Hmm okay so me and my girl friend of 11 months recently broke up. There was love in the relationship but problems communitating and spending time together. I originaly tried to get back with her yet she seemed to keep pushing me away after about a month I got with my current girlfriend who's rather attached for such a short time yet I still have feelings for my ex and now she admits to having feelings for me. Now I'm confused any advice?
It's possible that once you weren't her boyfriend any more, the good things about you and the connection you had are more apparent to her, and the bad things about the relationship as it really was are easier for her to overlook.
If you want to seriously think about whether to break off with the second girlfriend and go back to her, I would think about what went wrong with the relationship before and ask yourself whether it will just as likely to happen again. If neither of you has changed very much (and you haven't had much time to do so) the likelihood of having the same issues again if you did get back together is very strong.
I feel for the second girl. Did you at least warn her that she was getting you on the rebound, and that you really felt tugged to the first girl even still?
I wouldn't really hold out a lot of hope that you and the first girl are meant to be. It sounds like you still want to be in a relationship with her, but that she is iffy at best.
I'd agree with Annie 100%. You need to assume what went wrong with the first relationship, see if there has been changes with each of you, and then perhaps there is a chance.... on the other hand, you do have this new girl that is attached. There is nothing wrong with that, and apparently there is soemthing there that drew you to her.
Communication is the key, and there is not a better time to work on communication skills. If there is no communication in a relationship, it will certainly faulter.... sooner or later, the relationship will suffer. (I speak from experience, brother.)
I'd suggest you talk with the current girlfriend. Tell her exactly what you feel for her and the problem that the other girl is still in your thoughts. Pull no punches and be 100% truthful from the start. (Think out what it is that you have to say to the new girlfriend, and dont mess it up) Although there may be some feelings for the old girlfriend, you need to be for sure that the relationship you are in is indeed one you want to be in. If you are compatible, you get along, you enjoy each others company.... why not let this relationship develope? As for the old girlfriend, again.... there was something that ended the relationship in the first place. Find out what that was, see if there has been changes, and then you can evaluate.
There is no right or wrong here, but you owe it to not only yourself but to the current girlfriend. If at the end of the day, the only bad thing she can say about you is that you are 100% truthful.... it aint a bad thing. After looking at and considering all things, tell this girl exactly how you feel. You owe it to not only her, but to yourself. Some things in a relationship are hard to talk about, but being truthful is the key.
If you got one on the line that you had nothing but problems with, you broke up got back together and now she wants you back? Forget her, she knows you are seeing someone else and wants to prove to herself you care more for her than the other gal.
Then you got another one that is getting way too attached way too soon, and your heart yearns for the other one that treats you like crap. My advice to you. Leave both of em alone before you end up being a father way before your time and find yourself stuck in a go nowhere relationship with a lifetime of child support and parental responsibility that you are not ready for. Head games and hormones are your biggest enemies at this point in your life.
Gosh, some good advice here. It is amazing how attractive an old boyfriend can be when he gets a new girlfriend. Some of that psychological stuff happens and I'd be careful with it.
However, on the issue of your current girlfriend. I always recommend a break between relationships for exactly this reason. You've still had feelings all along for your old girlfriend. Whether you get back together or not, that means that your head hasn't been fully in the game with the current girlfriend from the start. This is a bummer because she may be a great girl. But since you started the relationship before you were fully over the other one, it is tainted a bit.
So, I'd think about your current girlfriend and what you really like about her. Don't be with her just to be with someone. If you do feel like you really have a great time with her, care for her and see that it might have the potential to go somewhere down the road, continue the relationship. If not, then break ties before she gets any more emotionally invested. And I'd base this decision on your feelings for HER regardless of the old girlfriend.
I don't know what will happen with that but I would think about this current girlfriend and why you are with her. This may be a clue as to what you should do with the old girlfriend.
Whew------- let me know if that was confusing. I might not have put that exactly the way I wanted. Good luck though.
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