relationship advice??

[Angie_18]

Me and my boyfriend/ babys dad have been together for along time were both 18 now well he's cheated on me once and lately I've been finding text messages to other girls he doesnt see these girls but its the fact that he talks to them.. I got fed up with it & decided to move in with a family member well this weekend I spent the night with him & everything was good then last night we were watching a movie he starts to get ready & goes out to a party & didnt get back until 4AM!! I just don't know what to do anymore I feel stupid for sticking around...

[Angie_18]

Thank you guys for the advice wtf_do_i_do and specialmom. Your both right, I see a change in him especially with me not living with him we communicate A LOT more. He LOVES his baby & buys things for him all the time. But like specialmom said sticking around was showing him that he could do what he pleased &i will not put up with that. Were young & it is hard to grow up but I'm sure everything will workout for us. Thanks! (:  

[specialmom]

Ugh, I have a really hard time with this.  If a couple has a baby, part of the deal is that the 'old' life is over.  

Many young people don't take that seriously when they have kids sadly.  They want to continue doing what their peers without babies are doing.  

I'm not sure if there is much you can do about it.  I would just resign yourself to this being part of trade off of being a young mother.  You become 'super responsible' as you can't run off and party because you have  your little one depending on you.  Life isn't fair that the guy gets to.

Would I live with someone like that?  No.  I think you were right to go live with your family member and I'd stay there.  Going back teaches the boyfriend that he can poop on you and his kid and you'll stick around for it.  

men will treat you how you let them treat you.  So, have firm boundaries and say 'no way' if they are not being good partners or fathers".   THAT could be what changes them----  not making excuses for them or rationalizing the kid like behavior.  (and once you have kids . . .   you can't be the kid anymore, ya know?).  

So, stay at your family members and this guy may or may not grow up and rise to the challenge of being adult like.  But you'll be safe and doing what is best for your baby.  good luck

[wtf_do_i_do]

Yes I do agree that he does not need to be going out and partying all of the time. Preparing for a baby takes a lot and that what his main focus should be on. I feel that he may be trying to party and go out as much a he can now before the baby comes. A lot g guys have the tendency to try to live it up quote unquote before their responsibilities arrive. Hopefully all of that will die down once the baby gets here and he sees that he has more important things to be doing. I asked my boyfriend what did he think about this so that I could give you a guys perspective and he said that your boyfriend wouldn't be with you if he wanted other girls and that he is just use to what he normally does and doesn't realize how much change there needs to be for the baby. Trust me he knows. We were 18 when i got pregnant with our son. How does he feel about the pregnancy?

[Angie_18]

Im 6months pregnant,  we've been together for 3 years. I understand that were still young we used to go out to parties alot before I got pregnant but I feel that he doesnt need to go out to parties by himself well I sit at home. I know how much of a flirt he can be

[wtf_do_i_do]

Hey,

I completely understand why you would feel stupid. But you should not feel that way. My boyfriend/ Baby's father has been together for 4 years as well going on 5 and we both have been through some crazy things. He's still very young and he is just doing what normal guys his age would do. This is a time in your life where you both are going to have to learn to grow with each other. His priorities are still set at a young mind set. I don' want to come off negative but you guys are just so young. Just try to grow with him if you love him. How old is your child? how long have ya'll been together?

[misswest91]

Dont feel stupid its hard to give up on someone you have invested so much time in. My bf and I have been together 4 years no and have went through just about everything that would end a relationship. . But somehow we got our **** together and are getting married later this year. We r legitimately happy.  Good luck to u and dont feel stupid.  He can come around and change but he has tonwant to.. u shouldn't have to wait forever for that to happen tho