Is it wrong to just give in cigarettes forever?

I feel like the smoker with the least willpower in the world - Ive tried so hard to quit so many times, and I always relapse, no matter how hard I try!

I start out with good intentions, but I always break down, then sneaking 4 or 5 cigarettes a day, grows back up to smoking 10 cigarettes a day, then smoking 15 cigarettes a day, then 20 cigarettes a day, then 25, then 30...

before I know it, I find myself wearing nicotine patches, or chewing nicotine gum - and back up to smoking two packs a day in no time.

Its like, sometimes I almost thing that trying to quit only makes things worse. I used to hardly ever actually smoke three packs a day when sober, I mean, its one thing at the bar, but its another thing to be stone cold sober and still puffing thru that third pack.

Its so pathetic, it just makes me want to cry. I know Im only just barely in my 30s, and that Im already having some health problems which are probably from my smoking, but Im so sick of the shakes and withdrawal symptons I get everytime I try to quit - I just want to throw the towel in and give in to my slavish addiction to cigarettes forever.

I know a hundred of you will tell me I can do it, and I can quit and not to loose hope - and thats great that you think that - I wish I believed it too.... but what Im wondering is whether there is anybody on this website who was willing to just own up to the fact that they knew they were addicted to cigarettes and that they couldnt give them up, and just accepted that fact and stopped beating themselves up over it ?  I feel like Im at that point, and I dont want to find myself alone.


Thanks again so much for all your help and support!  

[Paderla Anitha, DNB]

Hello and hope you are doing well.

Understand your predicament. But you started, which is good enough. Just keep at it.
            
Smoking not only causes lung and bladder cancer it also has cardiovascular effects. Smoking in the long term can damage the vessels permanently. It causes damage to the lining of the blood vessel leading to deposition of fat and formation of plague. So the vessel lumen diameter is decreased. This cannot be undone, but quitting smoking will not further damage the vessel. So, try to prevent further damages.

Hope this helped and do keep us posted.