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why do i keep dreaming of my ex boyfriend?
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why do i keep dreaming of my ex boyfriend?

My ex boyfriend and i broke up 5months ago we were toghter for over a year and since then i have been in a very perfect realtionship with someone else, but everynight for the past 2 weeks i been having dreams of my ex boyfriend. During the day i do NOT think about my ex boyfriend i am over him. All my dreams are about him coming back to me, his new girlfriend leaving him and he wants me back, or about when we broke up. His face is clearly in my dream, his bedroom and car just eveything it feels so real, and then i wake up and im always like what the heck why do i keep dreaming of him?? I am over him, i never think about him during the day just at night, why???

My friend told me that when you dream that you're dreams are trying to tell you something so she thinks that me and my ex could get back toghter? I don't know how true that is, what do you think?
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26 Comments Post a Comment
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362249_tn?1388466108
The same thing happened to me!! It drove me NUTS!! I couldn't take it no more I knew i was in a better relationship and needed my husband dearly so why TF? Well some1 here made a good point there was something i felt bad about or guilty or needed to say to that person!! I did a bad thing but a good thing i got his email told him i thought he was jerk and A$$ and i hated him for what he did to us and our marriage! it was a bad thing all together but at least i can sleep at night now!! And I can move forward in the marriage i want to be in  and be the person my husband deserves!!
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684030_tn?1357024374
Past experiences and relationships have a significant impact on our current lives, whether were aware of it or not. These experiences create impressions (ie. hopes,
fears, anxieties and desires). And, often, those impressions are more easily
processed in our dream state. But, in our dreams, they carry more of a symbolic meaning. So, it doesn't necessarily mean that you want to get back with the ex. Usually, it means that there is something of that past relationship that parallels or correlates with something that is happening in your life, now... and occupying your current thoughts (conscious or subconscious).
And, that "something" could be anything... disappointment, despair, stress, anger, ,joy, happiness, loneliness... etc. Dreams are just a way to express and manifest the way we feel and how we think. But, they're symbolic expressions and manifestations and rarely, if ever, have a literal meaning to them.
Look at the dreams and analyze them... you may think, "...humm, why did I dream that?" or  " why am I dreaming of him?... haven't thought of him in years!" Then, try to see if there's any connection with whatever is going on in your life, right now.
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686059_tn?1293837427
I have to agree with iam1butterfly and maybe some unresloved issue, fear or emotions. Why don't you go on the internet and have your dream analyzed. I had a dream of a deceased friend who told me in a dream to tell her youngest daughter to bring the holy water. I woke up very unsettled, because one of her daughters has cancer...she died two weeks after my dream. And just last week I dreampt that my father was having a heart attack....that is my fear of losing him, since my mother died of a heart attach. Fear and not sleeping properly caused these dreams, but there is a website that you can send them your dream and they will interpret them for you...good luck.
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Avatar_f_tn
A guy that I was involved with for a number of years-totally reshaped my life-in reality and in my dreams. I haven't spoke with him or seen him at all in several months. I am currently in 5 year relationship with another guy now, but am still plagued by dreams of my ex boyfriend. They are always the same-he or I always are trying to get back together with the other, but can't because of our new situations, both having moved on from one another over the years. I always wake up feeling sad and empty-although I am not sure why. He was never anything but misery for me when we were seeing each other. He was never faithful and only seemed to want me when he had nothing better going on at the time. I don't think about him during the day, so can't understand why I am plagued with constant dreams of him at night. Most are so vivid it feels as though I have really seen him, which makes me feel guilty somehow-like part of me is cheating on my current relationship. I have dreamt of him three times this week alone. What is going on?

Kris in Wy
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1655856_tn?1302105715
I was with my ex for over 12 year, these were happy times, childhood sweethearts.  I ended the relationship and left the country.  It's now over 21 years since our brake up.  But from early last year I've been dreaming of him constantly.  The dreams are always good, like it was in the 12 years relationship.  It's like we are still so in love.  We are still friends, but he is married with children.  I am single with no kids.  
Can someone tell me why am dreaming of him so much.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Hi Pritea.  You can always start your own thread by hitting "Post a Question" and you may get more responses.  You've tagged onto the end of an older post here and sometimes those get missed.

Anyway, welcome to med help.  I would guess that you are feeling lonely in your life right now and have some regrets about ending that relationship.  You may wonder what could have been which would be natural.  So it is on your mind and then it shows itself through your dreams.  But . . . they are just dreams.  

What I would suggest is going ahead and working on adding to your life right now.  You are currently not dating and maybe this is something you are longing for.  I know sometimes this can be easier said than done but branching out into some different areas may increase the potential of meeting someone special.  Join a book club, a volunteer group, a gym, etc.  If you stick to things that interest you---- well, you'll meet people with common interests.  

So, I think it is just your subconsious telling you that you miss someone in your life and would like the next person to be special.  

