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We both went to the doctor's yesterday and it was a surreal experience to say the least. Well, it wasn't a yeast infection...it was a syphilis outbreak. I have been a carrier for i don't know how long and I must have had a flare up which made my boyfriend contract it and have a huge flare up. We are waiting for the results from the lab but we are almost certain that's what it is. The preliminary results said that I am negative for the virus but we won't know for sure until we get the precise results from the lab. It's really a shockAcute respiratory distress syndrome Cardiogenic shock Electroconvulsive therapy Hepatic ischemia Hypoglycemia Hypovolemic shock Lithotripsy Shock Toxic shock syndrome because I've never had any symptoms but the doctor did say that a woman's symptoms are internal. We were both given penicillin shots which freaked us both out. Luckily, this is curable and if it is in fact syphilis it is in the early stages so the "major" affects have been dodged. At this point I'm really assessing my life and the medical treatment and diagnoses I have gotten form past doctors. I was very ignorant to exactly how std tests were given. I did not know that syphilis and herpes tests were blood tests and needed to be requested. I thought that by going for my annual gyn exam, I would be tested for ALL std's and/or given information about testing and treatment. This is a life lesson learned. I'm not sure if my relationship will make it through this ordeal although with the knowledge we received yesterday my boyfriend is a bit calmer. Please everyone, get tested for std's and request them at your checkups. I'm even thinking of getting tested every 3 to 6 months so there will never be any surprises again. Forums like this and other sites on line are a great place to read up on these virus's so when you go to your doctor you have informed questions to ask and you are getting knowledge form a plethora of sources!
If you've had syphilis for more than 6 weeks or so, your results should have been positive. If this is indeed a syphilis infection, and you've both been monogamous for 6 months, one of you should have a positive test result.
If its negative for both of you, then you need to test for herpes, if you didn't already.
I'm sorry that you are disappointed in medical care regarding stds. Unfortunately, what's happened is not all that uncommon.
There is a roller coaster of emotions right now. My boyfriend trying to be understanding of the situation an handle it the best way he can but he understandably has concerns with trust and with the relationship although I did not come into this knowing that I was a carrier. We have to keep getting tested to make sure the virus is out of our system so while he may be fine with one penicillin shot I may have to have one or two more since I am not sure how long I've had it. I also have to call a couple of ex boyfriends to make sure they get tested for syphilis as well. I hope my boyfriend and I can move on past this eventually but my biggest concern now is that we both get well! Thanks for checking in.
If your blood test results come back negative, this is a new infection for you, ok? New as in less than 6 weeks old.
You don't even have results yet, so don't panic.
Its also possible that one of your yeast infections was actually a syphilis sore, and you missed it.
And honestly, I don't see the big issue of trust here. You didn't know. You've only been together for 6 months, so its quite possible that you had an old infection, and really truly didn't know about it.
If your test proves to be an old infection - and get copies of the results - then he has jumped to the wrong conclusions, and that's not fair to you. There is another thread going on here about an old syphilis infection, too. It happens.
Just to give an update. I just got the results from one of my blood tests and I am positive for herpes 1 and negative for herpes 2. I have never had a cold sore on my mouth or had any vaginal symptoms. I am now waiting for the blood work that was done for syphilis for myself and my boyfriend. I spoke with my doctor but am wondering if I could have transmitted herpes 1 to my partner sexually. My doctor did tell me that herpes 1 on the genitals could have similar symptoms to what my boyfriend has. Do you have any insight on this? I know I have to wait for the hard results but I am really anxious right now.
It's been 2 weeks and my syphilis results still haven't come back :-(. My boyfriend, or maybe I should say ex boyfriend now, says that he was told he needed to come in for his results which is making him even more upset right now. I can't believe any of this is happening right now... the lack of information given by the medical community, the long wait for test results and the lack of understanding and anger I am getting from my partner. I feel extremely stressed out right now because I don't know what's happening! I guess all I can do is wait until I get ALL the facts
Have you called for your syphilis results? It only takes a few hours to run the tests, so 2 weeks is TOO LONG to wait. I'd have the doctor's office call the lab and check on it.
I'm sorry your bf is gone, and I'm sorry you are going through this.
So here is the latest update. My boyfriend has tested positive for herpes 2 while I have tested negative for herpes 2 but positive for herpes 1. This makes no sense to me. What's happening here? Do you know what this could be? How can I have 1 and he have 2?
That means that he got this before you, or from someone else while you were together. You had nothing to do with his hsv2 infection. Its quite possible that he had it before and never knew it. You should test again in a few months to see if you now have hsv2.
