what is causing my b/f not to want to have sex?

[confused1031]

Hello! I am hoping you guys will be able to help me... my boyfriend and i are both 20 yrs old. We have been living together for 4 months now in our own apartment, our sex life has always been amazing and we usually have sex everyday. About 2 weeks ago we just like stopped having sex.. everytime i want to he says we will later i promise or always puts it off. We haven't had sex for almost 2 weeks now!!! i told him i feel like he isn't attracted to me anymore or something and he said he definately is he just hasn't felt "good". He isn't cheating because he never leaves the house and if he does he takes me with him. also he is only 20 so he shouldn't be having an "erectile dysfunctioning" problems.. can you guys help and tell me any other reasons and what i can do to make it stop lol. Thanks so much!!

[Treeleaves]

it seems in this situation there would be many endless reasons and the only way you will find out is if you speak about it, however you may want to do it indirectly e.g quote you have a friend and she is going through it and what could be the reason, or maybe be direct and ask about his lack of desire by stating 'i feel' sentence rather than with 'you'. so rather than saying 'you are not interested in having sex, or you have changed' try saying 'i feel i am having less sex with you these days,' or i feel worried about the amount of sexual interaction we are having'. do u know if he prefers masterbation. my husband enjoys it and does it when i am not available thus when i am around and want to engage in sex, it is harder to get him involved. if everything is fine emotionally it could be other reasons external to you. good luck

[BethanySublime]

This is pretty far-fetched, but my sister had the same exact thing happen to her, in a similar situation (same age, they live together, & same thing happened).  But what she discovered was that after she was asleep, he would bring out the porn & jerk off.  I honestly couldn't tell you why he chose porn over sex, especially considering he's referred to her as his "sexual ideal" in the past, but I do know that the man has some serious emotional issues.  I doubt the same thing is happening with your boyfriend, but you never know.  Otherwise I would guess he's got some secret down there like an STD or non-sexually transmitted infection.  Have you been able to see his "area" recently?  When you bring sex up, does he get defensive?  Or does he turn you down nonchalantly?  Just some ideas; hopefully it's nothing though.  Good luck!

[peekawho]

That was my first thought, RR.  I read the STD forum too often!  

[RockRose]

could he be afraid he's contracted an STD and he's waiting for the antiobiotic to finish?   I know you say he never leaves the house without you,  but how can that really be that he actually NEVER leaves without you.

I think you need to find out what the problem is.  This isn't like sort of a tapering off,  if he won't have sex with you AT ALL,  even when you keep asking,  I think you need to know what the problem is.

[RockRose]

Haha,  Peek,  me too.  I don't think that would have ever occurred to me a couple months ago,  before reading the daily barrage of men who have some kind of contact with a sex worker and then become riddled with anxiety and guilt about an STD.  

[misscloey]

Maybe he has another issue that he is uncomfortable talking to you about. I think you should just be patient and loving towards him. If he is still there for you in every other way, and you dont have any reason to believe he is seeing anyone else, then just wait it out.

[anxiousmomtobe?]

Back off and leave him be for a bit, see if he makes a move after a while.

Perhaps he is stressed or not feeling well.

Give him space.

let him pursue you....