Aa
I'm scared, please help
I am a 27 year old white male. A couple months ago I tested for all diseases and abstained and was clean and negative which is great. 3 weeks ago I had another man whom I met online masturbate me with his hand. My lips and perhaps tongue also in the heat of moment went across his chest and I licked his earlobe. I also sucked his nipples. His upper chest appeared red and had a rash. I didn't notice rashes anywhere else. I was wondering if this could be syphillis? I commonly get cold sores in my mouth and now I have one in my tongue and I'm not sure if I bit my tongue because it looks like it but I don't remember doing it. Should I be concerned? I also french-kissed a different guy 2 weeks ago. I live in Danbury, CT and it says that there was only 1 case of primary & secondary syphillis reported last year in this city and 64 for the whole state, 27 were among whites. Should I be worried? Also, I am concerned if I did have a sore on let's say my lips and my mom kissed me when she sees me can I pass it to her? I appreciate your time.
Vinny. No, I'm afraid that I'm not a doctor. However, I try not to answer any questions without a decent amount of research. Like you, I've agonized over questions like these for many years of my early sexual life and I've had and still occasionally have concerns over the "what if" scenarios.
The fact that you haven't any any form of penetrative sex would lead me to conclude that the likelihood of you contracting HIV is non-existent. French kissing could potentially expose you to:
Herpes: High (with sores) Moderate to low (without sores)
Mono: High
Strep: High
Gonorrhea: Very Low. (Moderate if he just blew someone or has oral infection)
Syphilis: Low (Moderate if sores on or in mouth present)
Chlamydia: None
As for masturbation:
Herpes: Moderate to High (if you docked or rubbed cocks together and he had sores)
HPV: Moderate to High (High if warts were present)
Gonorrhea: Low
Syphilis: Low (unless he has sores but who masturbates with open sores on their ****)
HIV: Extremely Low to non-existant
Chlamydia: None
So.. the point here is you have to understand why you're feeling so anxious. You may feel guilty and that combined with anxiety can cause nearly any symptom in the book. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about HIV and just be on the look out for any potential herpes sores or warts. But you should be fine.
The fact that you haven't any any form of penetrative sex would lead me to conclude that the likelihood of you contracting HIV is non-existent. French kissing could potentially expose you to:
Herpes: High (with sores) Moderate to low (without sores)
Mono: High
Strep: High
Gonorrhea: Very Low. (Moderate if he just blew someone or has oral infection)
Syphilis: Low (Moderate if sores on or in mouth present)
Chlamydia: None
As for masturbation:
Herpes: Moderate to High (if you docked or rubbed cocks together and he had sores)
HPV: Moderate to High (High if warts were present)
Gonorrhea: Low
Syphilis: Low (unless he has sores but who masturbates with open sores on their ****)
HIV: Extremely Low to non-existant
Chlamydia: None
So.. the point here is you have to understand why you're feeling so anxious. You may feel guilty and that combined with anxiety can cause nearly any symptom in the book. If I were you, I wouldn't worry about HIV and just be on the look out for any potential herpes sores or warts. But you should be fine.
Thanks for the response. Are u just a member or a doctor? I have not had oral, anal or vaginal sex at all. From what I described to you do you think I'd be negative for syphilis and HIV? I only french-kissed for maybe 2 or 3 minutes at most? Could he have had a syphilis sore and I catch it? I didn't see any semen when he masturbated me, I know he precame, I don't think that was on his hand that touched me but unsure. There is a chance he precame on his hand then briefly touched my penis with that hand.
Ah.. one more thing. Its very, very tempting to run HIV tests early. Some places will offer antigen testing, PCR testing, viral load testing, and pooling sampling. While each of these could give you a little earlier warning of an infection, the gold standard is to wait 3 months and do the standard Elisa antibody testing. A negative result there is conclusive.
The other thing to consider is antigen testing, PCR, and pooling samples are typically used to screen plasma and blood from donation centers, and they're not the best thing to use to obtain a diagnosis. Plus they're pricey to run. They can cost a couple hundred bucks easy.
If you're really anxious, you can run a standard antibody test at 6 weeks. 90% of people will seroconvert by then. If you're negative at 6 weeks.. you're likelihood of seroconverting is small. Retest at 3 months for conclusive results.
The other thing to consider is antigen testing, PCR, and pooling samples are typically used to screen plasma and blood from donation centers, and they're not the best thing to use to obtain a diagnosis. Plus they're pricey to run. They can cost a couple hundred bucks easy.
If you're really anxious, you can run a standard antibody test at 6 weeks. 90% of people will seroconvert by then. If you're negative at 6 weeks.. you're likelihood of seroconverting is small. Retest at 3 months for conclusive results.
Vinny...
