What you have described sounds very serious. It would not be helpful to speculate on his disease. Whatever it may be, he is losing the battle. He may have to be hospitalized and he could be in danger of death. You must persuade him to be seen by a doctor. If your urging doesn't convince him, I suggest you contact his parents, his siblings, his employer or any close friend and ask for assistance in getting your boy friend to a doctor or perhaps an emergency room. He needs proper, comprehensive testing so that the appropriate treatment can be started.
An eight pound weight loss is never a good thing for a previously healthy man.
He's scared to death of doctors but he's desperately ill. Hmmmm...the proverbial rock and hard place.
I would ask him point blank what everyone around him is supposed to do when he gets worse, which he indeed could. Are you just supposed to sit around and watch? His illness is getting to the point where it is affecting everyone around him, and it is not fair to you that his inability to deal with his fears forces you to watch this little scenario play out. He will indeed have only "X" amount of time left if the theater continues. Someone has to make a stand.
My husband'd blood pressure was sky high back in the early 80's. I was in the same (but not as desperate) situation that you are in. I was pregnant at the time and furious that he wouldn't deal with it. I finally said that I was making an appointment for him and he had to call and cancel it. I did, he didn't, and ultimately ended up taking life-saving blood pressure meds, which he is still taking. You must do something equally if not more dramatic to get him to come to his senses. He also sounds like he was dealing with depression before all this happened.
An infection can ultimately end up with his developing sepsis - bacteria in the blood. This is fatal unless he is put on antibiotics. Even if he gets antibiotics, there is no guarantee that they will work quickly enough.
He could have something else going on besides an infection. Just because he has impacted wisdom teeth doesn't mean that this is the problem. He needs to be seen by a doc pronto.
Good luck.
first comment - get him some psychological treatment to get over the fear of doctors - something simple left untreated might escalate into something serious - better to get it sorted out earlier rather than later.
the headaches could be from dehydration from vomitting. Same with the weight loss - malnutirtion from vommiting food. If he got some anti-emetic treatment from the doctor he should be able to keep food and fluid down - He needs to face his fear and do the right thing. Not easy but very important.
Boy, he sounds pretty sick to me! He could easily have some sort of nasty infection. Does he cough anything up when he coughs? I personally experience severe coughing, vomiting as well as the headaches whenever I get a severe chest infection, particularly pneumonia. Is he running any fevers? In any case, a doctor would be his best bet, he or she will be better able to diagnose him...Lung infections can be treated, but if they aren't, sometimes the infection can become systemic, a far worse scenario. I wish you luck with him, don't give up! -Sunny