Last night I visited a massage parlor and, like a moron (I really was only there for a massage, I get them often and have never had a sexual encounter as a result), I ended up having brief sex with my masseuse (she is an Asian female, I am a white male hetrosexual). I am above average in size (about 7" in length and 5.5" circumference), and she was a bit dry, so I had trouble inserting my penis in her vagina (I was using a condom, but no lube).
Upon insertion, I felt the condom pop, and removed my penis no more than 5 seconds after I realized it burst. There was blood on the condom that wasn't mine. I did not see any blood on my penis, and it was more or less dry because I felt all around the tip. I used a second condom and this time we had sex for only a minute or two, but she was in obvious pain and eventually admitted I was just too big for her. I agreed and did not want to hurt her, so we finished with a hand job instead. There was a little blood on the condom the 2nd time also. I removed it carefully and took a shower about 5 minutes after intercourse, cleaned my penis, and went to the bathroom. I never ejaculated inside of her.
I asked her about the blood and she said it had to do with my penis size. I also have psoriasis on my penis, and realize this could be an opening for HIV and other STI's. My partner reassured me several times that she is clean and has been tested, and she even provided me her number (without my asking) to "ease my concerns" (in her words).
But this doesn't ease my concerns, although I was happy she provided a condom without my asking (so she apparently practices safe sex also), I realize she probably has multiple sexual partners. I've read through many of your posts, and they have been helpful, but I wanted to ask my own questions, because everyone's circumstances are unique.
My questions are as follows:
1) If my penis was only exposed inside her vagina, after the condom broke, for not more than 5 seconds (probably less than that), and it was NOT fully inserted, how worried should I be? (remember, there was a little bit of blood on the condom and I have psoriasis)
2) I see you've mentioned elsewhere that time inside the vagina affects one's risk. What causes transmissions?
3) I saw another doctor on this board who mentioned that sex workers and masseuses have low rates of HIV. Is this true, and where does that data come from? It surprises me.
4) What could have caused her vaginal bleeding? (I'm pretty sure she has done this before, so I doubt I broke her hymen)
5) I've seen many on this board say "zero risk" when there is a condom, but there's got to be some "risk", right?
6) If she did have HIV, will the blood to skin contact absolutely mean I will contract the disease?
I feel like I am doomed because there was blood and I have psoriasis. I'm sure you have an idea how scared I am, given what you do. If you have any words or statistics to help me feel better, they'd be appreciated, if not, I guess I'll live with fear for the next 3 months or so... AND NEVER HAVE SEX AGAIN!
Thank you for your added assurance. Today I feel great and it will be 48 hours tonight, so as the Dr. said, each passing day without symptoms will reduce my already low risk. Thanks once again for you you folks do here.
Unfortunately, I have noticed what appears to be a discharge of cloudy mucus from my penis over the last couple days. It has been a month since the encounter. I suspect this might be gonorrhea, I'm going to get tested tomorrow. I understand that gonorrhea is treatable, are there any other concerns I should have? Since then I have had protected sex with my partner and one oral sex (unprotected), what are the chances she contracted this orally?
For discharge yes, (recalling you exposure vaginal sex with torn condom), you should test for gonorrhea, chlamydia, and NGU.
There is just about zero chance that your partner contracted something orally as I believe you are gonorrhea negative (the only thing she was possibly exposed to). But just because I say this doesn't mean you shouldn't test. I think you should test. Again test for: gonorrhea, NGU and chlamydia.
Come back and let us know your results if you wish.
It got my tests back and I did have NGU, but not chlamydia. All my other test results came back negative, including for HIV and herpes. This was just shy of 5 weeks post exposure, can I breathe easy that my STD tests are accurate and that I do not have any other form of STD other than the NGU? Finally, my NGU cleared up almost immediately upon taking the medication and I no longer have any symptoms outside of 2 weeks. Is there anything else I need to worry about or can I move on with my life now? Thanks again for all you do.
this was protected sex and brief at that. odds are whatever is going on, is not from the encounter you posted about. even "normal" vaginal and/or mouth flora in your partner isn't always so normal in the urogenital area.
up to you if you want to pursue any additional testing from your encounter. it was very low risk, even with the condom breaking. have you talked to your regular partner about all of this?
Your encounter was protected and you were exposed briefly. A similar thing happend to me, I had condom protected sex (with CSW however my condom DID stay intact). Then I tested for everything in the STD book, only came down with NGU. I will tell you --you probably did NOT get NGU from the massage place, but from oral sex or vaginal sex with your regular partner.
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