relationship

hello i am disturb  in a relationship for i love a girl who is 1/2 my ages and i am really deeply in love with her but she is 16 and i am ready to wait for her to be adult before we can have sex,what worries me is that am far away from her and she says she loves me  how can i be sure if she is saying the true ,and secondly am black and she is white and am afraid her family will not allow our relationship to grow ,so in this situation i need help if she really proof to me she loves me how will i convince   her family that age and color does not matter in love, and she say if i will wait for her to be 18 before we can see and move on with our relationships but she has so many friends and age mate who are boys and am scared they may change her mine towards my love for her so how will i need to know am secure in this type of relation that we only talk on phone and see on internet or sky am worried please tell me what to do

[kay2486]

at the age of 16 we dont know what love is, i thought i did but i know what it really is at 24 with two kids and a fiancee.

at 16 its not real love what we feel, we think it is but its not,  you should look for someone of your own age really, her parents will seriously not be happy if they found out you had been seeing their daughter they would more than likely put a stop to it, even worse get the police involved.

just look at it from their point of view, and yes i know she 16 and its not illegal for her to become active now, but would you like if you had a daughter and your daughter was to bring a man home and not a boy but a man?

i honestly dont think she would wait til 18 thats another two years she will wanna go out with mates and and her mates will have boyfriends of their age, start to look for someone of you age range, not school girls, go out with someone you know will know what love is, settle down with them have kids get married.

you havent even met face to face have you?

id end the friendship now because a relationship is when we go out together on dates like watch a film or go for a meal then people grow fonder and fall in love eventually move in together, im sorry but you arent really in a relationship are? if you havent even met

[perch101]

I'm sorry but you are not going to like what I have to say.

When I was 16 I was involved with a much older man - he was 33 - so nearly the EXACT age difference in your situation.
I thought I loved him - it wasn't until I was older and really fell in love that I realised that I didn't even know what love WAS at 16 - I was more in love with the idea of being in love.
The relationship was on and off again for a a while. Then guess what? I outgrew him - my maturity level surpassed him. That is EXTREMELY common with relationships where there is a dramatic age difference.- for you to be interested in a 16 year old girl shows that you have a low maturity level - not meaning to be harsh but realistic - because most guys your age could not put up with the maturity level of a 16 year old girl becuause he has is a grown man, and his world is completely different to hers.

Also you know what - when I think back to this guy I actually feel resentment - like HELLO I was 16 - I was in high school - he was a grown man double my age he should have known better and stayed the h*ll away from me! Your girl will come to the same realisation as she matures.

She will grow up and mature and realise that she has much more in commonwith - and is much more in tune and attracted to guys of her own age. I know thats hard to hear, but it is really unlikely to be any other way.

So don't worry about her family accepting your skin color - thats the last of your problems. BTW - her father will FREAK about this if he found out - any normal father would - you would be closer in age to him than his daughter.

In my opinion - STOP hanging around school girls and look for women in your age group. Save yourself heartache and trouble or worse for them.

By the way, which state are you in? Are you aware that if you were intimate with this girl you could get done for statuatory rape?

Be careful - and please leave this 16 year old high school girl alone.

[kay2486]

at the age of 16 we dont know what love is, i thought i did but i know what it really is at 24 with two kids and a fiancee.

at 16 its not real love what we feel, we think it is but its not,  you should look for someone of your own age really, her parents will seriously not be happy if they found out you had been seeing their daughter they would more than likely put a stop to it, even worse get the police involved.

just look at it from their point of view, and yes i know she 16 and its not illegal for her to become active now, but would you like if you had a daughter and your daughter was to bring a man home and not a boy but a man?

i honestly dont think she would wait til 18 thats another two years she will wanna go out with mates and and her mates will have boyfriends of their age, start to look for someone of you age range, not school girls, go out with someone you know will know what love is, settle down with them have kids get married.

you havent even met face to face have you?

id end the friendship now because a relationship is when we go out together on dates like watch a film or go for a meal then people grow fonder and fall in love eventually move in together, im sorry but you arent really in a relationship are? if you havent even met

[perch101]

I didn't realise you haven't even met this girl. If you haven't met her - you're not in a relationship, I agree with Kay on that one.

[sweetpea03]

Age and color don't mean a whole lot, though at 16 she is not legal and you should stay away from her. She will grow and mature a lot in the next few years. At 16, I thought I was so mature, and looking back, I really wasn't. Age gaps don't bother me, but you have to have the same or very similar maturity levels. At this point, I really don't think you do. It'll be hard to let her go, but it really is the best thing for you to do, for your sake and hers. Good luck.

[chriso1977]

hello thanks you all for your answers they are so good i did not say i was ready to see or met with her i have to give her time to re ales if she really love me as time goes on for her to also grow to maturity ,she is the kind of children whose body is big then her age

[teko]

Jail bait bro. You are old enuff to know that. The best thing for both of you is to back it up. At sixteen years old she has no clue what she wants and is all caught up in the flattery of an older guy giving her adult attention.  I can pretty much gaurantee you that it will not last, so save your self the trouble. My guess is her mom and dad would pretty much run you off. If my sixteen year old were involved with a guy twice her age, I would be locking her inside the house and sending the policeman to his. (speaking as a parent there ).

[specialmom]

Yes, these are not the dreams we have for our children.  Frankly, she needs to focus on school, herself and growing up rather than pacifying an insecure older man.  Not trying to be harsh but you are actually a  burden on her life.  If you love her--------  do not contact her until she is 21 (or 18 at the earliest) again so that she may be a child and mature at her own rate.  There are only a few reasons why a man of your age is interested in a young teen age girl.  I think I'd look in the mirror as to why you have this attraction.  Do you lack confidence to be with a woman your own age?  That is something for you to work on.  I wish you luck-------- but know that the right thing for her would be for you to leave her alone until she is older and don't let her know you are waiting.  Let her be a kid and do kid things.  And yes, that includes getting to know boys her own age.  That is what is right and fair. good luck

[Ashelen]

I have a SLIGHTLY different and yet very similar perspective from everyone else. When I was 16, I was dating a 24-year-old. I thought I was in love...turns out we were just really good friends.

However...years down the road we reconnected, and I honestly think that we could have built a life together and been pretty happy, and very much in love, if we had decided to restart our relationship.

BUT...not at 16. I needed to grow up and experience...date a few more people...live life, before joining the kind of adult world a 24-year-old lives in. It just had no way of surviving the way that we had originally been together. And I think I would've grown to hate him for taking away the "fun years" because he should've known better than to try to tie me down at that age, having been there before himself.

If you really feel like you love her...wait. I agree with specialmom...she needs to be at least 20 before you try this relationship again. she deserves to have the fun years, and even if she thinks she's heartbroken you are the older and more mature person and you owe it to her to do the right thing and back off until she's ready..no matter what she says, at 16 she is not.

Good luck, keep your head straight. this really isn't legal but luckily you've not had anything sexual with her yet so at this point you can back off and wait and see if she comes back around to you....you know that saying "let them go and if they love you they'll come back"? yeah it applies in this situation. I met another man and fell in love in the interim between when I broke up with the 24-year-old and when we connected again...but then he met another woman as well. We both realized that we could'[ve had feelings for each other if we had stayed single, but we are also both incredibly happy in the lives we built away from each other.

that's just my two cents.