I have had OCD issues with herpes in the past, and I thought I got over it, but now something new has happened.
I noticed that I have been having really bad pain in my anal area (so bad I had trouble walking yesterday and was almost crying from the pain), so I took a mirror and looked. I found three ulcers on one side (two deeper, white-colored ones and one shallow one), and one shallow one on the other side. They are all painful, but the deeper ones are the worst. My groin lymph nodes also feel tender.
I only have one partner now, and he was a virgin when we met (no naked skin to skin contact before either, just oral sex). I am worried that I had herpes before him, and that it is just now manifesting.
1. Is it true that most recurrent herpes is only on one side of the body? Given this fact, can I infer that this is probably not herpes, since it is on both sides of my anus?
2. I have never had anal sex or done anything sexual regarding my anal area, so given this fact, it could not be an initial herpes outbreak, right? Since those occur where the physical contact originally occurred? My boyfriend and I have had oral sex, and the saliva might have dripped down to my anus, but I am experiencing absolutely no symptoms in the vulva area (where the oral sex was actually performed) or anywhere else.
3. Would you think that this is herpes? It just looks so scary!
4. Is it true that most anal ulceration is not caused by herpes, but by hard stools, etc?
5. Do you think I am just letting my anxiety get the best of me again?
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