Could I have gotten herpes?

Hi Dr.,

I have a new partner, but we have not had genital/genital contact yet or intercourse.  I have this rule where we can do whatever we want, grinding and such, as long as one of us has our pants on.

In any case, I am really worried  We did mutual masturbation last week, and again yesterday, and then again today, and our hands were back and forth a lot.  We also had oral sex today.  The lighting was really good today though, and I noticed that he has a small lesion on his penis that looks like it could be herpetic.  It looks like it isn't 'wet' anymore though...it looked like it was healing and already 'dry',

I asked him what it was, and he said he hadn't noticed it before and that it didn't hurt, but I'm not reassured by that.

I am so confused by what I have been reading on the Internet.  

1. Could I have gotten genital herpes from the back and forth of our hands during mutual masturbation?  I am assuming that it was probably fresh last week when we had mutual masturbation.
2. Are herpes lesions still contagious when they are dry, or is it like the chicken pox in that when they aren't fresh anymore and they are scabbed, they are no logner contagious?
3. Could I have gotten oral herpes from this scabbed today?  If so, is this likely or unlikely?
4. If it is possible that I got herpes, would I definitely get symptoms in the next couple of weeks if I am on the lookout?

Oh, I recently tested negative for both types of herpes.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Several comments before I get to your specific questions.  For starters, as you are finding out, the internet is a confusing place to look for information and the information there is often misleading or not applicable to your specific situation.  I can tell you that interactions with the internet are far more likely to be misleading than helpful.  

Second, you are correct to be concerned that the small lesion on your partner's penis might be herpes.  That it is not painful is not, by any means, sufficient to guarantee that it is not herpes.  On the other hand, sounds as though your interactions of late have involved a lot of friction ("grinding") and such activity can lead to lesions (which are not herpes)  as well.

Finally, depending on where you are going with this relationship, it might be a good idea for your partner to go for testing as you have.  The information is helpful whether he has herpes or not should not influence the relationship but can provide information to allow you both to move forward with confidence.

Now, on to your questions:
1.  Herpes is spread by direct contact, not through the intermediary of a person’s hands.  Thus mutual masturbation does not put you are risk for herpes.
2.  Healed (i.e. scabbed herpes lesions are not contagious most of the time. On the other hand, for persons with herpes there can be asymptomatic, as well as symptomatic shedding of the virus present at just about any time.  Thus if your partner has herpes, he could give it to you irrespective of whether lesions are present or not.  For this reason, the important steps in HSV transmission prevention are: 1.  For both members to know if one or both have herpes; 2.  Avoidance of sex when lesions are present which is the situation when risk of transmission is greatest; 3.  Correct and consistent condom use; and 4.  For the person with herpes to take suppressive therapy with antiviral medications.  If these steps are taken, transmission of HSV becomes very rare.
3.  See above.  Possible but unlikely
4.  Very rarely persons who have been exposed to herpes can develop infection without being aware of lesions.  This however is very rare.  If you do not develop lesions 4-10 days after exposure you have very little to worry about.

Hope this helps.  EWH

[puddingpop_1986_22]

Thank you for your prompt reply.

Are you saying that I didn't get genital herpes from this exposure (because we had no genital to genital contact and only mutual masturbation), and that it is possible but unlikely that I got oral herpes?  If so, would I still expect to see lesions within the next 4-10 days?

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Your are asking for me to repeat myself.  I can tell you that mutual masturbation does not lead to STD transmission.  This is fact.  Similarly, it is very unlikley that you got oral herpes from recent oral sex.   I will not repeat myself again.  EWH

[puddingpop_1986_22]

Dr...I am still a bit confused, and I hope you can help me out.

How rare is oral HSV-2 really?

I always thought that it was very rare to get, regardless of the circumstances.  I have been reading up on it though because I am VERY stressed out, and I am reading here that it might not be that rare, but people just don't know they have it?  So which is it?  Have you seen a lot of oral HSV-2?

Should I get tested?

[puddingpop_1986_22]

I have been thinking, and I'm not sure if it was really healing or not.  I know that it was not a blister and it did not appear wet, but it was difficult to be totally sure.  Also, the skin felt smooth...in any case, I am second guessing whether or not if was healing or not.

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Oral HSV-2 is very rare.  You do not need testing.  I told you that. If you do not develop symptoms within 10 days of your exposure, you do not need to worry.

You are second guessing things.  My advice is to try to relax.  Your risk is very low.  EWH

[puddingpop_1986_22]

I am trying to relax, and I realize that I probably need therapy.  I remembered that we took pictures that night though (the day we had oral sex, and the last day we had mutual masturbation), and I found one where you can see the lesion well.  I cropped it.  Do you think you could look at it for me and tell me that if this were herpes, would it be contagious at this point?  I promise this will be my last post, and I will seek mental help.

[puddingpop_1986_22]

http://i708.photobucket.com/albums/ww81/puddingpop198622/IMG_0491.jpg

[Edward W Hook, MD]

Sorry, Dr. Handsfield and I do not look at pictures provided through the forum.  Pictures can be misleading and we really do not want to try to practice medicine over the internet.  Furthermore, even if his lesions was herpes, odds are that your exposure still did not lead to infection.  Even when partners have infection, most exposures do not lead to transmission of infection.

The time has come to end this thread. Further questions will be deleted without comment.  EWH

[puddingpop_1986_22]

I was really trying to believe that this isn't herpes, but of course, I got a symptom!  My throat felt a little scratchy last night, so I looked at it today.  There are red marks/streaks on my uvula.  Could inital herpes present this way?

I see no other sores, and I don't have a fever or swollen glands.  My only other guess is that it could be allergies, because I have a slight cough with it too.