You probably got hsv1orally as a kid, like most people.
So does this mean neither of you had syphilis?
I'm sorry your relationship ended over this, especially since it turns out you did nothing wrong.
We both tested negative for syphilis. This is a huge mess because I want to be there for him emotionally but he is so irrational and emotional that he will not listen to the facts. He is completely blaming me for giving him 2 even though I told him my test results show I am negative for 2. I even checked with my doctor to know if I was given the more accurate herpes exam and I was. My boyfriend has even told me his aunt's (who is a doctor) "expert" opinion. She told him that the number of the herpes tells you the location (genitals or orally). From what I have read and been told that is not true.
My ex ex boyfriend told me he had herpes 1 but I was never diagnosed with it so I didn't know I had it and I didn't know that it could be transmitted to the genitals. I was misinformed or just not informed at all. This is the first time I have been diagnosed with herpes 1.
I have made another appointment to get another full examination and testing on the 29th of this month.
Thank you so much for your expertise. You really have been a big help throughout this ordeal!!!
You are right - the number denotes the strain of the virus, not the location. Your hsv1 result is probably from an oral infection you got as a kid, from a relative or play mate. Over half of adults will test positive for it, whether they've had a cold sore or not.
A good thing for him to read is the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com - it was written by one of the leading herpes experts.
I'm sorry he is so irrational. Tell him to read the handbook, and then it might be time to leave him alone. In all his freaking, and your worry, have either of you wondered about who is supporting you? You are still affected.
So now we finally reach the final chapter in my story. It turns out (I didn't even ask) that my bf spoke with a counselor today who told him that he in fact has Herpes1 not 2! He was so calm in telling me that he is going to get medication after the weekend and no WE need to talk about what WE need to do so that WE can prevent further outbreaks from happening (medication). AJ, at this point I am extremely drained and I don't want to do anything with him. Prior to this news I already made an appointment to see my gyn so I can find out exactly where my herpes 1 is located because it was found in my blood not through a sore. Am I doing the right thing? Do I need to take medication even though I have never had an outbreak and would he as well?
As for my support system, my best friend was always there with a listening ear to relieve me of all the emotions I had to deal with alone. Also, I ended up speaking to my mother about it ( really frightening thought at first) and she surprisingly was really rational and gave some good advice and resources. Thanks again for all your insight and I will keep you posted on the "final" outcome of my doctor's visits!
Its interesting that suddenly its a "we" thing. I wouldn't blame you a bit if you decided that this side of your bf is a side you can't deal with. Is this how he is always going to react in a crisis - nasty, accusatory, etc?
If you decide to stay with him, technically, neither one of you needs meds. You shouldn't start getting outbreaks, and about 50% of those who have genital hsv1 will never get another one. Of those that do, the average is 1 every other year. I can't tell you what to do, but if I had ghsv1, I'd wait to see if I had obs before I decided to take meds. That said, he should have some on hand in case he does get an ob.
Please keep me posted about this. I don't know what your doctor is going to be able to tell you, though. There is no real efficient way of determining where your hsv1 is without symptoms.
AJ, we are on the same page about his reaction in crisis. Throughout this whole ordeal that was my major concern... almost as much as going through the diagnosis process. In my heart I knew that whatever I had wasn't serious but he was so quick to believe his aunt who doesn't know the whole story, a doctor with poor bedside manner who quickly diagnosed him as having syphilis without seeing the results to his cultures or blood work mixed in with an obvious underlying mistrust he's had for me all the while. Matters of the heart are complicated but whatever I choose to do from this point, I can never blame him because I now know who he truly is.
Should I also have medication on hand for an outbreak? My yeast infections, which may not all be yeast infections have become more frequent and I don't want to treat a yeast infection when it may in fact be an outbreak that I can't see. Thank you so much! You definitely made this process a bit more bearable with your expertise. I also downloaded the herpes handbook and reading it makes this seem like less of a problem than it's been blown up into.
I do wonder if your yeast infections are in fact obs, and it might be a good idea to get a viral culture during your next one.
It would be unlikely for ghsv1 to recur that frequently, but a culture might be able to answer that for you. Or you could try treating it with an antiviral and see if that helps.
So his aunt, the wonderful doctor, is the one that diagnosed and treated him for syphilis? Interesting. I would think there's a conflict of interest there, ya know? I think we get red flags for a reason, and take those into careful consideration when making your decisions about this.