Good luck and sweet dreams!
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1605559_tn?1314796678
I agree with a lot that was said here.  I don't think you should take your dream as a "sign" that you and your ex should be back together.  I just think it means that, buried in your subconscious, there are thoughts of him.  Five years after my divorce, I still have dreams about my ex-wife.  Likening it to your situation, I think there is an attachment there and there probably always will be despite the fact of what someone may put us through emotionally and/or physically in some cases.  I had to accept the fact that it will continue to happen and just move on.  Some dreams are very emotional (such as we cry and make up) and some dreams are even more sexualized than that - those I feel guilty about sometimes but we can't help what we dream.  This is actually fairly normal.  Sometimes we have unresolved issues and that's another point.  I actually became engaged a few years after the divorce but we broke up as well.  However, she and I had good, full closure so, ironically, over the past couple of years she has only popped up in one dream and not to the length of the ex-wife.  So, ensure you resolve your issues with the ex and move on in real life.  
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Avatar_f_tn
I have been having dreams about my ex although we broke up last year we are still in contact.. I am now in a relationship with with someone and expecting a child by my new bf...why does my ex keep coming to my dreams yes I still love him
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Avatar_f_tn
I keep having these dreams about my X and his new girlfriend. Of course I still love him and think about him, but I want to move on wit my life and stop loving him so much and stop letting it hold me back from moving on. I had a dream last night about him and his girlfriend. First his girlfriend and I were friends and then we became enemies. What could this be telling me? Her and I don't physically know each other. We have seen each other at the job before and that's about it.
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Avatar_f_tn
Yes oh my god! This is happening to me also! I hate it I freaking hate sooo much! I keep dreaming of my ex constantly over and over again. And when I wake up I feel weird like wth? I'm over him, but with these dreams I keep having now I think of him. I don't talk to him no more. Me and him were really in love but than he cheated on me and broke up with me. He tore my heart apart. It took me a long time to recover because my life seemed usless without him. I'm over him! But he still in my dreams,I kant stand it anymore it driving krazzyyy! I don't know what to do anymore!! I kant have a normal dream without him being there.. I dnt know why I dream him constatnly,sometimes I dream him dream after dream after dream! Ugh! :/
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Avatar_f_tn
I keep having dreams about my ex fiance Dominick, we were together for a little over a year & then he cheated on me with my best friend. We did nothing but fight our entire relationship & broke up & got back together at least 8 times until finally he wouldn't take me back anymore. We've been broken up for 3 years now I believe and I am with a new person we are engaged & having my first child. I have been with this new person for almost 2 years and I am 100% happy with him, he makes my world complete so why do I keep having dreams of getting back together with my ex when in reality I want nothing to do with him. I actually kinda hate him & I don't talk to or see him at all. I don't understand, & when I wake up I feel angry about dreaming of him again or confused or sometimes even guilty because like someone mentioned I kinda feel like my mind is cheating on my new fiance. I just want the dreams to stop but no matter how hard I try, they won't.
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Avatar_f_tn
My boyfriend and I broke it off about 2 weeks ago. It was ended through text after a really bad misunderstanding. Every morning when I awake the thought of him is there and I instantly get angry. I dream of him every night. I'm sick of it! He said some really mean things to me in the end, would that be the reason he WON'T leave my mind?
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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, he's in your subconsious.  This is all very new flywyn.   I would read a book, watch the news (I mean, a tornado might be more pleasant to dream about than him at this point, right?  :>) )  or something like that to PUT your mind somewhere else before sleeping.  

I do occasionally dream about an ex boyfriend and I've been with my husband for 15 years.  Who knows why?  I also dream about Brad Pitt (who is NOT my ex boyfriend) once in a blue moon too.  The mind is a funny thing and dreams are sometimes fun and sometimes painful.  

Put other thoughts into your head before drifting off to sleep and the dreams of him should lesson.  Sorry for your heartache.  peace
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Avatar_f_tn
I just had a dream of my first love but that was over 20 years ago in my dream he left me something in a safe deposit box they called me to go get it and in it were contents of a letter and his frozen sperm it was very wierd cause h amd his wife were there mind you we were pregnant when I was 15 but had a miscarrage (miscarriage) his wife is his rebound from me.. I chat with her every now n then he has.heart problems now but in my dream he just kept looking at me like he used too!! I know he truly loved me I cheated on him but his wife says he always cheated on me I guess we were even but the dream woke me up out of my sleep confused and worried about him thanks
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1699742_tn?1307057911
OH MY GOSH I HAD THE SAME PROBLEM!!! My ex and i broke up 8months ago and i went out with one of my best guy friends (happy 8 month anniversary) and i kept having these weird dreams about my ex, im over him...but then again im still hurting from the break up...even though i broke up with him. But my dreams consisted of him wanting me back, even though he had a girfriend.
But eventually those dreams went away for me, maybe these dreams will go away for you too.
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1617861_tn?1313495154
I've had the same 'dilemma' but for over 40 years.  I am 58.  My first Love, at age 16, I'm still In Love with, always have been.  I've had dreams about him on and off for the past 40 or so.  They haven't let up.  I feel the relationships I've had since our breakup, mostly due to my parents, have ruined any relationships I've had ever since, so, I remain single today.  But, no complaints because I'm fine flying Solo.

I just dream about "Earl" all the time.  This last dream I had he was having a hard time with his appearance because he was having a difficult time 'aging.'  I told him in the dream that to me, he looks exactly the same as he did way back when.  He'd be only 60 today.  That really isn't considered "old" anymore.

