what should i say???

[madisonnotApeace]

today in algerbra I was righting a pome about the day my dad died an my "freind" for 4 years spits on her hand an wipes it on my paper then colors over it in sharpie when she knows that I have o.c.d about being clean!!!,then writes im tired of this dead dad bullsh** !!! im fuc***** tired of it!!! what should i tell her an is she a good freind HELP!!! :_(

[brice1967]

I agree with Annie above.  You cant really rely on things that kids say, but on the same hand everyone should be responsible for what they say.  It's not like this "friend" is 3 or something.

If she is sick of this "dead dad" bull****, give her a break from it.  Is her dad still alive?  Let her know that You'd be there for her, but that you understand that its not easy to help someone deal with it.  Let her know how much your dad means to you, that you miss him, and that its hard having him on the other side.

If this person is a friend, she ought to snap out of it with a nice talk.  If not, disassociate yourself with this person.  It doesnt mean go into hiding, it simply means that you need some support and if your "friend" isnt going to be there to give it to you, you will find it elsewhere.

You know, I lost my dad too.  I am alot older than you are though.  The thing is, after they are gone, you relaize that there are a lot of things that you still needed to say to them, or things you wanted to say to them, or things you wanted to do with them.....but cant now.  I didnt even have the greatest relationship with my dad, but I miss the guy.  I think he probably did the best he could with what he had.....

Unless you lose someone, you dont know how to feel.  It is that simple.  If this friend has lost a parent/dad and has no feeling of loss, they probably didnt have the best of relationships.  So for them, its probably a "good ridance" type of thing.  For those of us who had good relationships, we often sit and wish we had more opportunities to say I love you.  I learned to not take anything for granted.  Tell evryone you love that you love them as often as you can.

If this person is truly a friend, they will either give you the space you need right now and honor your wishes, or apologize for their insincerity.  Either way, how you grieve is up to you and there is really no right or wrong way.  Just know that life does go on, and there is nothing wrong with missing your Pops....mines been gone for 13 years and I still miss the guy....but life goes on and there is so much to see and do left in my life time, yours as well.

[AnnieBrooke]

I wouldn't rely on kids your own age to know the right thing to do or say about grief or death.  If you want to give her a pass on this outrageous behavior, you could do it once, since she is as young as you, and is not going to know how to act like Mother Theresa might.  But for me, the spitting would be a friendship-ender even if I was not obsessive about cleanliness.  Nobody should spit on someone else.

[penswriter]

No she's not a good friend. I'd dump her asap. Just let her know that you're too different and that it's time to go separate ways.