He asked his aunt the doctor very late in this and I'm not sure how much information he gave her. Based on what he told her, she said that I had to have had HSV 2. The doctor that initially diagnosed him told him on first look that he had syphilis without getting any tests back. The person that gave him his results as well as the counselor said that if heroes is on the genitals, it has to be HSV 2. When we went in today the counselor said that she had never seen HSV 1 on the genitals before.
You are absolutely correct about the red flags. He is still very emotional and goes in and out of feelings of anger, depression, disbelief and love all in one sitting. I put myself in his position and although I understand what he is feeling, I don't understand his reaction.
I am going to my gyn at the end of the month to get some insight from someone who may give a damn. The doctor that called me about my results gave them to me without any sort of follow up information. This ordeal has left me totally drained!
I'll keep you posted on what comes of my doctors visit at the end of this month.
There isn't a lot your doctor can do now, except give you some information. The next time you have genital symptoms, even if you think its yeast, see your doctor and get a viral culture done.
Please keep me posted.
The aunt and the counselor need some education. Genital herpes type 1 now accounts for 30-50% of all new genital herpes infections. You and the guy should read the herpes information at www.ashastd.org.
Things happen. Don't worry. Get check up regularly. Tell you boyfriend to get back with you and share the problem together. If you share the problem some where being isolated the problem gets worse. Get together, spend the rest of your life together. And make sure educate your children.
Oh Rohan! That really made my night. I've been feeling really isolated throughout this ordeal and am not sure where my bf''s head is now. I know he loves and cares about me but he has isolated himself and me in this situation. I am giving so much right now and I feel really drained and alone. Time will tell. I'm hoping to work things out. Thank you so much for your input!
No Problem. In these cases you need someone to be with you and to tell you the truth that someone is actually your partner. Loneliness will make it worse. CAll him, talk to him. Go out, Dinner, Movie, Picnic, tell him it happened and we can't do nothing about it.
Love is blind and takes us places where we never been before...
After all you too need each other. Hold his hand and pray together. You too meant to be together..
Having the same infection doesn't mean they are meant to be together.
That's a decision she needs to make herself, and herpes shouldn't factor into it. Lots of people with herpes date people who don't have it - myself included.
We have definitely been comunicating a lot more lately...I guess he's had some time to absorb everything. He isn't combative and he seems to be open to working things out. However, I am still a bit apprehensive about us given his initial reaction. I really do care about him and I am still open to working things out with him but will keep in mind his behavior in this situation. People show you who they really are in times of crisis.
I truly know that this situation was not my fault. It was something that happened because of miseducation and the lax attitude of the people I dealt with in the medical community. All I can do now is educate myself about herpes 1 as well as all std's and take the proper precautions. If my current relationship doesn't work out, I'll be fine because herpes 1 is not a death sentence.
I read the herpes handbook and it was extremely informative and made me feel a whole lot better about myself. Love is important. Wisdom is important too. I'm trying to be as wise as I can be right now!
Oh I'm glad things are improving, and that you are communicating better.
Getting a herpes diagnosis can be shocking, especially in a relatively new relationship. Just keep your eyes open, and go from there, and you'll be fine either way. :)
He really needs to see a doctor to get this figured out.
If they think its herpes, he should ask them to culture it to know for sure, and to type it so they know if he has genital hsv1 or 2.
He needs to go sooner rather than later.
Aj
Aj
If you've had syphilis for more than 6 weeks or so, your results should have been positive. If this is indeed a syphilis infection, and you've both been monogamous for 6 months, one of you should have a positive test result.
If its negative for both of you, then you need to test for herpes, if you didn't already.
I'm sorry that you are disappointed in medical care regarding stds. Unfortunately, what's happened is not all that uncommon.
Good luck, and keep me posted.
Aj
If your blood test results come back negative, this is a new infection for you, ok? New as in less than 6 weeks old.
You don't even have results yet, so don't panic.
Its also possible that one of your yeast infections was actually a syphilis sore, and you missed it.
And honestly, I don't see the big issue of trust here. You didn't know. You've only been together for 6 months, so its quite possible that you had an old infection, and really truly didn't know about it.
If your test proves to be an old infection - and get copies of the results - then he has jumped to the wrong conclusions, and that's not fair to you. There is another thread going on here about an old syphilis infection, too. It happens.
Aj
I'm sorry its been so hard figuring this all out. :(
AJ
I'm sorry your bf is gone, and I'm sorry you are going through this.
Aj
You probably got hsv1orally as a kid, like most people.
So does this mean neither of you had syphilis?
