pays child support ! But I feel like a better person being away from the cheating and put downs !
H.e.ll yeah hollyjae!!bravo girl!...good advice...love it..ur totally right...and January Carson...im sorry hun..holly pretty much covered it .... hope it gets better for u
I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes i still find myself feeling stupid for old ****. I never caught him being sexually involved with another (who knows he will deny. It until the day he dies) but i caught him talking to other girls on social media sights. I was so blindly inlove with him, i allowed him to walk all over me. He was very controling and like to play mind games on me, he was good for always trying to flip the situation on me when i would catch him in something. We had a short 2 week break up. We wherent together so i had more free time on my hands. I have an older cousin who is a stripper, she took me to the strip club (a girl one) and i ended up leaving with a waitressing job on the weekends. I worked from mon-friday in an office. After 2 weeks we ended up getting back together and like an idiot i told him about it and he flipped out. So everything he ever did went out the window because im just as bad for being a waitress. I was fully dressed, not once did i ever get extra friendly with customers and i only worked 2 nights lol i had a guy offer me 300 for a lap dance, he litterally pulled out a stack of 20s and was trying to bribe me. I could not take that offer, it just wasnt me. Being in a strip club cause a lot of tension. He would degrade me and make me feel worthless Until finally i could not take it anymore and i snapped. It got really ugly that night and i left him for good. He broke my phone so we had no comunication. I cut all ties with him. He would call my job and i would hang up. He would right me email after email, begging, pleading telling me how he so sorry, he didnt realize how much he loved me until after i was gone. That went on for 4months before we started talking again.
I gave him hell and made it very clear what i will put up with and what i wont. How i will be tolerate being spoken to and how i wont. This was a big struggle for this guy, i had to fight him hard, but being as stubborn as i was and not giving into his b.s is wat got us over it and the fact that he realized how much i really ment to him, how much i did for him and how much of a difference his life was without me. It was hard for him because of how he was raised.
I strongly believe men will only do to us what we allow them to do. By nature we as women are programed to care for, therefore we jump to inderstand, to forgive, to accept, and to try to make our partners happy.some men just take advantage of that. But believe me, we have all the power. Men are really weak.
What im trying to say is: you dont need that ****. No women does. You are strong and independent, sometimes it might not feel that way but you will suprise yourself.
Your guys needs an ultimatum.
Start off by separating yourself and do not get sucked into the B.S. very carefuly and calmly (keep the emotions in check and do not drift off topic) let him know in a very clear and short manner what exactly is the problem, how it affects you and how that will no longer be tolerated. If he trys to argue, simply say this is non-negociatable. This is not fair and im not settling for anything less than fair. Families love and respect one another, sleeping around behind my back is disrecpectful and anything but love. There is no reason to keep US going if your behavior continues. If he swears he will change, say i would really love that and us to work but unfortunately your word no longer has depth. Ive heard that line far to many times. Tell him i will believe you when i see it with my own eyes. Until you make that change we can keep thing strictly platonic.
Go your seprate way, keep things casual and no emotions. When you see a change then let him back into your life but not sooner than that ! Remember you have the power and you will have to stand your ground and demand the respect and love ypu deserve.
I gave him hell and made it very clear what i will put up with and what i wont. How i will be tolerate being spoken to and how i wont. This was a big struggle for this guy, i had to fight him hard, but being as stubborn as i was and not giving into his b.s is wat got us over it and the fact that he realized how much i really ment to him, how much i did for him and how much of a difference his life was without me. It was hard for him because of how he was raised.
I strongly believe men will only do to us what we allow them to do. By nature we as women are programed to care for, therefore we jump to inderstand, to forgive, to accept, and to try to make our partners happy.some men just take advantage of that. But believe me, we have all the power. Men are really weak.
What im trying to say is: you dont need that ****. No women does. You are strong and independent, sometimes it might not feel that way but you will suprise yourself.
Your guys needs an ultimatum.
Start off by separating yourself and do not get sucked into the B.S. very carefuly and calmly (keep the emotions in check and do not drift off topic) let him know in a very clear and short manner what exactly is the problem, how it affects you and how that will no longer be tolerated. If he trys to argue, simply say this is non-negociatable. This is not fair and im not settling for anything less than fair. Families love and respect one another, sleeping around behind my back is disrecpectful and anything but love. There is no reason to keep US going if your behavior continues. If he swears he will change, say i would really love that and us to work but unfortunately your word no longer has depth. Ive heard that line far to many times. Tell him i will believe you when i see it with my own eyes. Until you make that change we can keep thing strictly platonic.
Go your seprate way, keep things casual and no emotions. When you see a change then let him back into your life but not sooner than that ! Remember you have the power and you will have to stand your ground and demand the respect and love ypu deserve.
He does not love you or care, otherwise he would not cheat. This upsets me. So sorry to hear about someone going through this <\3 breaks my heart. Be strong and leave him, it will only continue.
Aww I do know how you feel and it's the WORST feeling. My husband now but before we got married he cheated and I was devastated and my mind didn't want anything else to do with him, but my heart was so in love. But I honestly think that made us stronger but it only happened once. Now we are married and expecting baby #2. I think you are making the right decision though because you have you and your baby to worry about and you really don't need to be stressing. Maybe y'all can just be friends later down the line but for now just co parent for the baby
Im glad you're finally realizing you need to leave. I don't mean that in any rude mannet at all, I really mean it. Get outta that, you deserve someone worth your big heart :)
4 times should be enough for u to see that u deserve a real man for urself an that baby not some.childish punk
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