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anxiety after every sexual encounter

I have read a lot of posts on here.  I really don't have anything about std's to ask except is there anyway to reduce my phobia about stds (especially herpes which scares me the most.)  Everytime I have a sexual encounter I get really bad anxiety and think I am going to have a herpes breakout.  I am prescribed to valuim because I have came to see my doctor many times about std checks.  Usually a pimple in my pubic hair or something sets me off.  I know anxiety has a lot to do with a lot of different pain and sensations in the pelvic region.  Can you give me some advice on how to calm down these anxieties.  It does help to know that only 3% of partners contract herpes from there partner in a year.  I just tend to get drunk and randomly hook up with a girl and then freak out for the next month.
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Avatar universal
giu
Thanks Grace,

Do you think this will ever go away?  Or is it a permanent thing?  If you even have any idea, because i'm stumped.

Thanks,

Giu
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101028 tn?1419603004
It's anxiety.  It needs talk therapy to learn better ways of dealing with stress.

If you are only having sex with partners who you've both been tested for std's, then you know their status and know you have nothing to be afraid of. If a partner does test + for a std, it can be dealt with before you start being sexually active together. Even herpes can be gotten down to a 1-2% risk/year of transmission as long as the person infected knows they are infected.  Condoms also help a heck of a lot too with all std's especially if they go on when the clothes come off and not just wait until actual insertion to apply them.

grace
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Avatar universal
giu
oh my god. I have the same problem and didn't know anyone else felt that way...
Mine started this year where i started getting paranoid about having warts... then i got the hpv first shot vaccination (helps but doesn't cure it) and im in a phase now again about warts.  I hook up with a few guys consistently that i know are clean and ALWAYS use a condom. Yes Totally paranoid even with that, but it comes after.  Shaving!?  Makes it worse. Started getting bad ingrown hairs that would freak me out so i had lazer removal done a few times but ingrown hairs still come up now and again.  

I have no idea what it is, anxiety?  Guilt from the lifestyle?  It makes me so mad because im a strong minded person, who is very social and fun.  I can't talk to anyone else about it because they just dont understand the irrational paranoia.  Getting checked helps for piece of mind but it doesn't last long.  I went to a therapist for a while but it didn't seem to help too much (and is expensive)  I try to just tell myself i'm being stupid but the stress is still there.

I don't know if it helps you to know, but i feel the same way.  Any ideas yet?
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Avatar universal
I agree with Vance. The best way to deal with something like this is through therapy. You sound like you have some insight into your issue... and even just recognizing that an issue is exists is a great start. There is a lot of scare tactics and stigma associated with STDs in our society, so it is no wonder that people freak out about them. However, it sounds like there is something more to your concerns and pattern of behavior. Valium can help ease the anxiety and give you an opportunity to work on the root of the problems.

Best of luck..
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Avatar universal
Start seeing a therapist. Best way to deal with something is to talk about it.
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