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Anxious, Depressed over one bad judgment call with massage parlor, STD or HIV
Hi,
before i would like to thank people that has posted various helpful information and conditions about std(s) and hiv in this forum.i have been reading them for almost half a day until decided to ask the question specific to my conditions. sorry if its a bit long but i really need some closure over this, yes i know testing is important but the wait is killing me. i have a business to run and the absent of my mind due to this obsession can cause financial disaster to my company.
i am (or was) a faithful husband with 2 happy and healthy children, living a normal and healthy life apart from my weight problem. long story short, since my wife gave birth to the second child our sex life has completely changed because my wife felt a bit difficult to engage into a sex drive after delivery. i have been very understanding of her condition until 2 days ago i made a bad judgement call by stopping by a sensual massage parlor.
during the massage service, the lady tried to put on a condom but since my sex drive is still dormant (weak penis) its a bit difficult to put it on until i stupidly asked to penetrate unprotected. she declined and continue massaging my penis until i (even more) stupidly forcing her to do it unprotected (driven with my prolonged sex craving, it got stiffed). she then felt bad because i am about to pay a service that i didn't get and she agrees to do it unprotected. i am such a dumb ***.
currently;
i am now covered in guilt, i have been anxious, i cannot sleep, even if i sleep i wake up soaked in sweat, i constantly thinking of the future of my children and relationship with my lovely wife.
here is the specific conditions that took place in the event;
1. this particular massage lady is very hygienic, she asked me to wait for 5 minutes while she brush her teeth, soaked her mouth with dental mouthwash, asked me to soaked my mouth in dental mouth wash as well.
2. she also wash her self so many times with soap BEFORE and AFTER sex.
3. i am 32 years old, CIRCUMCISED when i reached puberty
4. this is my ONE AND ONLY encounter with unprotected sex outside my marriage. (which i wish i can undo).
5. because my poor sex drive, the penetration ONLY LAST 10-15 seconds and i ejaculated outside her.
6. afterwards i kept asking her whether she is clean? she said she always use protection but there were times where she was not. i called the parlor to ask about their staff's health and std(s) and they claimed they maintain a weekly check and results is negative, but then again the guy could be lying for the sake of his business.
here is my questions;
1. this has been 2 days, my stomach is tight, i am now a bit constipated but frequently urinating (normal color, does not hurt). usually i have a very good bowel movement and steady urination.
2. because i have been reading so many articles about std and hiv infections in various forum, i constantly checking my vitals and i found my body is a bit warm (but i have been experiencing this a couple of times before).
i have read many similar articles, but the wait for test is killing me. WHAT ARE MY CHANCES that i caught and STD or even worse HIV. i was always a positive guy, going through all of my difficult time without my parents since college until now i owned my own company. i am about to commit into buying a house with long mortgage and having to know there is a timer of 10-15 years in your life and not being able to see your own grandchild has put me into a stop in every aspect of my daily life.
i am trying my best to conceal my anxiety from people around me, especially my wife and children.
please, i am seeking help here.
before i would like to thank people that has posted various helpful information and conditions about std(s) and hiv in this forum.i have been reading them for almost half a day until decided to ask the question specific to my conditions. sorry if its a bit long but i really need some closure over this, yes i know testing is important but the wait is killing me. i have a business to run and the absent of my mind due to this obsession can cause financial disaster to my company.
i am (or was) a faithful husband with 2 happy and healthy children, living a normal and healthy life apart from my weight problem. long story short, since my wife gave birth to the second child our sex life has completely changed because my wife felt a bit difficult to engage into a sex drive after delivery. i have been very understanding of her condition until 2 days ago i made a bad judgement call by stopping by a sensual massage parlor.
during the massage service, the lady tried to put on a condom but since my sex drive is still dormant (weak penis) its a bit difficult to put it on until i stupidly asked to penetrate unprotected. she declined and continue massaging my penis until i (even more) stupidly forcing her to do it unprotected (driven with my prolonged sex craving, it got stiffed). she then felt bad because i am about to pay a service that i didn't get and she agrees to do it unprotected. i am such a dumb ***.
currently;
i am now covered in guilt, i have been anxious, i cannot sleep, even if i sleep i wake up soaked in sweat, i constantly thinking of the future of my children and relationship with my lovely wife.
here is the specific conditions that took place in the event;
1. this particular massage lady is very hygienic, she asked me to wait for 5 minutes while she brush her teeth, soaked her mouth with dental mouthwash, asked me to soaked my mouth in dental mouth wash as well.
