A night of indiscretion

[dendr]

I  met a friend(recently divorced, 50 years old) and his new girl friend (39 years old)  for dinner and drinks. Several drinks later I realized that I was not able to drive home.  My friend graciously offered to drive me back to his new place and that I could pick up my car the following morning.  When we arrived at his  place, I immediately went for a bottle of vodka to make drinks.  It was a new bottle with a metal seal.  Upon trying to open it, I cut my finger, it bled pretty good and I was given a band-aid.  Within the hour the three of us were naked in the hottub, when my friend left the hottub, one thing led to another, his girlfriend and I started making out. I noticed that the band-aid had come off my finger and was floating in the tub, I scooped it up and threw it out of the tub.    Thats pretty much the last thing I remember. Waking up on his couch the next morning I noticed the exposed cut on my left index finger. It wasn't until I arrived home that I realized that I may have used that finger during our makeout session in the hot tub ( there may have been penetration!) Being a married monogmous man, I certainly never expected to put myself in that position.  There were many sleepless nights to follow.  Two weeks later I developed a "24 hour" flu with severe vomiting and diarreha, with a slight fever.  It lasted from 12 midnight to about 5 am.  The next day I felt better but stayed on the couch for the rest of the weekend suffering from dehydration.  Approximately 1 week later my wife developed the same thing and then her mother the next day. That week I started feeling ill again, I basically stopped eating; I had no appetite. Riddled with guilt and concern I decided to call my friend's girlfriend to discuss our encounter.  During our conversation I specifically asked her if I penetrated her with my finger.  She said no," she would have remembered that".  We were both pretty drunk so I don't know how reliable her memory was.  Since then I have continued to lose my appetite and have lost approximately 8 lbs.I visited my doctor and discussed my concerns.  At about 5.5 weeks following the possible exposure I was tested for HIV and the results were negative. I have had no other symptoms other than some pain in my groin and in my neck and absolutely no appetite.  My doctor felt no swelling in those regions.  He felt that my lack of eating and appetite was due to stress and precribed some medication.  With the medication and the results of the test I was doing much better.  MY wife and I took a four day trip and all seemed to be well.  When I returned the eating problems came back and I have gone from a very healthy appetite to a non-existant one.   I am concerned that the 5.5 week test after possible exposure is not long enough, and if there was penetration what is the risk of exposure and does the fact that it was underwater reduce or increase the risk? Also is the loss of appetite for several weeks a tell-tale sign of possible infection?

[H. Hunter Handsfield, M.D.]

You could not have acquired HIV or any other STD from the non-exposure you describe--even if you had penetrated her vagina with your cut finger.  If you're worried about contamination through spa water, forget it.  You didn't need HIV testing, but in any case the 5 week negative test result should be reassuring.  The symptoms you describe do not sound like HIV, but they are highly suggestive of an emotional response.

Bottom line:  Relax.  If you happen to turn up with HIV someday, it will not be because of the events you describe.  But follow up with your own doctor for personal recommendations.

Good luck--  HHH, MD

[dendr]

You referred to the possibility of a cut finger penetrating her vagina as a "non-exposure".  My understanding was to the contrary. Am I misunderstanding you? Thanks in advance for your comments.