Thank you all for your responses. It doesn't change the situation but it helps me feel better. whittsey1
I agree totally.
I don't know why she thinks the aunt might have an std, but she needs to know that about 80% will have HPV in their lives, 1 in 4 have genital herpes type 2, and up to 80% have oral hsv1.
She'd have to totally isolate the child, and that's not healthy at all. Her paranoia will cause more harm to the child than contact with his aunt will.
AJ
STD stands for sexually transmitted disease. Your daughter-in-law has paranoia issues or is uneducated about STDs.
It is true that Herpes, i.e. HSV1 and HSV2 can be transmitted in saliva.
HSV1 is commonly transmitted. In fact it is VERY NORMAL for it to be transmitted from relatives to children. 60% of the US population has it. It is NOT considered an STD. If the sister-in-law has HSV1, she is not the only one among your family and friends. HSV1 is something that most people catch as a child, similar to chickenpox. HSV1 causes cold sores. People with cold sores should not kiss anyone while they have cold sores. They should keep their hands clean. (Personally if I had active cold sores, I would not touch a child at that time.) Sometimes HSV1 can occur on fingers. If someone has sores on their fingers the same rules apply.
HSV2 is considered a sexually transmitted disease. Its occurrence orally is RARE. Its occurrence on fingers is RARE. Its transmission orally is RARE. Most cases of transmission from adult to child are in cases of abuse.
In general, a mother should look out for cold sores and finger sores before people touch her child. I always look at people's hands when I shake them. (I saw sores on someones hands once and did not shake hands.)
If STD's were transmitted with casual contact as your daughter-in-law suggests, EVERYONE in the world would have an STD.
I think your daughter-in-law has an unwarranted fear of her sister-in-law transmitting STD's to your grandchildren.
I think that you should research STD's and try to get your daughter-in-law to understand that they are called STD's for a reason.
I hope I helped.