should i take this ring back?

[cliopatra]

my husband just bought me my 1st ring (an upgraded setting for my engagement ring).  my 1st one was free as he did a deal and got my ring as part of a deal.
he spent $2000 today and it's the most money he's ever spent in his life on anyone, my husband is extremely cheap and it's embarrassing.  He has alot of money but he goes crazy if he has to buy dinner or he will never ever buy a gift if he has to pay for it.  Today is the 1st time he's ever bought something for me like this and i was so happy that i got to pick finally the engagement ring that i wanted and liked.  i was so happy even though it took a year of going back to the store 6 times and trying it on and comparing it to others and waiting for a sale.  i still was happy today that i cried when he finally bought it to me.  as soon as we got home he started a huge argument with me over a $5 t-shirt that he has hundreds of.  he questioned me why did i give one away i said because the guy did over $300 of work for us and you never paid him $1 and all he wanted was a t-shirt in return for all of his hard work.
he went crazy and said how dare i give away one of his shirts.....  as soon as we got home i felt that he regretted buying me this ring and i could feel the tension building and a fight brewing.  the t-shirt was an excuse to let out anger at me.  I mean this man has a spreadsheet that he updates every single day he lists every single penny that he spends.  when he put my $2000 expense of a ring on his spreadsheet today i could see thats when it fired him up.

Now I feel disgusting and I dont want this ring anymore because i feel he regrets it and it's not given with a good heart, SHOULD I TAKE THIS RING BACK?  the lady at the store said I can take it back and i really feel like doing that.

What should I do?

[sassysissy244]

Do not take the ring back. Of course he has buyer remorse. He will get over it. Wear that ring. Flaunt it, Wear it with absent abondonment. Let him cry because when the babys come, you will cry alone. He will not for a second feel your pain. You are worth a million dollars and more. He will get over it. and the next ring will cost even more. I say keep the darn thing. He may be frugal and there is nothing wrong with that, but he knows you are worth the world to him. You will just have to be patient while he cries over the money. With every tear he sheds mark a dollar amount off the expense of labor and delivery of his first child. Then think if you allow him to skimp on you now he will contiue to skimp on you and the kids. You are worth it.

[tbabi20]

I think he's missing the point of the ring. The ring is a symbol of the two of you together and he should give it with the thought in mind that your worth it. The good you'll give him is more than $2000. The joy it brings you should make him happy. Communicate with him that your happy with the gift but a gift is one that comes from the heart and you feel like it pained him to do an act of love such as this. It kind of seems like he fails to understand what giving is about. When the both of you were together did he not enjoy receiving gifts from you? Why should you feel any different them him when he receives a selfless gift? I'm sorry that your wedding ring experience was tainted by his attitude. I believe that it's really important to share these things before it becomes unbearable and causes more issues...

He seems to me that he's a bit selfish - he should see that his money is no longer just his money, it's your money together. That doesn't mean you abuse it, but understand that we each have needs. Let him learn generosity.

[specialmom]

Well, I think you should have a heart to heart with him.  Sit down and in a calm way just talk.  Tell him that you love the ring and it means so much to you that he bought it for you especially since you  know he really doesn't like to spend money.  Then ask him---------- ask him if he is comfortable with your keeping it.  Tell him that you do not want some "thing" causing issues between you.  And see what he says.

But I must say, there does seem to be something wrong with his hoarding of money and inability to be either generous or fair to other people (someone that does work for him, for example).  I'm wondering why you overlooked this while dating and decided to marry him.  This would  not be a new thing and you chose him anyway.  It is one of those things in which you went into it with your eyes open--------- his reaction to spending money and giving to others has always been there.  Is it fair to have it be something you absolutely hate about him now?  I just bring that up because no-------- I wouldn't like his attitude about money one bit-----------  but you married him knowing he was like that.  

My husband is also very tight with money.  But . ..  what he says is that I (the spender) have brought him to a point where he can spend money and feel good about it.  He tips well, he buys me presents at the appropriate times, and he spoils our kids.  We worked out where I don't spend as much and he spends more and we are more balanced than we were when we were alone.

I wonder if you two work as a team on your finances.  I'd try to do that as well.  It helps.  good luck

[RockRose]

I would consider leaving him,  clio.  Your posts don't say whether you have children or not,  and the fact that he has so much money but won't give even a $5 t-shirt to someone who did $300 worth of work,  you don't want to spend your life with this guy.

Frugal,  careful spenders are great.  This is way beyond that,  he's unwilling to pay what he owes.

I would take the ring back,   and pack and leave.  This kind of mean spirited stinginess will only get worse if you have kids.