So, as you might be able to tell by my name, I'm paranoid about these bumps I have in my pubic area-you can see the post about that just below this one, or a few posts below it.
I am so frustrated with the paranoia of it. I'm starting to feel like I want to get tested, but I'm low on money, have no health insurance, and I am really not looking forward to the extremely stressful time when I wait to hear what's going on with me.
But I'm not going to have sex with anyone until I do. I don't want to be that guy that gave some innocent girl an ugly, dirty STD.
But on the other hand, it pisses me off to think of living the rest of my life as a leper, or someone with a scarlet letter. It's hard enough to get laid without telling someone you have an STD first.
I don't feel like I deserve an STD! I don't feel like I've been that sexually promiscuous compared to most people (based on what they say at least). I've had about 5-7 sexual partners in my life, only two of them more than once. In the past 6 years, I have only had sex with 4 people, 2 of them only once. Basically, I've averaged about 1-2 sexual partners a year since I lost my virginity when I was 18.
I never even thought, or worried much about STD's until I was with my ex-gf, we didn't give each other any, but she worried about them a lot and was very careful, and I guess I adopted that attitude too.
But look at the world we live in: sex is everywhere, promiscuity is almost encouraged. Think of the alpha male types that all the girls want to sleep with...how many STD's do they have? How many STD's do famous actors, singers, and athletes have? Do you think that's gonna stop them from getting laid anytime they want to?
I mean, it's really kind of insane...we push casual sex like it's going out of style, then we treat people who have STD's like they are nothing more THAN an STD! Just a dirty person who has sex with other dirty people.
And on top of all this, are STD's really that bad? I go read all of this stuff saying "You may never notice any symptoms of it, even if you have it".
How is it a DISEASE if you don't notice it, or if all that you notice is a few tiny pustules in your pubic area, that don't hurt you, make you sick, or even make you itch that much?
I mean, what the hell?
So if I'm gonna be a leper for the rest of my life because I'm responsible, and meanwhile, all these other people are gonna be out mating like rabbits, and passing STD's without knowing, or even caring, to innocent people who don't have any....what the hell?
Am I really gonna die happier knowing I never passed an STD? Or are they going to die happier knowing they never cared about STD's, and they had lots of great, varied sex and all they had to deal with was some weird bumps and some itching from time to time. I mean, to me, really good sex is worth a few bumps and some itching.
It's like what makes STD's so bad is just the stigma attached to them. I mean what if normal, mild facial acne was an STD? Everyone would freak out about it, and it would be this scarlet letter, but in reality, all it is is a few pimples that come and go, and nothing else!
I mean, why does it have to be this way? Sometimes I think it's an overreaction. I mean yeah, you look at some of these pictures and they are really bad, but that's not how most people's STD's look, otherwise people wouldn't spread them so easily! I think the rule should be, that if the other person's genitals look clean enough to still arouse you, it shouldn't count as an STD.
But that's not the way it is, and people freak out about STD's and I just can't take the risk of being the guy who gave some girl something.
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