Anyway, the dreams continue and I even had one where we actually got back together, and I still have those dreams to this day as though it were right around the corner.  In one dream, I told him "you are the Love of my Life."  That is how I feel, even now.  So, one never knows....  I only know, we had a ton of laughs together and got along splendidly.  But, I had very strict parents who thought holding hands was vulgar!  So, there you have it.

So, I guess it really is personal what your dreams mean.  For me, I am not lonely, I've never been a lonely individual.  I Love who I am, I Love my Life and whom I've become.  But, I was in Love 'once' and it was with Earl.  That's my honest story.  It's true, Genuine Love never leaves you or goes away, it remains, for what ever reasons.  I accept that graciously.

Corinne.
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973741_tn?1342346373
The truth about dreams is that they are simply the subconscious way of working out issues.  The do not mean more than that.  That we are destined to be with the person we dream about (or I'd be Mrs. Brad Pitt).  We can influence what we dream about by what we think about as we go to sleep as well (turn off upsetting things or if you don't want to dream of an ex, you can do things like read a book and go immediately to sleep after.)  

glad you are not sad corinne.  Don't let a teenage romance hold you hostage.  I'm glad you've made a good life for yourself otherwise.  good luck
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4250330_tn?1388624779
Most people that dream about there ex usually have something to tell them or either you mis him and your just telling yourself your over him but your really not ? Maybe taking time to think if u have something to tell him or something like that ..
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Avatar_f_tn
This happen when someone is in real love..u and ur ex bf love each other so our dream telling u to be together again u guts neeed each other ..and that's true love
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Avatar_m_tn
i am wondering as well, i kept on dreaming about my ex but i was totally over him. our realationship was over for almost 8 years now. but when i dream about him the feelings still the same and it seems so real. im really wondering why coz i ddnt even think about him
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5974753_tn?1379619227
Lots of comments!!
The dreams may be telling you that there's still unresolved issues with a person you at one time bonded with whether good or bad. Emotionally you may have had such peak moments of intimacy a d fulfillment that the other will always be a part of you in that way. When something going on in your life triggers this 'lost' bond it's quite possible that you end up with such amazingly out of place dreams or so it seems!  We're complex creatures with a conscious / subconscious self. Our wants & needs aren't always met and so perhaps our dream life tries to work out scenes where these are fulfilled?  Just a thought. A suggestion would be to spend concerted effort to think through old flame and your relationship. Write out pros n cons, the goods n bads about them and how you both interacted etc. You are likely to see fuller pic as to why you're not together and that may help to ease you mind so the dreams go away. Lastly want to say that we all have losses in our life that continue to haunt us. Perhaps if you write a letter of good bye telling of good n bad to person but making it final for all time it would help. Don't even have to send it off. It's just the process that counts. Best to all.
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Avatar_f_tn
I am not giving you a direct answer on this but I have been interested in learning about dreaming and why we dream about things similar to this. Our unconscious mind tends to take over when we are sleeping and by this, during the day you are probably thinking about him through little things that might remind you of him but not necessarily thinking directly of him. Our unconscious mind becomes aware of all of this when we are sleeping. So this is why a lot of people have dreams about things they have seen over the day. I had a boyfriend (we've been broken up for 2 years now) we had a horrible break up and I am not the biggest fan of him, but lately I too have also have had dreams about him. It's hard to pin point why we dream the dreams we do. Studies haven't really been that accurate in telling us why we even dream.
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Avatar_f_tn
My very first love started back in the 3rd grade. When high school came around we started an on again off again that was very hard for me bc he cheated on me with a few people and actually conceived a child by someone I thought was ky close friend. Well I met the guy i thought i would spend the rest of my life with but I cheated on him with my ex . I found out I was pregnant , dateswere matching my ex and I's fling...well I miscarried and went on to having 3 kids by the other guy(the one I thought i was going to spend my life with) . Just recently I started dreaming of my ex , and in my dream I told him about the miscarriage and i dont know if this is telling me I should tell him or if its just my way of expressing the want of him being my childrens father :(?? I feel like I should have been the one to have his children not that close friend of mine. Although I know everything works out just the way it is supposed to for its own reason I still wish I never miscarried.
Has anyone else dealt with something like this
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Avatar_f_tn
I often think of my ex I was with him for seven yrs. when I think of him there is a life event that happens in his life. I think is so weird! We haven't been together in 9yrs...and just recently I've been thinking of him all the time and now dreaming of him! I hate it! I know I still love him but he is not good for me! Ugh
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh forgot I also smell sweet smells out of nowhere and then they disappear ...
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Avatar_m_tn
when i read you comment it was like you are describing my situation.
I've been with my ex for 8 months , he was just cheating on me and every time he apologize and makes me believe that its going to be the last time. I really loved him and had fun with him.However, we stopped talking a year ago,and i got into a new relationship. All my dreams are about wanting me back , and regretting that we broke up and that he really felt bad when i got into a new relationship... it hurts because he actually meant to me a while ago and i dont know what do the dreams mean.. someone help please
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