It is likely that your children have some type of
reactiveReactive arthritis airway problem that gets expressed as you have described. This may or may not be asthma. Of course, exposure to any irritant, such as smoke or lots of dust, could aggravate such a condition. While these social situations often are in the middle of medical problems, it is probably best to have your doctor check the children for asthma and determine if exposure to smoke is in fact increasing the problem or not. If the children do not have
reactiveReactive arthritis airways, this may
simplySimply sleep be one child passing on viral infections to the other and back again. This is also not uncommon in children, particularly young children and those in day care.
I can't explain the link between your partner and you becoming ill at the same time.
Hope this helps. It would be worth asking your pediatrician about it.