Dear Dr. HHH:
Sorry to bother you, but I am extremely scared right now. I got french kissed by a "gay" guy at a party. Even though I realized that it was risky to kiss him, and I spit out some of my saliva after kissing, I still developed a blister on my lipe the next day, which might be herpes. However, I'm more concerned about its transmission of HIV. If that guy had herpes outbreak when he kissed me, and if he was HIV+, what were my chances of catching HIV? is it possible for me to get HIV at all? (I believed that I did not have cuts in my mouth that day.)
Also, I got HIV test about 40 days after the incident had happened, and the result was negative. But I heard that the virus may not be detectable within 3 months. So I'm wondering if my test was valid. Thank you very much for answering my question!
Transmission of HIV by kissing just doesn't occur--at least it is so rare that nobody has ever documented it, with or without herpes. And your negative test 40 days later is virtually 100% assurance you aren't infected. Official recommendations indeed are to wait until 3 months, but almost nobody who is negative at 4-6 weeks goes on to become positive at 3 months.
Think through the odds (I have done this exercise before, but maybe helpful for people to see it again): Assume there is a 20% chance the guy you kissed is HIV positive. Assume there is one chance in 100,000 you could have got infected. (The actual chance probably is closer to 1 in a million.) Now add that 95% of infected people will have positive tests at 40 days. (It's probably more like 98-99%.) The math works out like this: 0.2 x 0.00001 x 0.05 = 0.0000001, i.e. one in 10 million. That is the maximum chance you caught HIV; your actual risk probably is 1 in 100 million or lower.
So if you'll feel better having yet another negative test at 3 months, feel free. It will be negative.
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