Try to relax buddy. I know these are stressful times. There's some anxiety there with the STD question and issues with you being gay. A lot of your reaction could be stemming from an over developed sense of guilt. Whatever the results are...you're going to be ok. Lets take a look at what you asked.
Masturbation with his hand: Not an issue. Only potential concern would be if he used his sperm as a form of lubricant. That's usually not a good idea. Spit is better than spunk, but ultimately if you're gonna mutually masturbate, just make sure to use lubricant.
Licking Chest, earlobes and nipples: Not a problem. The only possibility I could see here would be if the guy isn't physically clean and you licked up potential bacteria from his skin. That might result in a sore throat or something...but these activities are consider very safe. STDs? Nope.
Red and Rash chest: This could be anything...but doesn't sound likely for an STD. There's plenty of skin conditions that could cause a rash or redness of the chest. I apply testosterone gel to my chest every morning and it causes it to be red. Heck, it could be the type of soap he uses. Most likely this means nothing.
Cold Sores: Since its in your mouth, not outside, I'm assuming you mean a canker sore. Theses aren't a good thing to have if you're having oral sex. They do decrease the integrity of your mouth's mucus lining and make you more vulnerable to infection. Deep kissing is only an issue for HIV if there's visible blood involved. But generally deep kissing only poses a large risk for Herpes of all kinds, Mono, Strep, and less potentially Gonorrhea and Syphilis.
Kissing Mom: Well, if you're having a herpes outbreak, yes you can give that to your mom..but most likely you've already been exposed to Herpes Simplex 1 as a child. Can you give her anything else with a closed mouth kiss? Nah.
As for where to go for treatment. I'd look into a free clinic if you're afraid to go to your relative/doctor. I can understand your apprehension. The whole gay issue is a tough one to navigate. If you go to a free clinic, its likely you'll have your results in one to two weeks after testing.
False negatives are always possible on any test...however, I'd say that you can trust the results. If you do get a positive on something, you should always get retested to ensure the results.
As for waiting 3 months? Yes.. that's the best amount of time to wait for HIV testing and Herpes testing. Gonorrhea and Chlamydia can be tested on average of 4 to 7 days, Syphilis should wait about 3 to 4 weeks preferably.
Try to relax buddy. I know these are stressful times. There's some anxiety there with the STD question and issues with you being gay. A lot of your reaction could be stemming from an over developed sense of guilt. Whatever the results are...you're going to be ok. Lets take a look at what you asked.
Masturbation with his hand: Not an issue. Only potential concern would be if he used his sperm as a form of lubricant. That's usually not a good idea. Spit is better than spunk, but ultimately if you're gonna mutually masturbate, just make sure to use lubricant.
Licking Chest, earlobes and nipples: Not a problem. The only possibility I could see here would be if the guy isn't physically clean and you licked up potential bacteria from his skin. That might result in a sore throat or something...but these activities are consider very safe. STDs? Nope.
Red and Rash chest: This could be anything...but doesn't sound likely for an STD. There's plenty of skin conditions that could cause a rash or redness of the chest. I apply testosterone gel to my chest every morning and it causes it to be red. Heck, it could be the type of soap he uses. Most likely this means nothing.
Cold Sores: Since its in your mouth, not outside, I'm assuming you mean a canker sore. Theses aren't a good thing to have if you're having oral sex. They do decrease the integrity of your mouth's mucus lining and make you more vulnerable to infection. Deep kissing is only an issue for HIV if there's visible blood involved. But generally deep kissing only poses a large risk for Herpes of all kinds, Mono, Strep, and less potentially Gonorrhea and Syphilis.
Kissing Mom: Well, if you're having a herpes outbreak, yes you can give that to your mom..but most likely you've already been exposed to Herpes Simplex 1 as a child. Can you give her anything else with a closed mouth kiss? Nah.
As for where to go for treatment. I'd look into a free clinic if you're afraid to go to your relative/doctor. I can understand your apprehension. The whole gay issue is a tough one to navigate. If you go to a free clinic, its likely you'll have your results in one to two weeks after testing.
False negatives are always possible on any test...however, I'd say that you can trust the results. If you do get a positive on something, you should always get retested to ensure the results.
As for waiting 3 months? Yes.. that's the best amount of time to wait for HIV testing and Herpes testing. Gonorrhea and Chlamydia can be tested on average of 4 to 7 days, Syphilis should wait about 3 to 4 weeks preferably.
Also, I am not "out" and no one knows that I am gay. I don't want to go again to my regular doctor because I am afraid to tell him this and ashamed because it is a family member. If I go to a free clinic like the Department of Health that gives free STD testings are they usually safe and how soon could I get tested? Are there chances of false-negative results? Or even a false-positive? Should I wait 3 months?
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Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