2. she also wash her self so many times with soap BEFORE and AFTER sex.
3. i am 32 years old, CIRCUMCISED when i reached puberty
4. this is my ONE AND ONLY encounter with unprotected sex outside my marriage. (which i wish i can undo).
5. because my poor sex drive, the penetration ONLY LAST 10-15 seconds and i ejaculated outside her.
6. afterwards i kept asking her whether she is clean? she said she always use protection but there were times where she was not. i called the parlor to ask about their staff's health and std(s) and they claimed they maintain a weekly check and results is negative, but then again the guy could be lying for the sake of his business.
here is my questions;
1. this has been 2 days, my stomach is tight, i am now a bit constipated but frequently urinating (normal color, does not hurt). usually i have a very good bowel movement and steady urination.
2. because i have been reading so many articles about std and hiv infections in various forum, i constantly checking my vitals and i found my body is a bit warm (but i have been experiencing this a couple of times before).
i have read many similar articles, but the wait for test is killing me. WHAT ARE MY CHANCES that i caught and STD or even worse HIV. i was always a positive guy, going through all of my difficult time without my parents since college until now i owned my own company. i am about to commit into buying a house with long mortgage and having to know there is a timer of 10-15 years in your life and not being able to see your own grandchild has put me into a stop in every aspect of my daily life.
i am trying my best to conceal my anxiety from people around me, especially my wife and children.
please, i am seeking help here.
Hi,
Thank you for taking time to answer my question. I highly appreciate it.
Another day has passed and like you recommended test is surely a must regardless of anything.
Today (day 3), my frequent urination has return to normal and my bowel movement is better than yesterday. Also last night my sleep is well, no sweat and I didn't wake up till morning.
My urine is clear yellow, when you said a white discharge you meant a solid white?
My stomach is also no longer tight, it felt relax.
Could it be my paranoia that caused me to sweat, constipate and triggered the related std-like symptoms? Or is it too early to tell?
Please help ...
Thank you for taking time to answer my question. I highly appreciate it.
Another day has passed and like you recommended test is surely a must regardless of anything.
Today (day 3), my frequent urination has return to normal and my bowel movement is better than yesterday. Also last night my sleep is well, no sweat and I didn't wake up till morning.
My urine is clear yellow, when you said a white discharge you meant a solid white?
My stomach is also no longer tight, it felt relax.
Could it be my paranoia that caused me to sweat, constipate and triggered the related std-like symptoms? Or is it too early to tell?
Please help ...
COMMUNITY LEADER
Hi, lets begin by saying that testing for std,s is recommended when you have a white discharge or burning while urinating or urethra itching OR if you have a long time partner.
If at 5 days you dont have any of these then most likely your ok but for your wifes sake you should get tested for all stds,s including HIV.
When we speak of HIV we dont confirm through symptoms or odds but by testing only.
If at 5 days you dont have any of these then most likely your ok but for your wifes sake you should get tested for all stds,s including HIV.
When we speak of HIV we dont confirm through symptoms or odds but by testing only.
fyi. my warm body might as well because of the cold weather and i have been sitting in bed for most of the time during day and night due to obsession about my fear.
i'm now becoming sensitive to slight sores in feet, hands and checking my throat for sores, constantly drinking water to smooth it.
my positive mind is telling me that this is not std related but i cannot help the fact the fear has taken away my rational side of the brain.
help please.
i'm now becoming sensitive to slight sores in feet, hands and checking my throat for sores, constantly drinking water to smooth it.
my positive mind is telling me that this is not std related but i cannot help the fact the fear has taken away my rational side of the brain.
help please.
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You are reading content posted in the STDs / STIs Community
Herpes spreads by oral, vaginal and anal sex.
Herpes sores blister, then burst, scab and heal.
STIs are the most common cause of genital sores.
Millions of people are diagnosed with STDs in the U.S. each year.
STDs can't be transmitted by casual contact, like hugging or touching.
Syphilis is an STD that is transmitted by oral, genital and anal sex.
