I am sorry to hear of your situation but you have posted on the wrong site. Questions about HIV belong on the HIV prevention site. I will do my best to answer your questions with this reply but, if you have additional questions or follow-up they must be on the HIV Prevention site. Sorry.
Your risk for HIV from the single exposure you describe is low. For starters, chances are that your partner did not have HIV. Secondly, even if she did, your risk for infection is low. Only 1 in 1000
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Vaginal discharge sexual exposures with infected partners results in HIV transmission. Your 3 week test result will provide further useful information as at that time close to 90% of infections acquired 3 weeks earlier will be detectable. You do not need to wait for 12 weeks to get a definitive answer, a repeat test at 8 weeks would capture any remaining infections.
I hope this helps. Try not to worry. EWH