You can relax. First, genital herpes simply does not occur without genital intercourse--penis inside vagina, anus, or mouth. "Rubbing up against" a person doesn't do it. Or if it does, it is too rare to worry about; I have never seen such a case.
Second, your symptoms do not sound like those of herpes. When initial genital herpes causes symptoms, the localized manifestations are generally more prominent than you are experiencing: overt blisters/lesions of the penis, lymph node swelling in the groin, etc. I have never seen a case of initial genital herpes that caused the aching/burning symptoms you describe without overt genital lesions. It is hard to interpret the subtle redness and marks you are seeing on your penis, but they do not sound like herpes.
Most likely your symptoms are unrelated entirely to the sexual event you describe Or, if related, it is because you caught a garden-variety virus (e.g., a respiratory infection) from her, not an STD. If your symptoms go away and do not recur, and you do not develop typical genital lesions, you can be pretty confident you don't have herpes. (You could be tested for HSV-2, but even if positive, I would not conclude you caught it during that event or that herpes explains your symptoms.)
Good luck-- HHH, MD
HHH, MD