Bingo - the pill stat is what I use to compare it to. No one blinks about a 1% chance of pregnancy (and that's when using it perfectly - same time every day, using a back up if on antibiotics, etc), but we freak about a 1 or 2% chance of herpes.
Trust me - a baby would affect your life a heck of a lot more than herpes will. :)
Aj
Thanks. I know, it's just good to hear it for reinforcement. It's a scary, new thing for me, but I am dealing and I think I am just being to hypersensitive about what's going on in my body and making it into something it's not. Nothing have I felt or seen is anything near my first OB and defininitely have not had any blisters, so who knows. Will just continue to take the Valtrex, be safe, and try to relax. I was thinking about the percentages you provided above as well. 98% chance he won't get it if we didn't use condoms and I'm on Valtrex and a 99% chance he won't get it if we also use condoms. That's actually compareable to the same odds that a person would get pregnant while taking birth control pills..... Always a chance, but slim. Thats reassuring too. I think the social stigma of HSV is what makes it so scary...
Also, by obsessing, you are depriving yourself of really enjoying sex between you and your man, and are depriving your man of the same thing.
He knows the chances, he loves you and wants to be with you. Trust his judgment that he can make these decisions for himself, and is really ok with it, and just wants to be with you, regardless. Don't deprive yourself of that wonderful feeling.
Aj
No, those aren't signs of an impending ob, but sound as if you might be getting a urinary tract infection.
And no, we don't have stats on the situation you describe.
At some point, you have to trust science, and know that the chances you would ever transmit it are just really low, especially on valtrex.
Aj
Thank you. Some of this is very helpful. I do feel like a walking biohazard and although he is aware and knows the risks, I still obsess about giving it to him. It's just hard for me to tell if I am having any symptoms of a recurrent episode or just turning every little bump, slight tingle or itch into something it's not. I know the risk is higher for transmission during these times, so I think I may just be being hypersensitive, but also want to be cautious. It's such a fine line I feel like.
Know anything about the risk of transmission being higher if we had sex two days ago, and yes still taking valtrex and used condom for everythng other than heavy petting, but now I feel like I may be having symptoms? Some excessive urination feelings, tingle after peeing, and some vaginal redness?? No bumps or blisters have appeared yet, but am keeping a close eye on things. Are these even signs of a recurrent OB??
Hi there -
1. If we deicde to ever step away from condom use and I stay on Valtrex, is he doomed to catch it from me?
Nope. If you are on valtrex, then the chances of him NOT getting this from you are 98% a year. Condoms increase it to 99%. Statistically, that's not a significant difference.
2. If he does not penetrate, but we have some heavy petting where his penis rubs on my vagina and around my clit before putting the condom on, is this high risk for him getting it? Odds of getting it this way high or low?
Low - see above.
3. How do I know if small red bumps that I get after shaving, that are almost always there, are herpes related or just razor burn or shaving related? They were there even before my initial OB.
If they are almost always there, its not herpes, but irritated skin can increase viral shedding, so maybe you need to find some new hair removal ideas. Maybe posting in women's health will help get some tips for that.
4. What are the statistics of a male getting it from a female while she is taking Valtrex and using a condom majority of the time (always for full penetration but sometimes without for heavy petting as I stated above)?
For condom use and valtrex - chance of getting it is 1% per year, or a 99% chance of not getting it
5. Odds of him catching it from fingering me and then touching his penis? Mutual Masturbation?
Very low. We don't have stats on this, and while in theory, it should be possible, there have been no documented cases of any std being transmitted this way.
I'd suggest reading the herpes handbook at www.westoverheights.com for more info. You aren't a walking biohazard, and it sounds like you feel that way. I would also strongly encourage you to have your man get tested. 90% of those who have hsv2 don't know they have it because they have no symptoms or very mild ones.
Aj