Hello Dr. H (I found 3 threads sort of similar to this)
(26 male, straight & sober)
Back in July I tested neg. for every std that I could test for. (including hsv1&2) Now I'm even more of afraid of people touching me. I am not a very active person at all. I know I'm a paranoid fool, I'll admit it. But these things really scare the hell out of me!
About 6 days ago I was hanging out (sober) with a girl and she licked my left nipple for about 3 seconds and my right for a little longer. Maybe 5-6 seconds max. She also kissed my right cheek and the right side of my neck once. This was all the "contact" that SHE had with me. I did not kiss/lick her or touch her genitals at all. No mouth to mouth kissing at all. I know most guys would have just gone for it, but not me. I'm so dam scared of std's mostly herpes. After this happened I asked if she had anything/std's/herpes. She said no and that she had been tested recently for all that stuff. She assured me about five times that I had nothing to worry about. I just don't trust some people, maybe it's why I worry so much. What made afraid of this girl was that she had some acne on her face that was sort of covered up with make-up. So in my paranoid mind I automatically thought it was a herpes outbreak!
So like a moron I read on the internet and look at pictures. I got scared because ACNE and Herpes seem to look the same. OMG! why do I do this to myself!
Yesterday I called ASHA once and "medical testing centers" twice to get a few oppinions. I told them the whole story in detail. The guy at ASHA said that I was not at risk and that you can not get herpes that way. The fist guy at "MTC" said "no way" also and added that allthough a herpes outbreak can look like acne, it has to transmit through a mucous membrane or the genital area. Not the nipples or the cheeks/neck. The second guy at"MTC" said that one could absolutely get herpes this way.... Why did I call the third time? I'm a moron, thats why. Now I'm really scared. Now of course I have symptoms.(psycho sematic? I hope so)
A painless,tight/lump feeling in my throat, but not a sore, scratchy throat. Its more like that lump you get when you are scared, but this has not gone away yet. Also my left nipple is a little more sensitive than the right one. But no small blisters, itching or unusual reddnes or pain. When both my nipples are erect the very tips look light colored or bloodless. I've never looked at my nipples in this kind of detail before, so I don't know if this is normal. I'm constantly inspecting my lips and neck area for anything abnormal. No blisters/itching there either. I'm constantly afraid that I might wake up tomorrow with something on my body!
1. What do you think Doctor? I promise I will trust your views and thoughts on this without doubt. Unlike the previous people I called.
2. should I test?
3. should I concider some kind of counceling/therapy for my anxiety?
I will let others provide the senstive, counseling sort of information, as monkeyflower already has (below). My responses are very brief:
1) No risk. 2) HSV testing on the basis of this non-exposure event would be ridiculous. 3) Yes. Whenver someone suspects that s/he would benefit from counseling or suspects an emotional basis for their symptoms or concerns, almost always they are right.
I'm not the doctor, but while you wait for his response I can assure you that you cannot possibly contract herpes this way. Or any STD at all. This was a zero risk event.
And I most definitely think you should seek therapy. I don't know why you fear STDs so much, but it's a real problem and it sounds like this is seriously adversely affecting your life. It's preventing you from developing normal and healthy relationships with others, keeping you isolated, anxious, and constantly on alert. You don't have to live this way. But I'd also suggest that in addition to therapy, talk to your doctor about the possibility of taking medication. The combination of the two may help you get this under control sooner and easier than either one alone.
Thanks for the comment "monkey" I know, I know. I'm a mess. This info (not related to STD's) could be a good clue to my behaivor. In that last six months I've had the following happen:
1. I split up with my girlfriend of a few years (the absolute love of my life) dammit! Oh well
2. I bought my first house, It was a very stressful experience. Still figureing out how to pay for it. ARRGH!
3. Major ups and downs at work. I take it all personally. I know I should not.
4. trying to deal with social stress/pear pressure as a guy. Why do we all have to be players to be cool/accepted by other guys?
Wow, you really are under a lot of stress. I sympathize. Breakups are hard enough - and combined with a new house, job stress, and social pressures, no wonder you're freaked. That's a lot to go through alone. I think you'd find that being able to process all these things with an impartial and supportive therapist would make a world of difference.
In the meantime, remember being "cool" isn't all it's cracked up to be. Be yourself. I think authenticity is a far more attractive quality. And I bet you'll find LOTS more acceptance from others once you accept yourself, just as you are :-)
Thanks for the response Doc. And thank you also to you "monkeyflower" for the kind words/advice.
I do feel a lot better now about this whole thing. The only concern I have for the future is a lame "what if?" So here goes: Would my encounter be of any more concern if the person that I was with was indeed a herpes carrier? And not being honest?....So call me a paranoid fool if you want to. Oh, and Doc. if you read this please don't think that I took your response w/ a grain of salt. I'm just a very curious person. Again, I'm only wondering for fututre reference.
Half of all people have oral HSV-1 infection, so it's a good bet your licker friend is infected. I took that into account in my response. Since the risk was zero is she isn't infected, logic requires that it was higher if she is. No matter what, the risk to too low to measure or even estimate.
Anyway, it wouldn't matter much if you joined the 50% infected. Matter of fact, there's already a 50% chance that you are--in which case you're immune anyway. And even if you got infected from this event, you would simply join that 50%!
No matter how you cut it, this simply isn't a matter worth sweating about.
Being afraid of people touching you is irrational nonsense. I don't say that in an accusatory way. It IS irrational, and it IS nonsense. If you cannot shake that feeling, you definitely need to seek counseling.
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