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Avatar universal

really really scared and frustrated


I am scared. I was irresponsible.My husband and I were having problems recently. I was feeling so ugly and despondent (I suffer from bipolar depression and is currently using ante-depression) and I ended up having sex with someone I barely knew and now I am having a problem. I am afraid to go to the doctor, my husband will kill me for sure. I started itching all over my body about one or two weeks after the encounter. I also noticed some dark spots on the inner skin of my vagina, but they are not turning into sores or anything. they were not itching or burning until maybe two days ago. Its now two months since. I have been getting some buttons on my skin, like when a mosquito bite you. none of them got infected or anything like that. I do not have any sores anywhere including my mouth. my eyes are always itching doh and someone told me there was a slight yellow color to the right one. I have tried to get pictures on the various STD's but none of the photos are similar to what I have seen. could this be an yeast infection or herpes. I don't know how I allowed myself to be so irresponsible, since I am scared to death about getting AIDS. please help. I am going crazy.
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Avatar universal
Thank you for giving me at least some measure of peace. while I will still expect the unexpected, I can face this a little less apprehensive. I will make that appointment, I will not get the results for about three weeks. Things are kinda slow in the Caribbean. But at least now I know I will do it. Thanks again for your support.
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207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
I can't say for certain if you have HIV or not, but your symptoms are not from HIV.  HIV doesn't cause symptoms like that.

I'm so happy for you that you went and got your meds, and talked to your counselor.

If a man won't talk to you for a week because you refused sex, that's not good, hon.

Please make an appt with your doc, and let her know what's going on.  They can work something out so he can get treated if you have something, and will know how to protect you.  I wouldn't tell him anything until you have some positive results.  If you test negative, there is no need to tell him.

AJ
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Avatar universal
Hi again. I did not get the test yet. I am really scared about the results and how I will tell him if something is wrong. I went to my mental health clinic on Thursday and started to take my meds. I got depakote and they increased the dosage a little bit. My counsellor also told me I should get the test and seek advice on how I will deal with the results from the health care provider. I am more worried about his response now, because last week I was too tired to have sex with him and he ghot really pissed off. He did not hit me or anything, but we haven't spoken since then. I had a mental break down yesterday and almost could not go to work.
I think I need to leave him, but I don't know how. I am ashamed that I was weak enough to sleep with someone I hardly knew and I am now trying to find a way to avoid any similar mistakes in this life time, especially if everything is okay with me.  My doctor told me not to beat myself up. He says if I take the meds I would better be able to control my decisions. But how can I want to survive an illness that makes me too weak to ensure I protect myself from harm.
anyway. I know this is a different forum. But I wanted to let you know I have resolved to get answers before the week is out. Thanks for all your help so far. both you and scared_half_to_death. I have one question though. Could anyone at least give me some level of mental ease.
Could this at all be HIV or AIDS. Whether or not it is, I will still do the test, but at least I will be half expecting it. a maybe answer could work.
A NO would be even better.
none of my symptoms have not changed or worsened in anyway.
Helpful - 0
207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
Symptoms can develop at any time.

What concerns me more is that you are neglecting your own health because of this man.  You wouldn't have gotten a bi-polar diagnosis without having real signs and symptoms of it, so you need to take those meds.  

PLEASE seek help for this.  I don't know what country you are in, but please speak to your doc or a nurse at his office about referrrals to domestic violence programs, mental health organizations, and where to get some good therapy.  If you have bi-polar, you need help, and if you are afraid of him, you need help for that too.

You don't need to live this way.

Get these symptoms checked out, too.  Your health is very important.

AJ
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
oh I may have been too jumpy. But I am not getting any itching or burning. It never lasted more than a day. now there is nothing more than the dark spots, they are not getting infected in any way, not getting worse. they are just there. I think the lines in the center of my hands are fading though, if that is possible. could someone tell me how soon after an encounter the symptoms are evident. it has been about two months two weeks now.
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Avatar universal
yes I am. He is very hands on in the way he deals with things. If I gave him something, he may want to hit me. But I think more than that I have to see about myself. I was diagnosed with bipolar depression, I started treatment, but stopped after he told me I was just looking trying to get attention and that nothing was wrong with me. I totally flipped out after he went drinking and liming early one morning during Christmas. That was about about two weeks before the encounter. He had to bathe me so I can regain my composure. and well after that decision I made to sleep with someone I barely knew, well I really think I need help now. Thanks for your views on my situation.
Helpful - 0
207091 tn?1337709493
COMMUNITY LEADER
It doesn't sound like an std, but you should be tested.

Are you afraid of your husband?  If you are, you should contact a domestic violence organization for help.

AJ
Helpful - 0
Avatar universal
You could take a herpes test now for piece of mind. However, it is not confirmatory until 3-4 months.
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Avatar universal
It does not sound like herpes
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Avatar universal
End of December. could this be Herpes or just a yeast infection?
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Avatar universal
You can go and get tested at Planned Parenthood. You do not have to give them insurance. It should not be that expensive to get fully tested.

How long has it been since the encounter?
Helpful - 0
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