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parents dont approve of dating different races
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parents dont approve of dating different races

Alright so heres the story. I told my parents that I liked this kid that had a little black in him. They don't approve one bit. They said they would never be able to accept him into the family. It's not fair, they just think of it as color. This world isn't like that anymore. White people can be just as harsh as black people. Not everyone is bad. They said they would sell my car and all this other stuff. They are totally against this whole thing. They don't understand its about happiness not color. I've been have horrible days, just thinking about their perspective, and the way things are going around here. I just haven't been myself. It's so hard to think about the way they are looking at things. I wish they understood. I've gotten yelled at so much, because of this. But I was willing to give up everything to fight over this whole or-deal because it just isn't right. They say once you get with a black guy you'll never get with a white guy again. But like I told them then I guess the white guy wouldn't be able to accept the fact that I was with a black guy and I really wouldn't mean that much to him. I really don't understand. And never will. My Mom went down to talk to the kid and she told me a completely different story than he told me. I feel so bad for the poor kid, because it's just because he's black! Help PLEASE.
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i am a black women and you think times are different but as you can see and im here to tell you there are MANY just like your parents.........................it *****. does his blackness show? shoot if it doesnt tell your parents he's someone else and go for it if his blackness does show then you are outta luck how old are you anyway?
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I'm sorry to hear your parents are so ignorant. Thank God they didn't pass it down to you. If you cannot leave without your stuff and need to remain in their care due to your age, you should probably step back so as not to cause problems for yourself or the innocent boy. Once you are 18, don't be a bigot. Date anyone you want and tell your parents to F off if they disapprove. THEY are the ones with a problem here. Your only problem is being too young? or too dependent to be able to leave. If you ARE 18 - RUN like the wind... Get student loans and a bank loan for your car and make a life without them in control. If they are bigots, the likely scenerio is there will be LOTS of other boys they will have problems with for various, useless reasons. So sad...
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You do not give your age, so i assume your parents pay all of the bills, and buy your clothes ect, which you can not afford to do at this time,I think it is wrong for them to feel that way, but maybe they think you are going to run off, and get married, and are worried that you may not finish your education(,Remember God loves us all Red Yellow, Black, and White we are precious in his sight) this is an old quote,but the more you argue with your parents, the worse things will be, so as long as you live under their rood, and accept their bounty, you will have to do as they say, because it is there house, but when you get of age, and can support yourseld, do as you please, but maybe you can remain friends, untill you are older, I have raised 3 daughters, and i do know the more a parent objects, the more a girl , or boy will wiill do the opisite, unless you sit down, and have a long talk, and just say, we are just friends now, and people do not think this way anymore, try to reason without arguing,   I wish you luck  jo
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536882_tn?1225516459
What an unfortunate situation.  Really sad that our society still has so many bigots.  A person's color says nothing about who they are.  Glad to know you have not inherited your parent's perspective.  If you live under their roof, you will have to follow their rules.  I would continue to talk with the guy.  Let him know your parents don't want you dating?  Once you are able to get out of their home do it!!!  There are many people who created a life for themselves without the help of mom and dad's money.  If they pay your car pmt, buy a bike!  Show them that you won't let anything come between you and something that is important to you.  It is so sad when people of one color believe they are 'better' than people of another color solely based on that.  How naive!  Let us know how things turn out, or if you have any other questions.  
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484465_tn?1347117312
my mother taught me that all men are the same, no matter what race, and she was right!  she told me the only thing i had to worry about was marrying a Godly man.  i will teach my daughter the same thing
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100019_tn?1335923317
I agree with your parents.  But as you can see by the responses here I am in the minority.  I don't hate people of other races or anything like that.  And I do believe that God loves everybody.

However, we told our daughter the same thing.  That if she married a person of another race he and their children would not be welcome in our home.  My parents told me the same thing and my husband's parents told him the same thing.

Now, having been told that, my daughter has a choice to make.  She can, of course, have a relationship with someone of another race, but if she chooses to do it she knows what the consequences are.  

I'm sorry that your parents are yelling at you and trying to conform you to their wishes.  Most parents do that in one way or another, tho.  If you were failing all your classes at school - would they not be doing the same thing?  It's like that.  Once you are on your own you can live your life anyway you choose, but at least you know how your parents feel.

