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uh-oh :/
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uh-oh :/

im a married man, and i was separated for a short amount of time. during that time i slept with another woman(yes i know it was wrong). my wife and i are back together and things have never been better for us. it was what we needed to sort through some issues. about a month later i was told through the ''grape vine'' that the woman who i had slept with was ''experiencing signs of pregnancy'''. the timeline works out to this: on the 27th of July we had sex, 3 days later she had her period, then two weeks later she had unprotected sex with another man. I know this woman and her family well, and her mother has made a career out of child support and having kids so she will be coached very well on how to destroy me financially. the timeline is not adding up to me potentially being the father of this child( SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IF SHES PREGNANT BUT SHES TELLING EVERYBODY!!!). i could use some friends right now, and wanted to get some other mens opinions. personally i feel like shes being a drama queen and looking for attention. As bad as it sounds, if this little ***** is not pregnant...i plan on moving on with my life and not telling my wife. our relationship has never been better but i feel like im going to drop dead from cardiac arrest from the stress of this ********.
13 Comments Post a Comment
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973741_tn?1342346373
Ugh, hate stuff like that.  I'm sorry this is happening to you.  

Well, based on your scenario of her period and all . . .  real doubtful you got her pregnant.   You only ovulate for 24 to 48 hours during a cycle and it is mid month.  It is several days before one's period.  Unless she had a fluke month and had another egg release.  RARE.  

I would try not to worry.  if this woman contacts you then you tell her in 9 months you'll take a paternity test.  You don't want to talk to her until then because until then, you have nothing to talk about.  You had sex.  means nothing to you other than you messed up by not using protection.  

then just ignore her.  If you have to tell your wife, that will stink.  If you have lied and said you weren't with anyone during the separation, then this would REALLY stink.  But I'd just lay low and get this marriage going in the right direction.  Glad things are good.  Keep at it.  Don't get distracted by this stuff.  

Oh, I'm not a man by the way. But I hate women that do this kind of thing.  Sex with multiple men and then screaming about whos the baby's dad.  geez.  That is not a responsible way to handle things.  But what is done is done.  Now just wait and I'd guess that there is a 9o percent chance you aren't the father IF she is even pregnant.  

good luck
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Avatar_m_tn
thank you so much for the reply. god knows its nice to hear i might not be the crazy one.
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Avatar_f_tn
HEY! I'm not a man but heres MY opinion! I CAN'T STAND WHEN WOMEN PULL THIS ****! Im serious, It gives us ALL a bad name... MAURY makes a living off this kinda thing! I HIGHLY DOUBT that you got her pregnant! If she wants to say that you did Tell her you will see her in 9 months to be tested! Make it CLEAR you want nothing to do with her,,, I am a little concerned about your wife hearing it from someone other than you! THAT would be TERRIBLE for her.... Im sorry your in this mess.. Yall were separated after all...Mistakes do happen... ALWAYS, ALWAYS, PROTECT YOURSELF! Keep us updated!
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Avatar_m_tn
thank you very much :). i agree, woman like this give the other 99% a bad reputation. if she is indeed pregnant, i will have no choice but to tell my wife....i dont have the right to take the choice to go through this with me away from her.
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Avatar_f_tn
hey there just be carefull with woman loke this .. it happen to us even tho he didnt cheat , a woman he was fooling arouns with when he meet me was apparently pregnant ( after me and him was 2 months together) she said she was 3 mths prego already and didnt know bla bla bla , she always made so much ridiculos stories and i was always tring to open my bf eyes but hw didnt wanna belive me , she than had the baby premature according to her , after a while she started sending pictures of diferent babies witch made me sooo mad came to find out it was all fake and the pictures were taking out of the internet ! so she faked the whole thing ! miserable woman .. so be carefull and listen to ur instincs , but dont keep this secret from ur wifey its gonna tear her apart if she than finds out later !!
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Avatar_f_tn
Idk everyone is telling u to keep this secret from ur wife if it was me I would want to know ive had a similar situation im married now but we were boyfriend nd girlfriend we took a break nd when we saw each other for the first time that love never went away nd r relationship we knew would be better then ever that break helped so much! Nd we were back together but he told me about a girl he slept with:( more then a couple times nd they were gf nf bf when we took r break yes I was hurt so sad for a while and hurt but to this fay im happy he told me secrets ruin a relationship if it happened on ur break y be afraid to tell her she shoild understand u two were on a break technically not together
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Avatar_f_tn
Day* im currently still with him he is now my husband father of my child nd we realized that is the past this is the future ee love each other thats all that matters.  Goof luck to u
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973741_tn?1342346373
There are different theories on the situation.  Sometimes a wife has to know.  Other times, it is better if she doesn't.   If it is going to mess up the reconciliation, it's best to spare her the pain.  He doesn't even know if this woman is really pregnant or he has anything to do with the child.  So, unless his wife has asked and he lied, I wouldn't tell her until he has to.  

