relationship in need of help!!!

Question

Well i really don't even know here to start...i dont really keep in touch with my friends anymore and i really need advice but i'd prefer advice from ppl who dont know me or my bf. This is the situation I'm in my boyfriend and his family make me feel worthless because i dont know how cook and im always tired but im pregnant and i really dont have that much energy and im very moody im guessing its the hormones. I might not know how to cook but i try me very best to be there for him whenever he needs me. i dont have much to offer but i borrow family member cars to help him out with a ride knowing his family wont give him one. i get very little from foodstamps and i finish them like in 2 days with him...and he still says im not considerate. That the only reason i use them with him its because if i say no hes going to get mad and no its not true i waste them on him because i love him and i know he didnt have money cuz he just got a job recently...and thats not considerate enough because he ahs to tell me to buy him stuff, he knows i always waste them on him I dont have to tell him.  Another thing he always says i dont dress nice for him, what does he expect i dont have money and im pregnant and nothing fits. Am i really that worthless because i dont know how to cook and i do want to learn but he says he already expects that in the future afterw ork if i had dinner ready for him something would be missing in food like saying it wont taste good. Last thing on my mond i have to say I sometimes dont want to have sex because im to tired and i have outbreaks and they make my whole body hurt, he said i cant even pleasure him, dont know how to cook or iron right. why doe she need me and for me not to get mad whenever another girl does him the favor. I dont know what to do anymore am i really that worthless, everytime we r with his family they are just critising me. and im always talking about his ex becuase when i met him he would talk about her like non stop and he gave her a home n etc... and what do i get??? i wish he would give me a home im having his baby soon, im so jealous of his ex cuz i know how much he loves her he even has her named tattood...any advice ppl am i really worthless im 22 years old and dont know how to cook or be a good girlfriend

cheshchesh819 · Accepted Answer

The only reason you feel worthless is because this is how you bf makes you feel,the image i am getting is that unless you cook clean and provide good sex for him then he aint happy,who does he think he is,you really need to tell him that there is more to building a relationship than these 3 factors,such as respect trust,communication,help loving understanding,amoung other things,i think your bf needs to be more supportiv towards you,this is a situation that is messy and with a baby coming into it things will get even more difficult,i would suggest meeting up with some of your friends and family for the support,because i have a feeling you are going to need it.

ttt1989 · Answer

i love the way you guys think i wish i was strong enough i guess theirs times he shows me so much love that i forget about the times he's been mean.

AndyMarie · Answer

Your boyfriend is abusive and his family is well nuts. If I were you I would really consider my options. Your pregnate so that complicates things but you need to do what's best for you and your baby. What happens when the baby come and you need the food stamps to buy food for the baby? Or you need your last $5 to get the baby diapers? Is he still going to expect you to put him before your new born baby? Him making a fuss about you not knowing how to cook. Cooking is trial and error that's how you learn. He's gonna have to deal with a few bad meals before you get the hang of it. This man must not love you if he is putting you through so much.

brice1967 · Answer

Your boyfriend is abusive.  His family is full of dysfunction, and in return he is passing all of that dysfunction on to you.  He has damaged your self worth and self esteem.  This guy seems to be around only for the hand outs and isnt willing to lend a hand.

I dont want to sound like a jerk, but why would you want to stick around with someone like this?  Wouldn't it be far nicer to find a man who is more concerned about you and your child than himself?  Relationships are all about giving, and you've given until your blue in the face.  You've given this guy your last $5 and he complains?  That takes a special kind of balls and they hang under the word ABUSIVE!

Being a good girlfriend has nothing to do with being a good cook.  Anyone can learn to cook.  If this guys complaint is not having good food, does he buy good food and cook?  (If you want something done right you have to do it yourself... did you ever hear that saying?  Let him apply that to his life and see where he gets.)  It really sounds like this guy is a spoiled brat and a momma's boy on top of that.  I too am a mommas boy, but I can take care of myself.

You need to love yourself in order to find a good love.  Distancing yourself from this guy is a step in the right direction.  Why would you subject your child to this behavior?  Do you think it will get better with this guy?  What would make you think that?  He already disrespects you at every turn.... it is right time for you to start doing for yourself.  Do what you need to get away.  His parents don't like you?  Good, speak with a lawyer.... there are a few in every community that make them selves available to ladies in your situation.  Call the authorities if you feel there is potential for violence, and start to rely on your family for support.  You can do this and you do deserve better....  you've been a hard worker you've said.  Now is the time to get to work on this.

ttt1989 · Answer

thank u, and yes the support of my family i'll b needing it and i know they'll b there4 me n my baby. im just so confused the baby is almost here. i want to give my baby a good life a better one than mine and mine hasnt gone well because of my mistakes not my  mothers. i just wish i was strong enough to do it on my own , because i feel worthless with my boyfriend he doesnt understand i just dont know how to cook but im a great person whenver he needs me. it seems hard for me to leave him and later see him happy with someone else. he's told me i ruin everything maybe i do but i guess cuz i cant keep my mouth shut whenever i feel i have to say something i say it. he says i dont deserve a home from him because i do nothing for him, n hes family sees that. all i can say is hes family might know how to cook but their not even close to perfect. Ive always been a hard worker maybe not right now cuz im always tired

ttt1989 · Answer

i know that has come to mind but theirs times he is soo sweet to me and he accepted me with what i have, but theirs times he makes me feel very down.
i love him to death and its hard to leave him, maybe itsb also my fault that im not a WOMEN that knows how to cook n etc

AnnieBrooke · Answer

Well, it sounds like a bad relationship, and you're not going to be able to fix it that he is so mean and negative.  What will you do if you finally understand he will never be nicer and never be better to you?  In your shoes, I would begin to determine how to get out of it.  Why waste love on someone who is mean and unloving?  He sounds very cruel.  I would consider moving away.