I'm sorry your relationship ended over this, especially since it turns out you did nothing wrong.
Aj
My ex ex boyfriend told me he had herpes 1 but I was never diagnosed with it so I didn't know I had it and I didn't know that it could be transmitted to the genitals. I was misinformed or just not informed at all. This is the first time I have been diagnosed with herpes 1.
I have made another appointment to get another full examination and testing on the 29th of this month.
Thank you so much for your expertise. You really have been a big help throughout this ordeal!!!
A good thing for him to read is the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com - it was written by one of the leading herpes experts.
I'm sorry he is so irrational. Tell him to read the handbook, and then it might be time to leave him alone. In all his freaking, and your worry, have either of you wondered about who is supporting you? You are still affected.
Aj
As for my support system, my best friend was always there with a listening ear to relieve me of all the emotions I had to deal with alone. Also, I ended up speaking to my mother about it ( really frightening thought at first) and she surprisingly was really rational and gave some good advice and resources. Thanks again for all your insight and I will keep you posted on the "final" outcome of my doctor's visits!
If you decide to stay with him, technically, neither one of you needs meds. You shouldn't start getting outbreaks, and about 50% of those who have genital hsv1 will never get another one. Of those that do, the average is 1 every other year. I can't tell you what to do, but if I had ghsv1, I'd wait to see if I had obs before I decided to take meds. That said, he should have some on hand in case he does get an ob.
Please keep me posted about this. I don't know what your doctor is going to be able to tell you, though. There is no real efficient way of determining where your hsv1 is without symptoms.
Hang in there,
Aj
Should I also have medication on hand for an outbreak? My yeast infections, which may not all be yeast infections have become more frequent and I don't want to treat a yeast infection when it may in fact be an outbreak that I can't see. Thank you so much! You definitely made this process a bit more bearable with your expertise. I also downloaded the herpes handbook and reading it makes this seem like less of a problem than it's been blown up into.
It would be unlikely for ghsv1 to recur that frequently, but a culture might be able to answer that for you. Or you could try treating it with an antiviral and see if that helps.
So his aunt, the wonderful doctor, is the one that diagnosed and treated him for syphilis? Interesting. I would think there's a conflict of interest there, ya know? I think we get red flags for a reason, and take those into careful consideration when making your decisions about this.
Keep me posted, ok?
Aj
He asked his aunt the doctor very late in this and I'm not sure how much information he gave her. Based on what he told her, she said that I had to have had HSV 2. The doctor that initially diagnosed him told him on first look that he had syphilis without getting any tests back. The person that gave him his results as well as the counselor said that if heroes is on the genitals, it has to be HSV 2. When we went in today the counselor said that she had never seen HSV 1 on the genitals before.
You are absolutely correct about the red flags. He is still very emotional and goes in and out of feelings of anger, depression, disbelief and love all in one sitting. I put myself in his position and although I understand what he is feeling, I don't understand his reaction.
I am going to my gyn at the end of the month to get some insight from someone who may give a damn. The doctor that called me about my results gave them to me without any sort of follow up information. This ordeal has left me totally drained!
I'll keep you posted on what comes of my doctors visit at the end of this month.
Sorry - I've been offline for a few days.
Obs are outbreaks, as in herpes recurrences.
There isn't a lot your doctor can do now, except give you some information. The next time you have genital symptoms, even if you think its yeast, see your doctor and get a viral culture done.
Please keep me posted.
The aunt and the counselor need some education. Genital herpes type 1 now accounts for 30-50% of all new genital herpes infections. You and the guy should read the herpes information at www.ashastd.org.
Good luck!
Aj
Love is important.
Thanks
Love is blind and takes us places where we never been before...
After all you too need each other. Hold his hand and pray together. You too meant to be together..
Rohan
That's a decision she needs to make herself, and herpes shouldn't factor into it. Lots of people with herpes date people who don't have it - myself included.
Aj
I truly know that this situation was not my fault. It was something that happened because of miseducation and the lax attitude of the people I dealt with in the medical community. All I can do now is educate myself about herpes 1 as well as all std's and take the proper precautions. If my current relationship doesn't work out, I'll be fine because herpes 1 is not a death sentence.
I read the herpes handbook and it was extremely informative and made me feel a whole lot better about myself. Love is important. Wisdom is important too. I'm trying to be as wise as I can be right now!
Getting a herpes diagnosis can be shocking, especially in a relatively new relationship. Just keep your eyes open, and go from there, and you'll be fine either way. :)
Keep me posted, and good luck!
Aj