I've been married many years.  I'd rather not know if I was in his wife's shoes.  
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Avatar_f_tn
i would like to know .. and make my own decision to stay with the person or not ! i dont think its fair for u to keep this away from fear of loosing her its her choice to stay with u or not in the end of the day !
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Avatar_f_tn
Ya I agree eith vivi im married nd I would want to know its a secrect that if she found out 5 years from now could effect the relationship possibly even more
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1268057_tn?1399131913
In my opinion I would not keep this from your wife.  Secrets of this nature aren't good especially if this other woman is going around telling everyone she is pregnant.  I am certain your name will be mentioned as well.....sooner or later.

"the timeline is not adding up to me potentially being the father of this child( SHE DOESN'T EVEN KNOW IF SHES PREGNANT BUT SHES TELLING EVERYBODY!!!).".............Well, if this other woman is doing this your wife is sooner or later going to find out anyways.  I can imagine your wife will be more upset if someone else tells her vs. you.  Tell your wife or wait until the gossip comes to your wife........your choice.  Either way it isn't going to be good for you as this other woman isn't going to go away anytime soon from the sounds of it.  

"i feel like shes being a drama queen and looking for attention. As bad as it sounds, if this little ***** is not pregnant...i plan on moving on with my life and not telling my wife. our relationship has never been better but i feel like im going to drop dead from cardiac arrest from the stress of this ********."
I am not sure why you are putting the 100% blame on this other woman.  This was an unfortunate terrible judgement call on your part.  I am not sure why it is necessary to call her horrible names.  You even knew the woman's family had a history of doing these things to men yet you chose to sleep with her.  

I wouldn't say this woman gives all women a "bad name," but that you exercised poor judgement as there are dishonest women and men.......you have to gadge and judge the situation better in regards to whom you are dealing with as she didn't force you to sleep with her.  



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973741_tn?1342346373
Since they were separated he says, I think this is something I'd personally keep from her unless it becomes clear that this woman is going to be a problem.  

Everyone is different ----  been married a long time myself.  And feel that if separated, my husband slept with someone, I'd not want to hear about it.  I also didn't want details on my husband's sex life prior to dating him.  This is a little like that.

If she asks him questions, that is one thing.  He doesn't want to lie to her.  But if she doesn't ask, then I see no reason why someone who is separated should tell unless they made an agreement not to sleep with or date other people.  

The problem is that if a couple separates, they clearly have problems.  Trying to reconcile is hard.  If he didn't do anything wrong (and again, unless they agreed not to be with others, then he didn't)----  I don't know why he should offer up the info that could backfire on their working it out.  

He may have to if this woman continues to taunt him but otherwise, I wouldn't.  Just my opinion.  
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1268057_tn?1399131913
I would be apt to say don't tell your wife IF:

1.  You didn't know the woman and her family well.

2.  This woman wasn't going around saying she was pregnant.  

Sounds like she is going to tell everything and there is a high possibility this will get back to your wife.  

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