Relationships Community
sleeping on my own
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to relationships, abstinence, arousal problems, birth control, cohabitation, commitment, communication, couples counseling, desire, sexual technique, and sexually transmitted diseases (STDs).

Font Size:
A
A
A
Background:
Blank
Blank
Blank
Blank Blank

sleeping on my own

my boyfriend of 5 yrs who is 28 sleeps each night on the sofa and i in the bedroom. i feel lonely. i know it is never gonna change it has not for the last 4 or more years. we have sex one a month when he feels he wants to. we have been trying for a baby for 4 years lol and i now i will never conceive as lack of action. i am 33 and time is running out for me. i am thinking of leaving him in a couple of yrs if no different when my son who is 14 from previous relationship has left school. i want to move down south. i know my boyfriend would never want to move from the town we live in. i wanted a sibling for my son when he was 2. I have wanted another baby for 12 years and my boyfriend knows this. I know he loves me, but i dont even get a cuddle or a kiss. I feel like my heart could turn to stone if i go on like this. I know we are not teenagers but i am sure adults do more than nothing, dont they?
Related Discussions
9 Comments Post a Comment
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
i know how you feel, my boyf sleeps in a separate bed than me cuz my littleone shares my bed hes never settled in a crib so hes in with me  cuz i need sleep and older son in his own bed, his excuse is baby wakes him up thats a crap excuse because he only wakes up at half three in morming and that what time he goes work, have you spoken to him? we've drifted apart well i have cuz i dont feel like ive got a relationship
Blank
973741_tn?1342346373
I am sorry you are feeling this way.  I think communication is really important in a relationship and am wondering if you have sat down and asked him what is up.  I think sleeping can sometimes become a habit and sleeping alone is one of those habits.  Is the room comfortable and to his likely or does he feel like it is your space?  I think you and your boyfriend do sound very distant and that this night time intimacy and lack of sex and overall cuddling are part of that problem.  You are disconnected from one another.  It has been like that for 4 year?  I'd say that you have one shot to try to fix it by opening up to him and asking him to do the same. Try some dates and special time as a couple and TALK!  Do not get pregnant as this relationship may not last.  I'm sorry that it has worked out that way.  But such is life.  I had my first child at 38 and second at 39----  and know women that have healthy pregnancies and children in their early 40's.  So do not feel like this is your last chance to have another child.  It would be terrible to bring a child knowingly into a failed relationship.  If you are leaving . . . do you really want to hang around another 2 years?  Can you move on your own and then down South as you planned?  But I think just staying because will eat you alive.  Give it your best shot to improve the relationship and increase communication and intimacy and then go from there.  And if you have to, literally go.
Kay----  well.  Some people do not like to sleep with a little one. (me).  I would find that very uncomfortable as I am a light sleeper.  And how could you be intimate with a child in bed with you?  But those are just my feelings.  You are entitled to feel however you would like to and people do have a family bed.  Problem is that your bf is telling you that he does not care for that.  So, I'd move your child into his own bed. Do it over the weekend and yes, you'll have about a week of sleepless nights----------  but if it is a barrier to intimacy with your bf then it would be worth it.  I couldn't sleep with my children and I love them dearly.  I would be upset if my husband tried to force me to (luckily, he doesn't want to either).  I also think you need to work on the connection between you and your bf by rekindling the romance and feelings.  Try some dates and open communication.  Have some fun together AWAY from kids.  
Good luck to you both.
Blank
580755_tn?1357673215
I would not recommend bringing a child into a relationship like this. You may want another child for whatever reasons but before you do bring one in think of the child.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi!  U have to what is best for you.  At this time in your life you cannot let someone else dictate what is best for you. You have to be the one in control.  He is not given you what u need and I know cause I have been there before. Have you tried talking with him?  I would sit him down and let him know how serious your feelings are and see if he is willing to make a change. If he is not then it is not worth the aggravation anymore. You deserve happiness.
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
wow u sound like me in a way i meet my boyfriend paul over a year and a haf ago he was soooo in love with me and wonted me to have his first baby right away he was so amazing now 1 baby later he acts like i dont mater no huggs no kisses to he sleeps on the sofa every night i toled him 100 time how it hurts me and i even called him a bad boyfriend and i though he would care enuf to lisson to my feelings and hes still sleeping on the sofa im 24 years old hes 26 he never wonts to have sex now im telling u a baby will never salv any problems between u to i wonna leve my boyfriend bc i know i deserv better .. and u do to
Blank
1006035_tn?1391310794
I don't see a problem with co-sleeping, but that's a different subject. Maybe it would help to get a bigger bed so your child can sleep on your side and not next to him? There are always ways to compromise so that you don't have to sleep separately. I can't imagine that it's much more comfortable to sleep on the couch versus on a bed with a kid.
Blank
1506200_tn?1289884004
In having a relationship it takes two and if your relationship has a babie in the middle that makes three. my suggestion Is if your wanting to keep your husband then you will have to make time for both!
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Hi iv had the same trouble my boy friends 28 and am 21 we have been together  for 5 years he talks to me like rubbish and he wont sleep in the same bed or he wont have sex with me unless he wonts it i realy feel un loved i dnt no weather i should leave him but i love him but i dnt think he loves me any
More i think hes got some 1 else behind my bk but he makes me feel like its my fault and that am going crazy and hes hit me a few times what should i do please help
Blank
Avatar_f_tn
Should i leave him or is it realy me going mad i feel so lossed iv just went to get in bed with him and he got out and went in to another room got in to bed and went a sleep hes left me on me own and the only time he will sleep with me is when hes had a drink but i crnt be that ugley bacardi asked me to be the new face for there drinks and loads off people have asked me 4 my num and told me am way to good 4 him but hes the love offme life and i just feel like a mug now get treated like rubbish i feel so stressed out
Blank
Post a Comment
To
Blank
Weight Tracker
Weight Tracker
Start Tracking Now
Relationships Community Resources
RSS Expert Activity
469720_tn?1388149949
Blank
Abdominal Aortic Aneurysm-treatable... Blank
Oct 04 by Lee Kirksey, MDBlank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
The 3 Essentials to Ending Emotiona...
Sep 18 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
242532_tn?1269553979
Blank
Control Emotional Eating with this ...
Sep 04 by Roger Gould, M.D.Blank
Top Relationships Answerers
13167_tn?1327197724
Blank
RockRose
Austin, TX
1268057_tn?1399131913
Blank
Londres70
France
973741_tn?1342346373
Blank
specialmom
Avatar_f_tn
Blank
TTinKKerBBell
CA
3149845_tn?1415046551
Blank
Life360
fort lauderdale, FL
3060903_tn?1398568723
Blank
Nighthawk61
Other