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should i stay with my girlfriend
3 years ago i was lucky enough to be the boyfriend  of a beautiful girl who i still love with all my heart  but over the last few years she has cheated on me with a girl who is still hanging around  i would ether get a phone call at 3-4 in the morning saying i cant do this martin in sorry  or finding out the next day  we have broke up and got back togther more times than i can remmber  
my girlfriend say she dosnt like the sex or the kissing with this girl but for some reson she keeps doing it  
we have try her not seeing this girl at all  to leting her she her as a friend when ever she wants to how we are doing it now she can only see her twice aweek   but it still geting me angery when ever i know there togther  
i dont fully trust her and it is tearing me up in side i dont know what to do with all this anger in side me  
i have never cheated on her punished her for what she has done and i have only ever grabed her once out  of anger when she atacted me with a wepon and i had to defend my self   she atact me befor but it was only with her hands and i stood there and took it  but she is only a 20 year old  5 foot 2  size 6  were i am a 30 year old  6 foot 4  14st  ex army bloke  so i new she couldnt hurt me but when she picked up that wepon my training told me to get it out of her hands  
i dont want to hurt her as im still madly in love with her but i dont know how much long i can go on with her saying she want to make it work with me and how much she loves me  with this other girl all ways around putting thing into her head getting her drunk and getting in the way of my happyness  so if anyone could plz  give me some advise i wold be forever thankfull
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Avatar universal
Sounds like the girl is a creep if she is having an affair with another girl. Dump her. U dont want her. It will be way better for u in the end#
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3149845 tn?1452625053
I think shes out of control and you seem like a nice person. With all the madness you describe, im wondering why you say in the begining that you were lucky enough to be her boyfriend. She has some indenty issues and if i were you i would find someone more stable. You are very disciplined being an ex army person and feel you need the same type of person in your life. It will only get worse. She as a habit of attacking you and will contine. Please move on as i dont see anything good coming out of this.
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13167 tn?1327197724
You're 30,  and she's 20.  That right there is a serious mismatch.

I wouldn't fall in to the trap of blaming this other lesbian for what your girlfriend is doing,  BTW.  This is your girlfriend,  and she's acting like a flighty silly little girl.

Making up nonsense rules like she can only see this girl she's having sex with twice a week isn't reasonable.  She either is in a relationship with you,  or she's not,  IMHO.

(BTW,  there are couples who are happy to allow this very open uncommitted sexual behavior,  and that's fine.  Since you're not one of them,  I think you should get out of this relationship and find a woman instead of this flighty little girl).
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3060903 tn?1398568723
I agree with the above posters. You deserve so much more than this craziness.
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I also agree with the above posters.  I would add that perhaps You should seek therapy for YourSelf to understand why You "choose" to be in love with such a Troubled Girl (the age difference is an issue also - She was only 11 years old when You turned 21 !!)

I'm firmly believe that love is a Choice. For some unrealized reason You are CHOOSING to be in love with a GIRL who is:

"10 Years Younger than You"
"has cheated on You"
"has had/is having a lesbian relationship"
"You get angry when You know They are Together"
"You don't fully trust Her"
"It is tearing You up inside"
"You don't know what to do with all the anger inside You"
"She attacked You with a weapon"
"She's attacked You before, but with Her hands"
"She gets drunk"
These are Your words, not mine.  

The only Positive thing You said about this Girl is that She's beautiful.  The world is full of Beautiful Girls, Beautiful Girls that are less troubled than this and that would treat You better than this.  Again, I would suggest You seek therapy to understand Your Willingness to be hurt in this way.  You have the Responsibilty for Your Own Happiness - We can't depend on Others to make Us happy - it's on Us to seek Our Own Happiness - I stress once again, We do, We Really, Really Do Have Choice.

Good Luck
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