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over?

My boyfriend went to Florida for 5 days with some long time friends of his. Before he left one of his friends mentioned that his fiance had left him after his first trip across the country. This kind of frightened my bf for some reason, but I had made him look at me in the eyes and I told him I am not that type of girl.(which I really am not.). My bf and I text message each other daily. Usually he'll send me a text in the morning or something saying "good morning" or something like that. Well after 3 days of him being gone, he suddenly stopped talking to me. No response from him at all on that day. I figured he was really busy having a good time with his friends, so I let it go. But then I didn't hear from him the next day either. And then the next day I hadn't heard from him. I ended up sending him a text, kind of jokingly, asking if he was still alive. I hadn't heard from him in such a long time and it worried me. Well he got kind of mad at that text. Then I asked him what was wrong and he responded with "us". He told me he wasn't happy and that he was upset that my mom didn't like him very much and also said he felt like she was punishing me because of him. (I had been getting into trouble a lot lately). So he said we were breaking up. I just don't understand how he goes from being so "crazy about me" as he had said he was right before he left, to not caring for me at all anymore. In the matter of a few days?? I feel pretty crushed and I still don't really get what happened. I told him I wanted the truth for why he was ending it and he said he already told me and he wouldn't lie to me. It had to do with my mother and it just "not working out" in his eyes.

sorry that was kind of long and more of a rant than anything.
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Avatar_m_tn
Honestly - this comes across to me as a bit immature on his side.  Going from being crazy about you to dumping you in the space of what, 3 or 4 days?  Dumping you by text while he's away on holiday?  Blaming your mother?  I find it hard to believe that is all the reason, but maybe it's the easiest one for him to identify.

I'd leave it until he gets back home.  Don't text or call him until he's back.  When he does get back and you can talk properly, face-to-face, you'll need to discuss this properly.  Try not get weepy, or to come across as desperate or clingy, that's not attractive and is more likely to push him away than encourage him to want to be with you.

I can understand why you are so upset and confused right now, the way you describe it his behaviour doesn't make much sense.  I hope when you see him again you can work it out, or at least you can get a more substantial and satisfactory reason why he doesn't want to see you any more.
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525485_tn?1314364901
ARe the rest of his friends single??? Sounds to me like maybe they have something to do with it.....maybe he did something while he was away and regrets it...and this is the way he is dealing with it! I have a feeling that when he comes back around from vacation that things are going to be different, however, do NOT go running back to him. Find out what really happened and make him explain things to you!! This would drive me nuts.

However, it sounds like he is not very mature breaking up via text..a.nd maybe he is not the right person to be with until he grows up a bit.

let us know what happens!
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Avatar_f_tn
perhaps something more happened while he was in florida then hanging out with his friends and in order for him to not feel bad he broke up with you.

it was EXTREMELY immature for him to break up with you via text message. and like one of the other posters mentioned if his other friends are single they could have played a huge hand in the break up. whenever he gets back....don't go back to him. don't text or call him. if he's so willing to break up with you while he's away for whatever reason then he's just a piece of poo.
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13167_tn?1327197724
sweetpea,  this is how relationships end when you're young.  

He's moved on,  and has lost interest.  That story about his friend's fiance breaking up was him hoping you would do it.  Kind of offering it as something that women sometimes do.

This isn't about your mother,  this is about him losing interest in the relationship.  

Move on.  This is the natural course of things.


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145992_tn?1341348674
Everything the above posters said is true.  He's enjoyed his vacation and being with the single guys and doing what single men do.  It's easiest to do those things when he is actually single.  He doesn't want to feel guilty for anything he does do.  So he broke it off with you but instead of being honest with you he made up some bs excuse about your mother being the issue.  I would try to let it go and move on.  When he comes back and decides he wants to resume the relationship again, hopefully you will have seen him for what he truly is and will not even want him back.
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Avatar_f_tn
Sorry but i do have to agree with the other posters. It does sound like he liked the single life and I take that his friends are single too. Maybe just give him a few days and see what happens. I had a similer thing with this guy i use to date. It was like a wham-bam thank you kind of thing. Gave me no warnings he wanted out, and all of a sudden he was like hey its over and thats it. Honestly I've done alot better without him. I take your young too, there are plenty of guys out there to still meet. Don't think that this guy was your furture and there isn't any other guy out there for you. Take a break from the dating world and focus on yourself.
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684030_tn?1415615923
Your mom is neither the reason nor the cause of the breakup.
He's using her as the excuse in order to shirk personal responsibility and deflect culpability on his end. And, as for the "truth," maybe, he doesn't even know what that is.
Regardless, your BF has checked out of the relationship; and, the time that he spent with his friends merely crystalized that fact.
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Avatar_f_tn
well the one who's fiance left him is single, but his other friend is not. I am pretty sure there were a few other guys there, but I don't really know them. I have a feeling that his friend talked him into it and really pushed him in that direction. I just found it SO odd that he had been so crazy about me before, and then just stopped. He would text me ALL the time before and always want to go out with me somewhere and just be with me. We spent a lot of time together. As upset as I have been, I'm kinda getting over it. I keep reminding myself about the things that bothered me about the relationship and things that he did that I didn't agree with, like smoking. I'm trying to stick with the thought that everything happens for a reason. I don't know what that reason is, but it's over now.
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Avatar_f_tn
Sounds to me like he got some somewhere and decided he likes the idea of not having to answer for it.  He wants to continue the single life.  Count your blessings it was now and not 15 years and 3 kids later.
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Avatar_f_tn
True. I agree with Teko on that. Be thankful it happend now and not after you commited to being with him.
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755829_tn?1246922825
Something happened there in Florida, I realisation or event, who knows, but when things go from good to over in such a short space of time, long term reasons like your mother are not going to be the issue, as the others have said move on and be happy that it is over now, you seem like a nice girl and I am sure you will find another loving man soon, but try not to put yourself out there too early maybe give it a month or 2 and enjoy being you, do some of things that you have always wanted to do.  If you feel you can't deal with it find someone to talk to, write it down in a journal.  If you feel like you wished he was around, make yourself a list of things you didn't like about him, times when you thought that it might not work out.  if you do confront him when he returns try not to get angry and say things you regret, it may seem like a good idea to rip him to shreds for what he has done, but in the long term you will regret the things you have said, I sure did.  But I agree with the above posters you do need to speak to him face to face, he is trying to avoid responsibility and he needs to learn that he needs to face these things.
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517872_tn?1415648202
now i just dont know....
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517872_tn?1415648202
whatever happens happens for our good???
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580755_tn?1357673215
Look at the date of the original post before posting please.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Whew, I had remembered Sweetpea from way back and thought this was a real time post.  I read it all in earnest and then saw that it was 2009 date.  Okay, glad it isn't her current situation.  Yes, it IS helpful to check out the date as posts can be pulled up that are from long ago.

One clue is the med help has put an hour glass symbol by older posts to help identify when it is an old post.

Thanks!
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517872_tn?1415648202
there is nothing too old about which something new cannot be added to give it a better meaning and to learn further... i could relate to the post... it was like old wine in a new bottle situation for me
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