Did you not have a little bit of an inkling before you brought it up to your parents how they would feel?  It's interesting that at first you said he had a "little bit of black" in him which is open to a whole lot of different interpretations.

They are right about one thing....and everyone please keep an open mind about this before you start beating me on the head...there are white men who are not open or accepting about someone having a relationship with a black person in their past.

Anyway, just my two cents.  And please remember, I'm not judging you or telling you what to do.  And whatever you choose to do has nothing to do with me or my life and ultimately, not even your parents AS long as you are okay with severing all ties with them.  It sounds like that might happen.  Keep in mind you're angry and upset right now but living without the love of parents for the rest of your life will be very hard.
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397560_tn?1220025777
I am a white woman that married a wonderful black man...

My parents always taught me to look beyond the color of the skin of every people and care about WHO they are, not the COLOR.
We are in 2008, Obama is about to become president of the United States, and still, reading at this last post, I feel that there is a lot of prejudice and bigotry among the american white people.
As soon as i introduced my fiancee to my parents they forgot about the COLOR of his skin and just observed at the man, what he does and how he behaves...AND THEY ACCEPTED HIM. He is a wonderful husband, serving his country in the Air Force, trying to get his edcation completed and my family loves him as a son.
Believe it or not, mixed couples are the FUTURE of the world.
So sorry for you dear, it's so sad to see that there is prejudice and racism...
Thank God you did not inherit your parents genes and as soon as you turn 18, well you can mind your business and be a 2008 woman and choose for yourself.
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152852_tn?1205717026
I, too, think it's sad and unfortunate that there is such ignorance and racism in this world.  And while I do think that, to a great extent, it can be a generational thing that is passed down to kids, I think it is likely more a regional/geographic mentality.

If he's a good person and this is not about rebelling (knowing your parents are racists and deliberately choosing someone to infuriate them) and you are 18 or older, then I would focus on my relationship with the person I love.  

However, if  you are living in an area with lots of racism and ignorance, you may encounter difficulty on a daily basis if the people in the community shun you, glare at you, mumble racist remarks, etc.  And if you have kids in an area like this, your kids will be given a very difficult time.  

If you are old enough, he is a wonderful man, and you plan to spend your life with him, you will likely have an easier time if you moved to a more diverse, open-minded town/city.

All the best to you.
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Avatar_f_tn
You come across as someone who lives in 1940 with your judgements and attitudes (not just this post but others too)

You wrote "However, we told our daughter the same thing.  That if she married a person of another race he and their children would not be welcome in our home."

-- I feel sorry for your children.
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100019_tn?1335923317
I don't see 1940 as such a bad place to live.

I find it interesting that any one can have an opinion as long as it's the same opinion as everyone else's.  As soon as a dissenting opinion is given I'm a racist.  Never mind the fact that I tried to be as respectful as possible in my posting and that I stated I was not judgemental towards anyone who chooses a different lifestyle than myself or our family.

Please don't feel sorry for our children.  They are quite happy, well-adjusted, contented people.  
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152852_tn?1205717026
Mrs. Ockert, if you are not a racist, why exactly would you disown your child and have nothing to do with your grandchildren if your child married someone of another race?  Would it not matter if he were a moral, hardworking, respectful, man who adored your daughter? And the "we were just raised that way and just don't believe in it" isn't what I'm looking for when I ask this question.  I'd like to know what you view as being so wrong about it or what your parents viewed as being so wrong if you are just taking on their beliefs.  And when you say "another race", would that include Jews, Native Americans, Middle Easterners, Asians, and Hispanics?  Or just Blacks?  Also, you said that you told your daughter that she and her children would not be welcome in your home if she married someone of another race--does this not apply to your son?  Or is he already married to a caucasian?

I'm genuinely curious about this and would really appreciate your sharing your thoughts and beliefs.
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I have the SAME problem .. basically , I don't tell them anymore . I was "married" to a black male on facebook , and my mom made me take it down , saying that's not acceptable !.. When I do get a boyfriend , if he's black , and they don't approve , it's simple .. "Would you rather me be in a relationship with an abusive white male , or a black male who treats me right ." If it ever came down to that , and they truly cared about you , they would let you decide .. Honestly in my opinion , your life is already planned out for you , if your suppose to be with someone out of your race , you will be , no one can stop it .  
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