would all of u put up with this?

[miamigirl1981]

ok here is the story of my life since jon....we met 7 years ago and fell madly inlove with one another...so starry eyed world stopped etc etc......ok he had no car or real job at the time wither and lived at home only because i told him he coulnt be with me if he was going to live with his partying buddy and be a drug dealer...so he quit that lifestyle and moved to his dads house to be with me....my parents were so against us it was so hard...i was only 21 he was 25....anyway we wanted to be together so we worked all summer long to get enough money to move into our first apt...he found a job bartending as i did too while going to school..we moved in together and everything was really nice for a while...we were just enjoying being together, spending all day in bed, going to diners at 2 am ..u know all the usual fun stuff at the beginning of a relationship...we had planned to be together forever,,he gave me his moms engagement ring. she had passed away before we had met...
ok then i find out i am pregnant...my family finally accepts jon...we moved in to one of their houses so we could be close to family...he supporst us while i am pregnant working at the gay bar bartending 6 nights a week making about 1200$ per week...ok money...so my son is born and it really hard being new parents and him having to bartend every night....then the place he works turns into a straight club and they want him to run the whole thing...basically i am a new mom and he has now been given a nightclub to do whatever with, needless to say he also gets a big head..i do enjoy it in the beginning..my family is actually proud of jon for first time, they also help with baby so i can go to the club a night or two a week...this club turns into the biggest thing in the whole state, small state but still...there is tons of **** that i dont like starting to happen, drugs being thrown at him all night, girls all around...******** hours, him being hung over all the time and not helping at all with baby....i would wake up at 4 am and there would be poepl in our house doing cocaine and being loud..c'mon this is not the life i wanted with jon!  then we have a fight in public at the club one night in front of everyone.i got drunk and snapped at him and said some awful things that he still throws in my face 5 years later.  out of spite and to get his attention i announced i was going to go to nyc and audition to be a "scores girl" (for everyone who doesnt watch howard stern or know gentlemens club, scores in nyc is or was the most elite strip club in the world girls make anywhere from 2000$- 20,0000/ night) jon at first laughed and said i would never have the balls to get up there and do it, then he encouraged me...i was so confused.   anyway i went and they loved me and i took the job as a big **** u i can support myself now and i wont be needing to put up with all this anymore because u support me. i was friends with the owners of jons club  and i called them and told them what the job they gave to jon is doing to him and his family...soon after they fired him..i personally believed it was out of compassion for his well being, they knew all the partying he was doing..some noghts he would stay up for 4 -5 dys at a time...wtf!
so now i was driving to nyc about 2 hours away like 3 nights a week and jay was sittting home taking care of the baby on those nights and during the day after because i would get home at 5 am some nights...he was clean again and jobless again and i was happy to have him  be ok....
u know a lot of my friends were like how can u take hime back andi think the main reason is because i knew that he never cheated on me, i would have heard and i just know. our fights didnt  have to do with girls more drugs and partying....
so by now i am making at least 3k a week and things are ok again but i can see he is depressed....what started out as a joke or just attention getter idnow how we are eating...i am a topless dancer hanging out with celebrites and athletes and models in nyc and he is home changing the diapers.
soon i become one of the most popular girls there and am aked to go open the new club in miami and do all the press for it, like howard stern and all the newspaper and magazines....i was so excited to go to fl..thats where i became friends with kaylee...kaylee had an apt on the upper east side in nyc she needed to s ublet because her sugardaddy she was now dating got her a really nice apt...i jumped at the chance...how many bedroom? 2 perfect i will take it! with out even having to see it...do u know how hard it is to get an apt in nyc??i came home to tell jon...i got an apt in nyc..do u want to come with me and the baby? here was his chance to go, if thats what he wanted...he looked right into my eyes and i could feel his love still very strong, he asked me if i still wanted him after he failed me? i felt so bad for him i could never have just left him...u also dont know the story of why he is such a mess...but his hard life of mom dying and living in group and foster homes is another story completely, this is just our story....
so off to nyc we went .....i loved out neighborhood...we were on an adventure again..just the three of us again...i was dancing 2-4 nights a week and he was mainly the one taking care of the house and baby...i was ok with it, my family was too i guess...it was kind of embarrassing...but we survived living in a 5 story walk up (no elevator) with two tiny tiny bedooms and one bath that was so small their wasnt a sink in it..hahha u havent seen a tiny home until u have been in one considered small by nyc standards...i was coonsistantly making more money and had regular customers who would come and see me....one in particular was a japanese man named jimmy....he would come every time i worked  and spend thousands...he was oung and a real sweet but dorky man who fell in love with me....he had lost his fiance in 9/11 and i made him laugh and feel again...he became one of my good friends who knew nothing about my personal life, like that i had a baby and a fiance...i strated going to dinner with him once a week and then i would go to his apt and dance privately for him for like a half hour...sometimes we would just talk and i wouldnt have to take my dress off..please dont interpret this as i was a big prostitute...he never treated me like that except that he would give me money but as a gift...i never asked for it but he knew i was struggling living in nyc  is expensive...although he never knew i was supporting a whole family of 3! he would usually give me 2,000$ cash everytime we hung out..to be continued...

[GRose]

This sounds like a movie. What are you asking? What are you putting up with? The fact that he no longer works? No, I wouldn't put up with, tell him to go and get a real job, or if he wants to be a bartender he needs to be responsible and not get plastered. I understand that being a bartender he wont get home until 4 or 5 since he has to clean up but it doesn't mean he needs to get drunk or do cocaine or any other drugs. He could work at a more low key bar not a club.

[Shara21]

Sounds like you've got alot going on here.
I'm wondering what exactly is going on with this guy who you do private dances for in his apartment.... i guess i will find out when you continue the story... =P
I cant very well tell you if he should have a job or not... The childcare in the States sounds insanely expensive so you may only break even if you both work... i dont know...

I'm also not sure what you're asking if you should put up with...
the whole doing coke in your house.... man... i would NEVER allow that in a house with a child. One of my old roomates came home one morning (like 2-3am) with a bunch of friends, I came downstaires to see them doing coke off the kitchen table... there have been VERY few times in my life that i have ever freaked out like that... Cocaine is a messed up drug... I dont like what it does to people... it REALLY f**ks with people and i wouldnt trust someone to bring in my groceries on it, let alone be near my baby.

Please let us know exactly what you're aking =P i think we're all a little bit confused here!

[miamigirl1981]

please keep an eye out for part two of this story to get the whole picture as of the end of the one above we are only in year 2005....and we are still together today so there is lots more to tell...then i need all of your opinion on what to do after hearing everything i have been through and am still going through....thank u so much, love u all!

[teko]

Honestly, It sounds like you are about to go on a downward spiral. Are you actually happy living like that. I do not c how a relationship/family enviroment can survive this for too long. I will stay tuned as well.

[pcarsey]

Not really sure what you are asking as the story is for some reason or another on a "to be continued" basis. Are you asking if you should put up with him and his wrong doings or should he put up with you and your "doings"? It seems to me during this segment of the saga that you have put up with his doings.... so the rest will be commented on when we know more...


let the saga continue....

[iam1butterfly]

I agree with the other comments, here. It sounds as though there's a lot of "drama" and distraction in your lives. If what you want is to restore the passion, fireworks and the simplicty that you initially had in this relationship then, go back to basics... quit the "dancing" and, don't have him accepting work in bars. Find employment that is more compatable with the lifestyle of a couple raising an infant. But, if the primary focus is "the money," which has led to these unorthodox career choices; then, it appears that the relationship is headed for deep trouble, if it isn't in trouble already!